[Bigdeeno1]

Me and my girlfriend had an argument, we took a short break from each other when we were still together. The argument caused her to flirt with other guys and have sex with them. I don't know about you but that's not something I would do in a relationship, its not normal at all. She said she did it because she was heart broken by me.. and that she didin't know what she was doing. Anyway... Ive put our relationship on hold and told her I'll give her an answer soon. Can she be forgiven for what she did? Ive been told before that if they cheat they will do it again.. I don't know what to do right now.. we still love each other but I need to think of myself at times like this. Please give me some advice.

[Kitkat22]

Stay away from each other. You'll always remember her having sex with someone else. She didn't cheat if you were broken up and when you say "them" is this a rumour or actually something you know?

I think you need to leave her alone and ask her to do the same.
Complete NC.

[CarrotTalker]

The argument didn't cause her to flirt and have sex with other guys, she did that on her own freewill and decision making.

Don't let her place the blame for her bad behavior on you.

How long have you two been dating?

[Eelarch]

You seem quite fustrated at this which is understandable, I agree with kitkat in that you will always remember it and it will wear you down. I would turn the page and start a new chapter.

[Cat1864]

Were you a couple at the time or did this happen while you were on the 'short break'?

It doesn't matter if she can be forgiven. It matters if you can forgive her. From what you have said that is 'no'.

Trying to stay together with doubts, hurt and anger lurking in the shadows would only end up causing more hurt and pain. Don't do that to either one of you.

[Kitkat22]

You are young and there will be many disappointments in your life. There will be someone special in your life someday. This girl is not for you. I think you and she will never have a stable relationship because of the sex with other people. It wasn't cheating, because you weren't together.

People spread rumors and whether they are true or not, they're in your
Head. I don't believe you can forget those rumors. People talk, some of them talk behind your back just to be talking. People who don't even know you may say say horrible things. It hurts but you learn to live with it.

People who want to hurt by being mean and viscous will try to make you miserable if hey can. I know that. In this case you know she had sex with
Someone else.

Next time don't believe the rumors unless you see it with your own eyes. Move on and remember, you have to let this girl go.

[talaniman]

I wouldn't give her the time of day as with some people doing the wrong things, and saying she didn't know what she was doing is a very poor excuse for such behavior.

What's next cheating because her mom takes her cell phone? No way do you get back with her because it just ain't that much love in the world to accept bad behavior, and it wasn't cheating since you were on a short break. That's beside the point.

[silverlining]

It wasn't cheating if you were not together at the time.. But if you feel that now there is no trust anymore then there's no point for you to be together anymore.. Once the trust is broken there's no going back..

[Jake2008]

If she goes out and has sex with other guys because you've had an argument with her, what would she do if you were late for dinner, or fogot her birthday, or didn't pay the phone bill.

In other words, she could potentially add up an entire army of guys because she is so emotionally backwards, she knows no other way of solving problems, except sleeping with random guys. (by the by, perhaps consider getting tested for STD's).

Arguing is, for mature people, a good and healthy way to express yourself. But, it is also an art. It is communicating when you are upset, or angry, without being petty, or accusatory. It isn't a free for all of insults, accusations, and a venue to throw in past arguments, and it isn't blaming the other party for your own behaviour.

So, what you had was not an argument, it was an excuse she created in order to justify sleeping around- with more than one man. Nothing, and I mean nothing, comes close to it being YOUR fault.

I wonder about your maturity, in that you are even considering having a relationship with such a ridiculous girl.

You can do much, much better.

[Enigma1999]

Hello Big,

If it were me, no I wouldn't take her back.

You two had an argument and took a break from each other, is that correct? Notice though how you didn't have sex with women while during this short break.

Here are some reasons I think you two shouldn't get back together,

1. It was an argument to my understanding, not broken up for good, and she slept with others while you were on the break.

2. Lets say up the road you two have another argument, will she do this again? There's no trust.

3. I don't think you will ever be able to forgive her for this, which means you will always have this in the back of your mind, and most likely throw this up to her face.

If I were you, I would also be worried that she might give you an STD.

I guess I'm old fashioned, because of two things, I don't understand how some people use sex as revenge or to fill some void. Also I can't see how some people have sex with random people. I think love making should be between two people who care very deeply for one another. I just don't get it.

Big, this is up to you on how you want to handle it, and I believe you should follow your heart. I don't know this woman, I can't judge, but from what you have told us, you couldn't do that. That shows a lot, it shows you cared for her and her feelings more than she cared for you and yours. Sorry.

You can do better.

And no, that's not normal.