[roxyR]

Hi.. I am from South Africa and I really need to know why security at every mall I go to follow me I don't steel,I will never do that I pay for what I want,I am honest as they come... but this has been going on for years now and I ask them then they make as I am insane,I even ask the managers at the shops they just smile and say sorry but it is getting worse,I don't even feel like leaving my home,I feel like a criminal and nobody wants to help me... what am I doing wrong I annot even swipe a fly and always helpful to others so why am I follow like closely not even at arms length I am emotionally drained and sometime I feel like giving up.. Anyone out their has answers for me please I need help...

[JudyKayTee]

I don't know why you care, why this bothers you - if they are being obvious, calling attention to you, then contact an Attorney. Yes, I realize you're in South Africa but I can't believe that overt behavior in following you is acceptable.

[cdad]

Sometimes it could be the way you dress and sometimes it can be that you look like someone else. Also some malls have a great amount of security.

[roxyR]

Hi Califdadof3 and JudyKayTee

Look I am a stay at home mom and when I go out I love to dress up as I am mostly in sweat pants etc... I do not know why this is happening asked a lot of people already and no one can give me a reason I even went so far as to loose a lot of weight just so I can wear clothes without pockets and big tops I even take a very small bag with me so where must I put stuff... Maybe I look like someone I don't know but what I do know never ones in my whole life have I even taken anything that was not paid for... Sometimes it feels like every security has a picture of me like be alert for this women and it is playing on my emotions a lot... almost like someone out there has it in for me.. I don't even talk to no one these days just hybby kids and cousin...

About getting a lawayer I will do that,because this must end I cnt live like this anymore even my daughter don't want to go shop with me anymore as it freeks her out,I never told her but she is very witty and mentioned it to me why is that man following us mommy I ask them then they ither ignore me or walk away...

Thanks ladies for replying.. means a lot..

[JudyKayTee]

There is always a possibility that the store security is confusing you with someone else. Have you tried speaking to the OWNERS of the store?

You are obviously upset by all of this and it is changing the way you live your life. I'm sorry for that and you must find a way to end the harassment.

[jenniepepsi]

Roxy, I hope you don't find me rude to ask such a thing, but are you black or white? I know that in south africa, each skin color of person seems to have a great deal of issues with the other. Is the store security of opposite color from you?

[Jake2008]

I know the feeling of 'being watched', as I recently had to deal with an online stalker, and that was bad enough.

But, it is not good business for a store to intimidate or harass a paying customer, just on the assumption that they are potential shoplifters. It is the same thing as being monitored by camera at every traffic intersection, or cameras filming you as you walk down the sidewalk minding your own business. There used to be (at least here in Canada) laws against monitoring people in any way, without due cause.

Somebody shopping, walking along the street, or driving through town should not be subject to undu surveillance, which to me, is an invaison of my privacy.

But, it is the way it is, and I doubt that you are singled out, although it feels like it, and like I said, I have that feeling every time I see a camera. And that's another point. For every security person following you, there are likely 10x the number of cameras anyway- you can just identify him more easily.

They are a presence, because the thinking is that is helping with loss prevention. Even knowing they are there, they think it will stop shop lifting, and I doubt that would stop a serious shoplifter anyway. It really only makes non-theives uncomfortable.

I'm also guessing that if you are a mom shopping, you probably spend a lot of time in the children's department, and those little items are easy to steal. My guess is you wouldn't be followed if you were looking at TV sets, which are hard (but not impossible for some people) to slip into a secret pocket in your skirt.

All I can say to you is, speak directly to the store manager. Tell him that you find their security people to be invaisive and unnerving. As well as intimidating, unnecessary. Ask him why he doesn't just apply a security tag to every single item, instead of hiring people to follow people like you around the store.

Then, I would tell him that you're taking your business elsewhere, and the security guard following you cost him school clothes, shoes, winter coats, new towels, a fridge, and stove, and the loss of every single Christmas present you had planned to purchase there.

Otherwise, try to just accept it as a way of life. We are all watched when we go about our normal business and it bothers me personally to no end. But, my guess is you are watched far more by sources you cannot see, than those you can.