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    Klaipeda's Avatar
    Klaipeda Posts: 203, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Aug 27, 2010, 01:07 PM
    Home after the gym? I don't want to.
    Hi, the guy I date for a month is coming long way to join me for the gym. The gym is near where I live but he has to travel about 2 hours. Shall I take him home after the gym ( me and my daughter just renting the room in the house and other people are living in the same house too)I don't want to take him home. I prefer he heads straight to his place after we had nice time in the gym.. He takes me out and we go to a caffee for a meal.
    Should I take him home for example for a coup of tea or not? He may think that because I live near by the gym I can take him home. And may feel disappointed with me or think that I am greedy or else.

    Thank you a lot
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #2

    Aug 27, 2010, 01:23 PM

    No, not if you don't want to. You are not obligated to do anything. But I would let him know before he makes this trip that he is not going home with you. At least he won't expect anything if he still wants to take the trip.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #3

    Aug 27, 2010, 01:28 PM

    He may feel is disappointed because he may want you to take him home. You can’t control what a person feels.

    You’re in the beginning stages of the relationship start setting up the ground rules and start the open communication now.

    Tell him that you hope that the relationship with get to the point where you can take him home but you are currently not ready for it.

    Just make it clear to him that you don't have any intentions on taking home after your guys workout.

    If he has a problem with this, this relationship is over.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #4

    Aug 27, 2010, 01:54 PM

    You don't ever have to take a guy home if you don't want to.
    You have been dating for a month and he lives that far away, if he wants to drive that far just to go to the Gym with you, that's on him.

    Is this the guy who does not call you and you don't like very much? Why would you think you have to take him home?
    I would ask him if he is sure he wants to drive that far for the gym and then back home. This way he knows you are not wanting him to stay with you.
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
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    #5

    Aug 27, 2010, 02:02 PM

    Never feel obligated because of a date.

    If you take him home, make it his home , and drop him off until you feel ready otherwise.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #6

    Aug 27, 2010, 02:17 PM

    If you need to ask, then don't do it. What's wrong with going for a coffee afterwards instead?
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #7

    Aug 27, 2010, 02:42 PM

    You don't have to take hm home just because he takes you out for a meal.
    Go dutch ( you pay for yours) if it makes you feel better.
    You don't know this guy that well, he does not need to go to your home.
    Klaipeda's Avatar
    Klaipeda Posts: 203, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Aug 27, 2010, 04:25 PM

    Just to let you all know who advised me here: I told him and put things clear about my wish not to take him home as the 'marriedguy' suggested.My date responded straight away,- said he would be very happy to join me for the gym. So THANKS A LOT WITH YOUR ADVICE!:)
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
    		  
    #9

    Aug 27, 2010, 04:38 PM

    Good!
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