[mocka]

I've been with my boyfriend 2yrs now an I think he is bi only because when we have sex he like me to play with his butt plus I think I almost caught him with this guy but I made too much noise coming in the house so what I saw was the guy on the couch my man in the room laying on his stomach an I just felt like they were doing something.. how can I really tell if he is bi

[Enigma1999]

Hello Mocka,

First off, just because he likes you to do things with his bottom during love making, doesn't mean he is bi. A lot of people like certain things done to them and to do things to others while making love.

You mentioned that you were with him for 2 years, how long have you felt this way?

Is there any thing else that he has said or done to make you feel this way, other than his friend lying on the couch? Which by the way, could have been innocent.

[Dysenchanted]

You guys have been together for two years and should be rather comfortable with each other, why not just ask him? It could just be your imagination, let him put you at ease.

Also, even if he is bi, is that a problem? Just because he's also attracted to men doesn't really endanger your relationship more than it would if he was just attracted to women. Just a thought.

[Jake2008]

Maybe you did walk in on something, and it seems that you did, as you refer to 'some guy' that was there, so I presume you did not know who he was. Why did you feel the need to alert them that you were there by making noise. Has this happened before?

As the others have said, it could be totally meaningless, or it could be a confirmation of what you suspect, that he is bi.

If he has not been honest about his sexuality (with you, and probably everybody else close to him), you certainly do have a right to know. If you have been with him all this time and he has been living a double life, who is to say he hasn't been sexually active with partners outside the home, and putting you at risk for STD's.

To me, it is more about cheating. If he is bi, and with another man, it is still as bad as him being straight, and with another woman. He's cheating, period.

You need to find out, and the only way you will know, is to sit him down and demand answers. Tell him how you feel, and that you are wondering about his sexuality, and you are not judging him, but you need to know, essentially, who his is, and what he's up to, i.e. having sex with other men.

Anything less will get you nowhere except full of doubt.

[talaniman]

Him enjoying you playing with his butt is no indication of him being bi, or cheating with a guy. I wonder how much of this is YOU assuming, presuming, and chasing a ghost?

Why not just ask him directly if he likes guys, as well as girls?