[Desert_rose]

Hi everyone . I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and 10 months . I'm 27 years old and he is 28. He was my first boyfriend and my first everything... He had one serious relationship before me ( 3 years ) and some short ones too...  

We've always been great together , I love him very much and he loves me too. Always telling me how amazing I am , how lucky he is to be with me... I am a very romantic person . Love to surprise him With sweet little suprises... Like a romantic dinner , booked a hotel room and decorated all over with rose petals... Champagne and strawberrys on room. Nice things...

He was never the super romantic kind of guy. But he really aprreciated everything I've done for him... We really complete each other .  So my problem is... I have never met his parents . Because of religion they wouldn't accept me . He always said in the right time I'll meet them. It's been almost 6 years and he won't move

After me putting a lot of pressure he finally took me once to meet his mother . She was nice to me . That was the only one time I met her...  I told him how I feel and he says for me to stop being silly that he loved me and will always be by my side . That one day when we get married they will have to accept... The thing is , we are not even engaged and he doesent talk about future... How long do I have to wait?  I know he takes me for granted .

He lives with his parents and come around to see me few times a week . (around 4 x) . I hurt everyday that I'm not allowed in his house . He always have an excuse on why we can't move in together ( mainly finacial)... So lately we argue a lot for silly  little things and I feel we are becoming distant... This problem is really putting a strain on my relatioship   I feel like I'm taken for granted . How long does he wants me to wait around?xx

[redhed35]

5 years is plenty of time to act his act together.

I would ask you the same question you pose.

How long do you want to stay around?

What are you willing to put up with?

If you decide you have had enough,in time you may meet someone who wants the same things as you do.

If he is not willing to discuss your future together,why are you still together?

Only you can answer that.

[BMI]

Your post is a bit contradictory. You introduce him as being very appreciative of you yet later say he takes you for granted. Also, you compliment each other and love each other and that he will always be by your side regardless of his parent view, yet you are thinking of walking away? Over living arrangements and his family.

You certainly have a point; However, as mentioned above, if you love for him is so strong than it should see you through this. If not, walk away now before it becomes harder.

His situation seems to be difficult so make sure you do not cloud that view with only what you wish. He cannot do much about his parents, their reason are their reasons, I doubt he can alter that course. As for moving out, not much information has been given as to his reasons but I've never supported asking someone to move out on threat of leaving. In the grand scheme of things, such issues seem temporary and trivial.

Actually, I do believe money was an issue in his reasoning not to move out. If so, what are your suggestions? For him to make more money? Had he the choice I'm sure he would.

All in all, redhead gave the simplest answer. Consider that.

[talaniman]

If he hasn't figured out what you really want in 6 years, and how to give it to you, then you wait no longer, because you have already waited long enough.

[Desert_rose]

I'm just so confused at it all. I don't really wantto walk away , but I feel it's my only option . I want to have a home with my partner . And even though I know he loves me I don't think it will happens anytime soon. I don't expect his family to accept me straight away. But I guess he should be trying and make some effort about it? About the moving in problem I know they are only excuses as we both work full time and hold good jobs . When he hang around with his friends he never invites me even for holidays, he always goes with his friends , we have only been on holiday together 2 x therefore I don't know most of his friends. ( we bumped into his friends twice and he chatted to them and never introduced me ) It does make me feel insecure about the whole situation... The reason I think he takes me for granted is because I'm the one trying to make all the effort about seeing each other or planning days out... I just wish he would do the same . X thank you for taking your time to reply

[talaniman]

Stop doing ALL the planning, and ALL the relationship work, and be less available for what he wants if it doesn't fill your needs also. That was my whole point, you doing the work, and he gets the rewards. And 6 years is much to long to be going along with his program, at the expense of your own.

To me, there is just not that much love in the world, to just skate through time and life, and not have what you at least put into this whole exercise, and to hell with all the excuses.

[answerme_tender]

Goodness only six years, why lets give it another year, by then you may really have yourself convenced that he is going to stand up to his family and support YOU. And maybe he will actually give you a commitment and maybe he will act like a REAL boyfriend and proudly introduce you to all his friends.
Its time to have a serious chit chat with yourself about the reality of your so called relationship. You deserve a real grown up man. One that wants a true relationship with meeting parents, introducing you to friends, and who wants to really love YOU!! ---good luck

[Desert_rose]

Thank you for your advice x

[Desert_rose]

Yesterday my Bf went out with his friends and I when to my sisters house to chill with her and some of her friends (chatting and watching a movie) She lives 5 minutes down the road from me.
Once he was done with his friends he called me and asked me if he could come around mine, I say yes.
When he was arriving near my house I asked him if he could pass via my sisters house to pick me up (only 5 minutes walking from my house) as it was midnight and I didn't want to walk back on my own.
He made a big deal about it and said I should walk back that he is not going to pick me up and I am capable of coming home by myself...
Am I right to be upset or am I overreacting? I just think as my boyfriend he could be a gentleman and pick me up from around the corner so we walk home together... Its not that I was an hour away or anything...

[talaniman]

Fair Warning

Is it just me, or did the whole character and writing style of the OP change before my eyes?

Somebody should explain things or be deleted and banned really fast!!!

[Desert_rose]

Tried to post my last question as a new thread but by mistake I added as a reply

[spitvenom]

I do not think you are overacting. But hey at least you found out your boyfriend is not a gentleman.

[Desert_rose]

He called me this morning and said sorry. But I cannot help feeling upset...

[talaniman]

Fair Warning

Is it just me, or did the whole character and writing style of the OP change before my eyes?

Somebody should explain things or be deleted and banned really fast!!!

I was posting from my iPhone and now I'm typing from my laptop :)
Desert_rose : tried to post my last question as a new thread but by mistake I added as a reply

There is no need to post a new thread about the same person and your last post was merged with you first one. Sorry for the miscommunication, but staying with this thread cuts down the confusion for us all.
As to the new problem, add his new behaviors to the negative list of things you don't like about him. More fuel to the fire as I see it.

Why didn't you tell him to just stay with his friends??

[Shadowburn]

So he didn't mind to come over to your place at midnight after spending time with the boys (which you're not allowed to meet after 6 years) for his booty call... but picking you up was too much work. You should've run, not walk at his command, because he wanted some.

I don't think you're taken for granted. It's more like you're taken for a fool.

[Desert_rose]

I should have told him to stay with his friends... I really love him just don't really know what to do about the intire situation. I am soooo confused . I don't see myself without him . It's little things he do that winds me up. I'm not sure if I'm just overreacting because I keep picking on things he do... It used to be great . We never argued before... I don't know if it's my fault for being to demanding about wanting to know what are his plans for our future :(

[Shadowburn]

After 6 years of being together, you're not too demanding or unreasonable wanting to know his plans for the future. You never argued before because it was all very convenient for him - to have you on hold for years with all benefits of relationship while he is not committed to anything. Not even holidays together during 6 years? How did you explain it to your own family?

[BMI]

Really, I doubt you will post any new information here that will alter the opinion of those answering.

It is quite clear that the advice is that it is better to walk away now, your only defence is that you say you love him and can't see yourself without him. If that be case then why complain? Your not going anywhere, he's not likely to change anytime soon, live with it. Alternatively, leave, look in a mirror and viola, you without him.

Good luck with whatever it is you decide to do.

[Desert_rose]

Thank you every one for all the advice x it is really appreciated :).
I guess I have a lot of thinking to do and have to decide to do something with my life...
I will be seeing him on Sunday and I will have a good chat with him .
Ps: Sorry for the misunderstanding with the posts earlier on.. I am new in here and still learning how use this site x x