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Tzchick · Sep 13, 2010, 11:25 AM

I mean like your dating this guy for a long time. He's not a cheat, he cares about you and you're totally in love... is it okay to have sex??

Kitkat22 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:28 AM

No it isn't. Guys will change in your life. You think you love this guy and next year or next month, it may be someone else. Save your body and your virginity for when you're older and really in love.

adam_89 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:31 AM

I can not really tell you what to do because this is the internet and I have no say what you do in your life. If I say no, you could do it and it would make no difference in the world to you. If I said yes, I would feel more like an idiot. Anyway, a lot of people lose their virginity around that age, I am one of them. Don't sleep with this guy for the wrong reasons. You don't want to regret it later on.

adam_89 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:34 AM

Also I will tell you a little story that might or night not help. There was this one girl I dated and I was her second partner. She said she wished she had saved her virginity for me. I eventually broke up with her months down the road and I bet she wishes I wasn't her second. I hope you get the point of this story.

redhed35 · Sep 13, 2010, 11:43 AM

Are you ready to have a baby?

Are you emotionally,mentally,and physically ready for pregnancy? Have enough money to support a baby?

Even with contraception, you can get pregnant,it lessens the odds,but it happens to thousands of women every single day.

Are you ready for the rollercoaster of emotions that follow sex and the changes that occur in the relationship?

There's a lot more involved in sex then just doing the deed.

If you have to ask if its 'ok' then,no,its not OK.

ScottGem · Sep 13, 2010, 11:56 AM

NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse until they are financially, physically and emotionally ready to have a child. Since sexual intercourse involves giving up your virginity then the answer to your question is no, its not OK.

slapshot_oi · Sep 13, 2010, 12:06 PM

Going off adam_89's post, we can't tell you what to do, because it's a question of personal choice, not right and wrong. You're going to do what you want, and that's why America's awesome.

I do have one thing to say, sex doesn't always mean love.

redhed35 · Sep 13, 2010, 12:16 PM

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Going off of adam_89's post, we can't tell you what to do, because it's a question of personal choice, not right and wrong. You're gonna do what you want, and that's why America's awesome.

I do have one thing to say, sex doesn't always mean love.

I disagree.

I disagree,because if she was going to do what she wanted to do she would not have taken the time to ask the question.

It's a question of personal choice when she has all the facts and can make an informed decision.

Then she can make a smart choice based on factual information,not just because America is awesome.

ScottGem · Sep 13, 2010, 12:19 PM

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

Going off of adam_89's post, we can't tell you what to do, because it's a question of personal choice, not right and wrong. You're gonna do what you want, and that's why America's awesome.

I do have one thing to say, sex doesn't always mean love.

I also disagree. I think it is wrong to risk bringing a baby into the world and potentially ruining one's life when one is unprepared to do so.

adam_89 · Sep 13, 2010, 12:19 PM

Last thing I am going to say, I think it was just being said as, no matter what we say, she will still end up doing what she feels is right. Or hopefully will. We could all tell her no and her heart might tell her otherwise. We could all tell her yes and her heart could decide against that.

Enigma1999 · Sep 13, 2010, 12:37 PM

NO.

You two are too young to engage in adult stuff. Even some adults shouldn't engage in sexual activities.

He may be a sweet guy, and if so, then he will wait until not only you are old enough, but take on the responsibilities of a child.

There will be plenty of time for all of that. I waited until I was 25, and it didn't kill me.

Enjoy being 16.

Good Luck.

88sunflower · Sep 13, 2010, 12:47 PM

I think you need to wait. Sex doesn't equal love by any means.

You know what my first time was? I was only 15 for a couple weeks. We were on our way to a dance and we got so darn drunk. Well he decided to take a detour on the way to the dance and that's how I lost my virginity. I was barely able to fight him let alone think about saying no. That's because in my mind he was my love and I surely wasn't thinking rape. Sure I dated him for a couple years. But if I could take that one time in my life back I would give anything to do it. I would have never ever let that happen. I have no idea if he even used protection.

Oh yes, protection. I had this friend who lost her virginity about 16. She was smart enough to use protection her first time. To bad it wasn't 100% because she became pregnant her first time. True story.

Don't do it.

88sunflower · Sep 13, 2010, 01:07 PM

Maybe that wasn't the best response. But I wasn't just going to give my opinion on what's right or wrong. I thought reality is best. I think many girls out there wish they would have waited or it would have been different.

Enigma1999 · Sep 13, 2010, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by 88sunflower

Maybe that wasnt the best response. But I wasnt just going to give my opinion on whats right or wrong. I thought reality is best. I think many girls out there wish they would have waited or it would have been different.

That was too a great response.

You're right, some times people need to hear stories to help them make a decision.

Thank you for sharing.:)

Kitkat22 · Sep 13, 2010, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

That was too a great response.

You're right, some times people need to hear stories to help them make a decision.

Thank you for sharing.:)

I agree 1000%... :)

88sunflower · Sep 13, 2010, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by Enigma1999

That was too a great response.

You're right, some times people need to hear stories to help them make a decision.

Thank you for sharing.:)

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

I agree 1000%...:)

Jeez guys thanks. I was sure I might get heat for that for some reason. But today I don't care. Honest answer for an honest question I guess.

Now where is the OP? Lets hope it didn't happen.

ScottGem · Sep 14, 2010, 06:49 AM

Comments on this post

Mystific disagrees : if it was based on finances.. I wouldn't have the lovely charming daughter I have today.

Please review the rules on using the Comments feature found Here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

You are entitled to disagree with my response, but a negative comment should only be used to correct an inaccurate or incorrect response. NOT a difference of opinion. So your use of the comments feature was inappropriate.

I do not know your situation. But I DO know that, in the majority of cases, when people have a child they are not financially prepared for, that child suffers more often than not, or the parents struggle to their detriment. I stand by my recommendation. No one should engage in sexual intercourse until they are emotionally, physically and financially prepared to have a child.

Kitkat22 · Sep 14, 2010, 11:06 AM

Originally Posted by ;

mystific disagrees : if it was based on finances .. i wouldnt have the lovely charming daughter i have today.

Mystific... the remarks you made and the disagree was way out of line. ScottGem was addressing the OP who is sixteen years old. He was not addressing you. If you want to start your own thread then do so. I hope the OP doesn't think you were saying it was all right to have sex. We try to give the best advice we can here. No! It isn't okay for a sixteen year old to have sex and maybe end up with a child. What seems right for you, isn't right for this girl.

ARD_child · Sep 14, 2010, 12:32 PM

No, No, No.
Do not let him pressure you into anything you don't want to do. I would say think about whether you want to have sex with him, because you will remember your first time forever. Really put thought into it, think about weather you really love him or is it just lust? Sex is an amazing experience if done right, but only when one wants to is it a pleasurable experience.

I would overall recommend to really evaluate your feelings and your position about sexual intercourse.

Cat1864 · Sep 14, 2010, 03:23 PM

I think this is a discussion you need to have with your parents.

There are more factors that go into deciding to have sex than just 'is the guy trustworthy'. Not only are you asking about 'underage' (by many countries laws, I don't know about Tanzania) sex, but, also, premarital sex. Premarital sex brings in Cultural, Religious and family views.

I cannot give you advice that could be against the laws and morals of your country and family.

I will echo the sentiment that you should wait. If he cares for you as much as you think, then he will be willing to wait, too.