[mistee]

Me and my ex have been broken up for about 4 years. At the time I met him I was dating a guy who was deployed to Iraq. I told him at the time I was in a relationship.. well a few months pass and my boyfriend in Iraq breaks up w/ me and I get w/ my ex. Few months later my ex in Iraq emails me and says he messed up and he does love me. Well from that time on I was hung up on my ex. The boyfriend at the time would beg me to love him like I did my ex and I did but I just couldn't let my ex go. I told my current boyfriend at the time I wish I would have met him 5 years later when I was ready. He wanted a serious relationship and I wanted to go out drinking all the time and party w/ my friends.
We broke up after a year, after a fight one day and I tried to get him back a week later and he would not get back w/ me. I went crazy and kept calling and going to his house for about a month. It took me losing him to realize how much I actually loved him and he really was a good guy. I am in a relationship now for 2 years and I occasionally think about my ex. I am kind of in the same situation w/ my current relationship where he puts his friends first and I feel like its my karma from how I treated my past relationship. I have tried my best to learn from my previous relationship and not make the same mistakes. I try to appreciate my current boyfriend as much as I can.
I want to email my ex and apologize and just see how he is doing. He started dating a girl not even a month after we broke up and it appears they are still together. I don't expect him to date me.. I really just want him to know what an idiot I was and for him to know I'm truly sorry. I don't expect him to ever speak to me again but I think I might feel better if I told him I know I messed up and my priorities were jacked up and that he was a good guy.

[martinizing2]

You seem rather obsessed with your first boyfriend it being 4 years and you still are hanging on albeit in memories, you really need to work on moving on and trying to forget while learning from mistakes made at that time.
Your first ex he has moved on and been with his current partner 4 years now.
I see no use in contacting him at all. It is time to forget him and for you to move on.

But moving on to someone who you have to look for ways to appreciate is not a good move. A wise person will not allow someone to be a priority in their life when they are not a priority in the other persons.(I think I got the idea but missed the wording... that is the signature of a member here , sorry if I screwed it up tal)

It sounds like you need to re evaluate your current relationship and save some heartache in the future.
Don't be mistreated and chalk it up to karma.

A good relationship has mutual respect and consideration based on honesty and communication. If these aren't there move on.

[Kitkat22]

Have you ever though.. you may want him, because he's not available? Move on. He has.

[mistee]

I don't want him.. and it's been years I am sure we are totally different people now. I just think about it sometimes and feel guilty and want to apologize. I look back and can't believe I treated someone I loved like that but I guess its my own issue not his.

[YeloDasy]

One of my ex's treated me really bad, cheated, etc... he had gotten married to the girl and had kids... and about 5 years later he called and apologized. It was funny, he called and hung up, then called again because he was so nervous. He sincerely apologized for the past.

It did feel really good!

But I also know that he was going through a divorce from her, and he was looking to feel better for himself and he ended up asking for my emotional support. That totally took away all the apology and made me feel used again. Yeah it was nice that he apologized, but he owed me, not me owe him.

So if you do it, do it for the right reasons. Make sure you are not going to make him feel like you are needy. I can see both sides... it did feel good, but you are only doing it because you are not okay with your situation. That is the part I did not like.

[lifeistough75]

Do it! Do it, if you have no other motive but to apologize for your actions. By the way, that shows maturity, and is part of moving on. If you have done someone wrong, especially someone you love, that person will appreciate a genuine apology. There is nothing wrong with it, but ensure you are doing it for the right reasons.

[Kitkat22]

I think you should leave it alone. It doesn't seem to be bothering him and he has moved on and is also happy.

His girlfriend wouldn't like it much and I don't think he would either.
If you're thinking of doing this because there may be some chance of getting back together, you're wrong.

If he wanted you, he would be with you. Leave it alone.

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Leave him alone.

[Homegirl 50]

Leave this guy alone. I don't think he gives you one thought. He is with someone and happy, you have no right to invade his space just to make yourself feel better.

Work on your current situation or leave it. Leave the 4 year past one in the past.

[talaniman]

Leave this guy alone. I don't think he gives you one thought. He is with someone and happy, you have no right to invade his space just to make yourself feel better.

Work on your current situation or leave it. Leave the 4 year past one in the past.

Copied and pasted because that's exactly my advice. Your just stroking your own ego, because of the situation you're in. Deal with it.-T.

[asking]

No. Don't call him.

[sasher]

How do you know that the guy is happy? Everyone is saying here that 'leave him alone' 'hes moved on' etc.. etc... how the hell do we know that he's moved on and that he doesn't think about this girl everyday as well?? That's what I'm doing at the moment, I'm dating a girl and wishing everyday my ex would knock on my door.. sad I know.

[kaka67]

You will of course do what you think is right for you and only you.

Your selfish behaviour runied what you had with him previously and now your selfishness is once again dictating your behaviour.

If I was this guy and you turned up on my door step I would not be impressed.

You had your chance and blew it. Move on. If you not happy with the guy your with then leave.

But if you go against the advice you've been given let us know how it went. :rolleyes:

[Homegirl 50]

Work on your present situation or leave it, but leave the past alone.
It would be very selfish to invade this guys space after all this time just so you can feel better.

[Shadowburn]

How do you know that the guy is happy? everyone is saying here that 'leave him alone' 'hes moved on' etc.. etc... how the hell do we know that he's moved on and that he doesnt think about this girl everyday as well????? Thats what im doing at the moment, im dating a girl and wishing everyday my ex would knock on my door.. sad i know.

The harsh reality is that her ex has a phone too... if he'd want to get in touch, he could and he would. Relationships are two-way streets.

But he hasn't. He is somewhere out there living his life in peace. So we can safely conclude he is happy and has moved on.

[Homegirl 50]

Have to spread the rep Shadowburn but I agree with you.
If this guy wanted to get in touch with her he would have by now.
She needs to work on the life she has now and leave the past in the past. She is crying over milk that was spilled a long time ago. Clean it up and move on.

[Robrecord]

Forgive yourself.

[Robrecord]

Forgive yourself.