[rxpb66]

My daughter is 14. Her boyfriend is 15. Neither I nor the boy's in- laws financially stable enough to be able to assist in the support of this child. Not to mention I do not want this to affect her education. What can we do?

[Wondergirl]

Perhaps an open adoption where she can keep track of the baby's progress? (I think that's still done.)

Does she realize what keeping the baby will mean and how it will negatively affect her life? What is she saying?

Have any of you met with a social worker? A lawyer?

[Fr_Chuck]

I would assume she will get state aid ( welfare) to help with some of the needs of the child. I do not believe in forcing a girl, ( even 14) in giving up her child. Children are not like puppies that are to be given away. Perhaps support daughter in her choice and start finding ways to make this happen

[ScottGem]

You have no choice in the matter. If she wants to keep the child that his her decision. You can try counseling, having her talk to other teen mothers. Etc.

You could, however, have the father prosecuted for statutory rape.

[Kitkat22]

When that baby is born you will change your mind. The nana and poppy will kick in and you will fall in love with that child. There is nothing like the love you feel for a grandchild. Please stand behind your child. You will always wonder about that grand-baby if you persuade her to give it up.

This child will be a blessing, you wait and see. Do you want to go through your life and wonder on every birthday how the child is doing or how she's being treated? Please keep that baby and I promise you you will never regret it.

[cdad]

And when the baby is born have her apply for child support.

[Kitkat22]

I know right now you're angry and disappointed and you see the dreams you have for her going down the drain. It doesn't have to the end of her dreams or yours.

I would probably want to scream if I were in your shoes. That child did not ask to be brought into the world but it is coming.

Please after the anger and hurt wear off, things will be different.
It's wonderful being a grandma.
You'll see.

[Synnen]

You CAN NOT make this decision for her.

PERIOD.

In all areas regarding her own child, she is considered an emancipated adult. YOU are still responsible for YOUR child until she is 18, but SHE makes decisions regarding HER child.

Choosing adoption, even willingly and with an open mind and heart is EXTREMELY traumatic. I'm still dealing with issues 18 years later stemming from having chosen adoption. I would not force ANYONE that is attempting to care for their child into an adoption situation.

Get counseling. ALL of you. Start helping your daughter apply for state aid. Get a lawyer and file for child support as soon as the child is born. But above all things, STOP thinking that YOU have a voice in your daughter's decision.