[elizabeth.mary]

I live in California. I stupidly gave my son his father's last name when he was born and we were not married. I would like to give him my maiden name. His father was not present at the time of birth and is not on the birth certificate. Is there anyway that I can change my sons last name without his consent? Or do I still need to try and make contact to let him now I'm trying to get our sons name changed?

Also I've read that the judge will allow a name change if it is good for the child. His bio father has been in and out of prison most of his life. He has attacked me on more than one occasion and right now has warrants out for his arrest because of the last time he tried to attack me. I on the other hand am happily married. My husband is a Marine and we have no problem taking care of my son on our own. I'm just wondering if this presents a good enough case for a name change or not.

[JudyKayTee]

Here is all the info you need, including the appropriate forms - California Courts: Self-Help Center: More Topics: How to Change Your Name: Forms for Use in Name Change and/or Gender Change Cases

It would appear that you need the father's consent UNLESS you can convince the Court that a name change is in the best interest of the child. Your present relationship and financial situation have nothing to do with the name change.

If you can present proof that the father is KNOWN and RECOGNIZED as a convicted felon and this affects the child, then you probably have a good chance at getting permission.

The easy way, of course, is to "simply" get the father's consent. The Court will ask you and I am going to ask you - are you intending to change the child's last name to your maiden name or your married name? If it's your married name the Court could look at this as a quasi-adoption and I don't think you'll get permission.

Has your husband looked into adopting the child - is that an option?

[elizabeth.mary]

I am intending to change his name to my maiden name.

My husband would like to adopt my son, but his bio-father would never consent to that. Even though he doesn't pay attention to or take care of his children he won't give anyone else the joy of being his Dad.

[ScottGem]

I would strongly suggest you consult an attorney. An attorney can tell you what your chances are of getting the bio-father's rights terminated. Given his criminal record and that you have someone willing to adopt, you may get a TPR without consent.

By the way, the joy of being a dad doesn't require adoption or having the same name or any of that. It comes with taking care of being a part of the child's life.

[cdad]

I am intending to change his name to my maiden name.

My husband would like to adopt my son, but his bio-father would never consent to that. Even though he doesn't pay attention to or take care of his children he won't give anyone else the joy of being his Dad.

Do you have a child support order against the bio dad? If not you should. It can make adoptions much easier later ;)

[elizabeth.mary]

"By the way, the joy of being a dad doesn't require adoption or having the same name or any of that. it comes with taking care of being a part of the child's life."

I understand, but I don't want him to feel like he's not apart of the family because of his name. I know it might not matter when he's older but he's still young. My husband loves him like his own, but I'd really like to have him be able to identify himself with our family and not feel like he's different.

[JudyKayTee]

"By the way, the joy of being a dad doesn't require adoption or having the same name or any of that. it comes with taking care of being a part of the child's life."

I understand, but I don't want him to feel like he's not apart of the family because of his name. I know it might not matter when he's older but he's still young. My husband loves him like his own, but I'd really like to have him be able to identify himself with our family and not feel like he's different.

I have 5 stepchildren - we are a family, no matter what our last names are. The different names are not unusual (unfortunately) today.

He may always feel different, particularly if you and your husband have other children - that's what counselling is for.