[ozuye21]

I am a closet nudist living at home with my parents. Most of my friends and family have no clue of my lifestyle choices. I have been enjoying nudity for a while now (at least 7 maybe 8 years). I've always woundered what my friends and family thought about the subject. All in all I would love to be more more open with the people I'm close with and I'm not sure how to go about it. Any and all advice would be taken into searous consideration. Thank you.

[Wondergirl]

There are many people who enjoy life being nude. How old are you?

[dontknownuthin]

I know the current take on such things is that we cannot be our "authentic" selves unless we share everything about ourselves of a private nature with all the people we're close with, and then build some kind of mutual acceptance and understanding around these little morsels of honesty. There's a notion that unless people fully know us, they cannot know us at all.

I don't feel that way though. Rather, I guess my feeling is that some things are private because we don't want others to know, and some things are private because others don't want to know. There is value in avoiding making other people uncomfortable.

If you were my family or friend, my feeling would be that I wouldn't want to know about it.

While no one has ever come to me to tell me they are a nudist, my experience of being told this sort of things by people has been that they want to win me over, or for me to come to some great understanding and acceptance of their newfound interest or belief or lifestyle so they can indulge their preference around me openly. If I've resisted or just said, "hey, it's not for me" they often cannot accept that, and begin to either judge me as closed minded or represed, or they begin the recruitment and sales pitch which generally was predicated on the statement, "you don't know what you're missing". I find both approaches really annoying and condescending, so would rather just not be subjected to the discussion at the outset.

I've also noticed in some situations like this that after announcing whatever this lifestyle preference is to me, if I've not jumped on the bandwagon, these individuals have then routinely taken a "like it or lump it" approach toward me.

The specific instances I am thinking of included someone who liked to use marijuana, a person who determined that she believed in herbal medicine exclusively, and a person who found God - apparently a God with all kinds of improved features compared to the God I knew and loved. All three announced these findings to me so that I could "know" them better. All three were unable to accept that I didn't share their passion for these new interests/preferences, nor did I want to. All three were unable to accept that I was going to continue on with my blissful drug-free, traditional doctor, casual semi-Christian life because it suited me, represented what I believed, and was what I simply wanted to do.

And when I did not jump on these various bandwagons, all three of these people took a "like it or lump it" course of action. The marijauna guy started rolling joints in my presence and I could take it or leave it. The herbal person started grilling me and relentlessly criticizing my traditional healthcare choices, and the newfound Jesus lover constantly asked me to pray with her, prayed over me, and referenced God in literally every conversation to the point I felt like I was being recruited into a cult. I ended all three friendships - not because I judged their choices but because they could not respect my choice not to follow their lead. I have a lot of friends who believe things I think are nuts, and vice versa but what makes the friendship work is that we focus on what we have in common and respect each other's right to be a little nuts! As I joke with one friend who's my polar opposite politically, we both respect each other's right to be completely wrong!

So I guess what I would suggest based on these experiences is that you consider why you want to share this with people. Do you want them to accept it so that you can expand your nudity into the time you spend with them? Do you think they should be nude more like you? Do you think that they owe it to you to accept this about you regardless of their own views in order to prove they love and accept you? I would say these are kind of self-serving motivations and if they are what you feel, I'd keep the information private.

On the other hand, if you think they'll enjoy knowing this; or they've raised similar things with you; or if you are going to be their roommate and plan to be nude around the apartment; or if you are going to date them seriously; or if they've specifically asked you about it because they suspect this interest, or if you just have such an open and accepting relationship with this person that you always share things no matter what, then it would be unselfish to share this with them and would be perfectly fine.

Either way, it's good to remember that not everyone needs to know everything about us to have true and full relationships with us. I don't know how much money any of my friends make, don't know how many people any of them have slept with, and have no idea what medications they take. I still know them very, very well. Most of them don't know what kinds of issues I dealt with in my divorce, what grades I got or a lot of other things about me. The more intimate the relationship, the more I share but I don't consider it dishonest that everyone doesn't know everything.

Hope that's helpful in some way.

[slapshot_oi]

Just tell your close friends and family that, on occasion, you like to be naked. I don't think this is going to be earth shattering news. We're all naked under clothes.

[DoulaLC]

Is there a particular reason you feel the need to share this with them? Would their reaction/response make any difference to you or alter what you do? Are you wanting to be able to walk around them in the nude? Would their knowledge and acceptance of this make you feel more comfortable with it yourself?

Unless you are wanting to gain acceptance to walk around them in the nude, what does it matter if they know or not.

I wouldn't think it would need to be an announcement of some sort, you could always just mention it sometime if the subject of nudity came up... perhaps from a television show or movie. "Ya know, I've found I really am comfortable being nude myself much of the time" and leave it at that.

[JudyKayTee]

I think a LOT depends on the age of the OP and the definition of "friends." I'm going on vacation and I obviously need it because this brings to mind the "Should I tell people I'm a vampire?" question.

At any rate this person is a "closet nudist" living with his/her parents. I assume the parents are not aware OP is a nudist so I don't know how much of a nudist this person can be, confined to his/her bedroom.

I'd like to know the definition of closet nudist - the where and when of that as well as the definition of friend. I am very open with my close friends, as they are with me. Not so much with work friends and even less with neighborhood friends.

I think to a certain extent we all are the total of where we've been, what we've done and this may or may not affect a friendship. I personally don't care what anybody does in their spare time as long as they aren't trying to convert me.

[Kitkat22]

Not for me. Different strokes for different folks.