[rebecca392]

Just found this on my bookmarks..

So here is an update.

Our 9 will be 10 feb 2.. Has done so many more things...

He is now punching me! Kicking me! Slapping me!
Just to tell him to do homework or clean up his room, he freaks out and wants to hit me. He kicks and punches the walls when I tell him to go to the corner. If I say I am calling his father he screams no and will run over to me and start hitting me.. but the second his father is on the phone he will cry to him, but then the second I hang up with his father he has this crazy look in his eyes as if he wants to hurt me.
Lately he has been hurting our dogs too.

I caught him a few months ago in our old chicken coop.. It is now empty since I don't have chickens anymore.. He was playing outside with younger sister the one that used to be 3,now is almost 5 on oct 8.
I went out making sure they are playing nice many times.. but this last time I went out I couldn't see them...
I ran out looking not thinking they were in an abandoned coop...
Well I heard my dog yelp in pain.. then another dog, then Yet another! I went to see, and my son was kicking them in the face like a kick ball... then it would run he would get another to get close enough to him then kick it repeatedly too.
I freaked. I was like omg.. what are you doing??
He said what he seems to say very often.. 'nothin"

I told him I watched you do this before I stopped you. He denied it. I told him I saw you! He still denied it to my face.
well his dad came home and I told him what our son did to our 3 dogs.. he lied to to father for many hours before admitting it. then he said the reason he did it was because he was mad at me.
I was very upset. for some time now he keeps blaming Me for anything wrong he does.
All he will say is " well I was mad at her.. so that's why I did this that and the other"

But any fool can see that I was being nice letting them play outside.. so how can this be my fault? How can he use the excuse I was mad at her, so I almost killed 3 dogs in front of little sis?

I just don't know what to do with my son. I cannot control him. I told him that it isn't right to punch me or push his little sisters down, or even punch , slap in the face or do wresling moves on big sister.

[ScottGem]

Your post seemingly had nothing to do with the thread you posted it to. First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

It seems clear to me your son needs professional help. Have you gotten him any?

[Jake2008]

Scott is right. There are behaviours here that need to be assessed by a qualified psychiatrist.

There is really nothing else to say. He needs help, immediately.

[Devorameira]

You've got to have a psychological evaluation done on him ASAP to get to the root of his problems. His behavior is both abnormal and not acceptable.

You and his Dad really need to have a united front and should let him know that his behavior will not be tolerated and that there will be consequences for it.

Don't ever allow him to use you or anyone/anything else as a punching bag. If all else fails, talk to your local police department to see if they will help you by pretend "arresting" your child next time he hits you, to try to show him that you will not tolerate the behavior. They can put the cuffs on him and take him to the station for a few hours until he displays remorse and becomes aware that you won't tolerate it.

Remember - He doesn't have to like you or even love you, but he does need to respect you.

[Jake2008]

I just wanted to add that what you are seeing now, is not localized. When he is back in school, he will have difficulty, and what he is showing you now with his behaviour, will only get worse, if you do not deal with it. It won't go away, he won't outgrow it, it will likely increase in frequency and level of violence.

In other words, the longer you complain about it, and do nothing, the worse it will be. You have a responsibility here, to have him assessed.

You feel the need from what I gather, to 'prove' that you are right, to your husband, about the observations. And that you feel your son is playing manipulated games to make you look bad, and himself innocent. Why do you need a stamp of approval from your husband, and why do you keep putting yourself in a subserviant position with no authority. Why do you wrestle with proving a point in other words, when you know exactly what's going on.

Put the 'who's right' and 'who's wrong' aside for now, and simply deal with one thing, and one thing only.

Get the kid help.

[dontknownuthin]

Jake is totally right - I'm out of greenies for her.

When a child starts being violent to animals it's really a major red flag that the child needs help. Being angry at the child or punishing him or threatening him with his father's authority, etc. really aren't going to be adequate in the situation you are describing.

I don't believe there are "bad" kids but there are kids who are out of control and cannot be managed without help. As bad as he's acting, I'd venture to guess he feels 10 times worse than he behaves. He probably doesn't even know why he acts like he does.

We can't tell you how to manage this situation because you can't manage it as a parent without professional help and intervention. If you can't afford it, go to your local county and ask for a referral and they will provide you the service for free in most places. Or go to the school and ask them to help you find resources for your child.

If you are going through a divorce or are divorced, it can be hard to separate what's going on with the kid from that relationship issue but like Jake said, put all that aside. This is a time to rally for this child.

In the meantime, never leave your child unattended with another child even just in another room. Your child is a danger to himself and other kids until he gets some help.