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    live_love_laugh's Avatar
    live_love_laugh Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Sep 9, 2010, 06:09 PM
    Just broke up and I'm feeling stupid
    OK so I meet this girl 8months ago over the internet we did really good and hit it off great. Well at 1st then after 2months of going out we finally met in person and it was great we had a lot of fun and I spent over a month with her.but then I found out about her past and from there it was rocky,she's never had a boyfriend that she hasn't cheated on,so I was like so surprised but I stayed with her because in that month we got so close we did things together for the 1st time and made lots of memories.I found out also she was sneaky,she's lied to me and hid secrets like for example when we started going out she had a boyfriend and left him for me.and I found out by going threw her phone and he's saying thing like "take me back i love you" and all she saying is "i dont know maby well see".so I was mad when they were still talking to him and sending picturess back and fourth to each other. She admitted she was wrong for doing it and said she would stop talking to him.so she did then 2days later I see her sneaking and txting him we have a long talk and again I for gave her.after my vist from march till April I go back home.and its gets rough again she gets mad because I deleted a picture of her best friend out her phone witch was a guy and he was naked,it was old before we went out but I was mad that she had it knowing we went out.and I deletd all my pitures of females from my past and she kept hers.so we fix thing again and then we break up but were trying to fix things and I find out that she goes out and parties and meets two guys and dances with them gives them her number.and tells me "we were broken up so i didnt do nothing wrong"but a week before that she said we "never really break up we just take short breaks so theres no reason for us doing thing we aint suppose to do"to make it a little shorter she cheats on me with a ex and it kills me inside to here that because I've done so much for her and tried so hard to be with her and I gave her the best of me and it seems like it doesn't matter just before she cheated she told me she wanted to be with me and have a baby in the future and just pumped my head full of thoughts.now she tells me she doesn't want to be with me because she wants to mingle and have fun so I'm really lost and sad part is I till love her and want to be with her.but I know I deserve better and can get better but I need help on how to move on?? even thow she's 300miles away she stays in my head I'm just so lost right now I need advice to help
    abelladonus's Avatar
    abelladonus Posts: 15, Reputation: 10
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    #2

    Sep 9, 2010, 06:21 PM
    I know that when I had my first real breakup it was hard. For me, the best thing I did was getting involved with other activities. I started spending more time with friends and found other things to occupy my time and mind. I also talked to my friends about what I was going through and they made a point of keeping me extra busy so my mind wouldn't wander off and start thinking about the person. Also, when I got involved with new friends, I met someone new. Before I knew it, I was in another relationship and I didn't really care as much about that person anymore. I don't know that this will work for you, but it's still good to spend time with other people. It's cool to have virtual friends and relationships, but it's more rewarding to have friends and significant others who you can actually see and spend time with. I hope this helps!!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #3

    Sep 9, 2010, 06:21 PM

    Stop being a doormat. Women do not like whiny, spineless guys who beg to them. How in the world can you "go out" on line.

    Leave her alone and find someone
    You can date face to face. You never, ever know what you're getting on line.

    She's lied and cheated and slept around. Why do want someone like that?
    live_love_laugh's Avatar
    live_love_laugh Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Sep 9, 2010, 06:30 PM
    Well we had a lot of good time so I guess that's what makes me hold on but the bad is too much to stay.she wants to be my friend but should I? Or should I just stop talking to her and go no contact with her?
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Sep 9, 2010, 06:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by live_love_laugh View Post
    well we had alot of good time so i guess thats waht makes me hold on but the bad is to much to stay.she wants to be my friend but should i?? or should i just stop talking to her and go no contact with her??


    Go NC and you'll feel better. You deserve a nice girl who loves only you.
    She's a user. Good luck.:)
    abelladonus's Avatar
    abelladonus Posts: 15, Reputation: 10
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    #6

    Sep 9, 2010, 08:10 PM
    I agree with Kitkat22... it's best to have no more contact. A clean break is a less painful break...
    live_love_laugh's Avatar
    live_love_laugh Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Nov 27, 2010, 12:54 AM
    Confused and lost in love
    OK I been dateing my girlfriend for almost a year and we been threw so much.now were at this point where we both want the same thing but its like to me she hides it.or maby she wants it but is just not ready to do it.like we broke up because he cheated on me.then she realized that she was dumb and wanted to come back so I let her back.and now we made this agreement to drop all the girls I talk to, and all the guys she talked to while we were broken up.and when it came to him she wouldn't do what's write and what I asked of her.and she says I'm trying to control her.but I'm not I just want the same respect I gave and give her.now she says were just friends but wants to kiss that,have sex etc... go threw my phone.she wants all the perks of being with me but wants to do what she wants.I mean she hasn't talked to the guy but I feel like she's getting over on me and isn't being fair and I'm un sure how to approach her on this.I need help
    apremru's Avatar
    apremru Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Nov 27, 2010, 04:28 AM
    Simple... she can't have her cake and eat it too! She has to respect you as you do her or else the two of you have nothing.
    ironhide262's Avatar
    ironhide262 Posts: 277, Reputation: 243
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    #9

    Nov 27, 2010, 08:31 AM
    Well, you took her back after she cheated on you... she should be the one bending over backwards for you! Dump her!

    This should be an easy decision after taking her back and she can't even meet you half way! You can do better, you deserve better!
    bkosstype's Avatar
    bkosstype Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Nov 27, 2010, 11:24 AM
    You deserve better, a cheater will always be a cheater :(
    live_love_laugh's Avatar
    live_love_laugh Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #11

    Nov 27, 2010, 10:39 PM
    How do I help myself get over her like I really want to but its like when I see her calling txting any form of contacting me I think she's changed and this time I really want to move on
    ironhide262's Avatar
    ironhide262 Posts: 277, Reputation: 243
    Full Member
     
    #12

    Nov 28, 2010, 07:46 AM
    NO CONTACT! Read the stickes at the top of the relationship page... that is a good start. Cut all forms of contact( phone, IM, social networks). This "lets be friends" , you right! only serves her selfish needs. Soon as she finds another guy you will most likely be kicked to the curb, without any remorse or regrets( after all, you are just friends, right?)

    "she wants all the perks of being with me but wants to do what she wants"--- does this sounds like respect to you? It's time to stop living in the past( those good times) and get a grip over what's happening now. She's not the same girl anymore and she is just using you now.

    Time to let a little anger at the way you have been treated seep in. Cut all contact... it's the best way. Time to get selfish, get busy with your life and most importantly learn from this and hook up with someone better.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #13

    Nov 28, 2010, 11:13 AM

    Disappear from this lying, cheating players life, and your life will get better.

    Talaniman Rule - If they can't treat you like you want to be treated, don't mess around with them.

    Talaniman Rule- When you allow bad behavior, you will get it.

    Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

    Talaniman Rule- Never get so wrapped up with wanting something, when you know you can't have it.

    Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

    Talaniman Rule- Don't get sucked in the confusion of being friends, at the expense of your healing

    Talaniman Rule-Love yourself enough to never allow any one to treat you badly. If they do, LEAVE.

    Talaniman Rule- When you see a brick wall, don't go head first into it, and expect to get on the other side.

    Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

    Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

    Talaniman Rules- when you get dumped, don't go back to get dumped again

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