[endlesslove230]

We are both good students, but I just feel that I am going worst. I can't focus and I usually have memory problems. I don't want to become a bad student nor break up with him. What else can I do?

[Devorameira]

What is it about him that keeps you from focusing or having a good memory?

If you can't study because you run around too much, you should be able to talk to him and tell him when you need to stay home and study and he should understand. If he can't understand that, then he's not worth your time or effort.

[Jake2008]

I agree.

It is about balance, and finding that right mix of maintaining good grades, and maintaining the relationship.

The first thing you might consider doing, is tell him your concerns. If you don't talk to him, eventually you will resent the time you are with him, because you know you should be working on school work.

If you see him five times a week, cut it down to two or three. Set yourself up a schedule to keep to a school timetable, and depending on that- the work load, harder days than others etc. then tell him that you can only see him Tuesday, Saturday and Wednesday, or whatever works around your schedule.

If he understands, as he should, you will have the best of both worlds. If he is resentful and demanding, then I would consider letting him go.

In the long run, your education coming first, has to be a priority.

[Kitkat22]

How old are the two of you?

[talaniman]

Being able to focus on what's in front of you is a good idea, and developing good work ethics, and study habits, is also good skills to learn.

[Dysenchanted]

You just need to realize that you need to balance study time/focus with boyfriend time. I'm sure if he knew you were having trouble with school he'd feel bad.

Maybe one way you can help this situation is study together, as long as you two, together, can focus. Maybe have him help you with your work. It helped me and my boyfriend a lot, even if we didn't know much about eachother's subjects, it made it fun and gave us time together.

But realize that without balance, your relationship will just fall apart.

[endlesslove230]

What is it about him that keeps you from focusing or having a good memory?

If you can't study because you run around too much, you should be able to talk to him and tell him when you need to stay home and study and he should understand. If he can't understand that, then he's not worth your time or effort.

At first I was stressed about time because I have a busy life (I have overtime study and work), then I told him that I cannot go on like this because if I had kept forgoing some hours of sleep my life would have become like hell. He understood and I had a great progress at school, but I feel bad that I asked him not to date anymore. I know that everyone who is in love says that the loved one is the perfect one, but in my case he really is. He is all I've ever wanted and I don't want to miss this chance.

At the moment I have gotten over the stress of time, but when I am studying my thoughts fly at him unconsciously. Afterwards I cannot recall anything and I during test and exams I feel like going crazy that I am not able to write a thing after studying so hard.

So, if I'm right, I think I'd rather need some remedy for being in love. I know that this is a stupid question :o, but I'd love to hear your ideas. Thank you.

[endlesslove230]

How old are the two of you?

We are both 16 years old.

[endlesslove230]

You just need to realize that you need to balance study time/focus with boyfriend time. I'm sure if he knew you were having trouble with school he'd feel bad.

Maybe one way you can help this situation is study together, as long as you two, together, can focus. Maybe have him help you with your work. It helped me and my boyfriend a lot, even if we didn't know much about eachother's subjects, it made it fun and gave us time together.

But realize that without balance, your relationship will just fall apart.

You are right. He did feel bad when hearing that I had trouble with school. We talked about studying together, but he doesn't need to study too much to get good grades (I use to say that he is a little genius). I also thought he could be a kind of teacher to me, but I don't understand the way he teaches me and I'd rather study on my own than annoy both of us. Anyway, we sometime do together some homework, although many time we end contradictorily.

Thank you for suggestions. Maybe we'll find the way to study together, or at least to spend the time smarter while doing something useful for both of us.

[endlesslove230]

I agree.

It is about balance, and finding that right mix of maintaining good grades, and maintaining the relationship.

The first thing you might consider doing, is tell him your concerns. If you don't talk to him, eventually you will resent the time you are with him, because you know you should be working on school work.

If you see him five times a week, cut it down to two or three. Set yourself up a schedule to keep to a school timetable, and depending on that- the work load, harder days than others etc., then tell him that you can only see him Tuesday, Saturday and Wednesday, or whatever works around your schedule.

If he understands, as he should, you will have the best of both worlds. If he is resentful and demanding, then I would consider letting him go.

In the long run, your education coming first, has to be a priority.

We don't date very often. Generally once or twice a week because we spend about seven hours a day at school and we have a lot of homework. Besides, I study overtime foreign languages and other objects that I have trouble with and sometimes I have family matters or different projects. I can hardly manage my free time because it is not that free. Before knowing him I was feeling lonely and hopeless, that's why I got in so many activities. Now it is too late to retire and I wouldn't do it for a guy, even though he seems so perfect. Like you said, education has to be a priority. Thanks.:)

[endlesslove230]

Being able to focus on whats in front of you is a good idea, and developing good work ethics, and study habits, is also good skills to learn.

I am a perfectionist, I admit it. I always like to do do a lot of things and do them good. Would you be so kind to talk to me more about focusing, study habits, skills to learn, please? I think these may help me a lot. Thanks.

[Just Looking]

I was very active in high school, taking honors classes, playing 3 sports, working, volunteering, and had a longterm boyfriend for three of those years. I had to budget my time well. What worked for me was to create schedules where I blocked out time for each of these things. When I studied, I devoted myself to it - no phone calls, no music, no daydreaming.

I followed this process throughout college and my Master's program. Now that I am working, I still schedule things. During my busy season, I can work as many as 60-80 hours a week. I have to schedule my time. I actually make a game of it and enjoy it. I also know how much more productive I am and that makes me feel good.