[redbull76]

Ok so she broke up wit me in Feb of this yr, found out later left me for the guy she is with now. Since the breakup she has stayed in contact with me and I also allowed it. She told me (but found out it was a lie0 in June she was single and wanted to see me so for the whole month of June I would go to her job everyday and see her and go back and have lunch she would email me between 40-50 times a day everyday, told me she still loved me, I was best for her, she can't live without me, etc, etc. So after about 4weeks of this I asked her if she would like to try again and I was rejected.. And found out she never really did break up with the guy!! Well I got really mad/hurt and told her I was sending all the emails to her boyfriend cause I felt he deserved to know, well she flipped out yelling, cursing and threatening me. I told her that after a 7yr relationship I never thought she was like that and asked her to let me go and I wanted nothing to do with her, I had to change my cell number cause she would still text me, about once a week she would email me I just ignored it. Now its Sept been over two months since I heard form her and yesterday I'm checking my email and there's her name, I open it and it's a pic of her and I when we were in Jamaica and it said Come her for lunch.. So stupid me did. Correct me if I'm wrong but would anyone else here think that she maybe wanted to start dating again? I didn't want this dragged out and asked her right away what her intentions were and she said "i missed you and just wanted to say hi" I said I understand and respect that but its always been all or nothing for me and to please AGAIN let me go! OK she says then emails me yesterday asking why we can't say goodbye nicely and I will leave you alone. So what I'm asking is why does she care if we say goodbye nicely? Is she really over me? Cause I feel you can't get over someone and move on if you talk and see them. And should I mail the emails to her boyfriend or would that just make me look like the desperate ex-bf? I can't be her friend cause that would be lying to myself and a fake friendship.. any advise or criticism or further details you need to help would be so great, FYI-still care about her ;-)

[silverlining]

Looks like she wants to have her cake and eat it too.. Life doesn't work like that. Cut off all contact! Who cares if she wants to say goodbye 'nicely' just forget about her she's not worth it..

[mystific]

You sir are on 'the hook'.

I'm becoming to become fond of that term. When there's a lull in her current relationship she's got you to pep her right back up and unfortunately new boyfriend is the one reaping the benefits of your selflessness.

Don't forward the emails.. you're just opening a door to a whole new world of hurt.

Set up a rule for your emails and have her emails address flagged as junk and straight to the deleted bin.. then delete it.

You are not going to move on while she's still got the claws in.

[Jake2008]

You say you broke up about 7 months ago, but still you 'care' about her and I presume that to mean, care more than you should about a ex girlfriend.

I'm not so sure there hasn't been more communication that what you say. Why wasn't her phone number blocked, and why do you not just say 'no'.

There is a part of a relationship, called, 'The End.' That's all folks, it's over, everybody can go home now, show's over. No turning back the clock, no re-doing anything, no changing the reasons for the breakup, no removing from memory all the hurt, confusion, lying, cheating, backstabbing and cruel intentions.

The relationship was bad. Unhealthy, unproductive, unfaithful. There was no trust, there was no fidelity, honesty or good intentions. Just deceipt and lies.

So, if you still want to hang onto all of that, more power to you.

Neither of you can call it quits, or recognize that it is, in fact, 'The End.', as in over, kaput, in the past. The ship has sunk. The fat lady has done an encore- what more do you need.

One of you needs to put on your grown up pants and end this toxic merry go round ride.

[Devorameira]

She's just stringing you along - you really need to totally stay away from her... but I think you really know that in your heart.

She's really not that nice of a person. If she was, she wouldn't be deceiving her boyfriend by contacting and meeting up with you. I consider that cheating.

You say you changed your cell phone number, but don't you think that it's now time to change your e-mail address too?

[answerme_tender]

Why do you keep telling her to let you go. Mister it isn't her that has that control, its you. So man up and realize either you like being used by her or you really want to move on. We have all been there, wanting to still have some hope that we can cling to, but you have to make a decision here and stop blaming her, she can no longer hurt you unless you give her that ability. And after all this time, if you let continue to hurt you,then shame on you not her.

[redbull76]

All right it looks like everyone responded in a negative (but I guess correct) way. I just needed some understanding I'm older then her and have let her go and never have called since the break up. It just confused me is how can she have moved on if she still feels the need to call or see me. If I wanted to move on and move forward I would not want to call or see a ex, especially if I was with someone new all my attention would be towards him/her. That's all guys thanks for responding I was wrong and assumed that for 2 months if your trying your hardest to contact someone by email she calls my cousin my mom asking them for me to call just thought she maybe wanted to start dating again but is the case of have her cake and eat it to very selfish. She wants to say hi and be friends so bad I almost feel like being a fake friend for payback Advise? Fyi-she emailed me fri and said her mom might have cancer so now I feel bad,, damm.
mystific your right not going to do it if he has been this neive about what's been going on since day one then he deserves her... the whole start has been based on lies so good luck wit that

[redbull76]

You you are right and I do know that. I have gone throu 5 emails I'm not kidding
She won't let me go at first she told me she was sorry and made a mistake and I believed her now it's a obbsession or something

[Shadowburn]

Why do you ask her to let you go? It's you who's holding on, not her - she has a new boyfriend, and you're still pining for her 7 months later.

Block her email and don't listen to her sob stories. Don't feel bad for her... she obviously doesn't feel bad for you.

[Kitkat22]

Move on and stop being a puppet.
She pulls your strings and you dance. I would think you would be tired of being a port in a storm.

[answerme_tender]

Redbull you are her "OPTION". If things don't work out then she still has another option and that is YOU. She has to get in contact to keep that option available! Listen all of us have been that OPTION at one time or another in our lives, how do you think we found this location on the internet. Everyone deserves to be more then an option,we all deserve to be that someone specials choice!! Good luck

[redbull76]

Its funny how someone could be that evil like the Option thing stringing along. I don't think or act like that guess that is why I'm blind to these kinds of things. Thank u for your help