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k52595 · Aug 24, 2010, 07:09 PM

Hi.
I am 15 years old and I am curently living with my mom, her fiancé, and 4 of my brothers. My moms fiancé has 2 daughters as well that visit regularly. This is my moms 4th time getting married and they decided to get married only 2 months after they met. My dad died when I was 10 years old due to leukemia. I was planning on living with my dad when I became old enough. But he died before I had that chance. My mom does not allow me to talk to my dads side of the family because she has personal issues against them. For about the past 2 1/2 years my mom has been more focused on herself than me and my little brothers. My mom also has some major anger issues as well. She has thrown things at me multiple times and she has even punched me in the nose and gave me a nose bleed. We live about 2 hours away from any of my other family so it is hard to go to them about things. I have tried to live with my grandparents but she won't allow it. I want to find out more about emancipation. I have a job and my boss is very flexible with my schedule. I have great grades in school and I plan on going to nursing school. I have many friends who would be willing to prove how badly I do not need to live with my mom. She cares more about herself and he boyfriends than her children. I love my mom, but I need to start my life now. When school started this year, she made it very difficult for me to focus and complete my homework at home. School is very important to me and I don't think it is right that my mom, of all people, should stand in the way of that. My mom thinks that I don't know how to make my own decisions. I make them every day. Yes, I've made mistakes but hey what teenager doesn't? I have learned from them though. I know that drugs and alcohol are something many teenagers find fun, or find it as a way to fit in. I on the otherhand think that drugs are something nobody should ever tamper with and alcohol is something you have a right to when you are 21. There are reasons for the law. I made the decision to get on birth control because I know as a teenager you do not need a child. I make plenty of my own decisions and the more I try to talk to my mom the more she shuts me out. Helppp! I need to know if I have a chance of getting emancipated or if I will have to live in this crowded but so lonely situation for the next almost 3 years!
Thank you to all who answer!

Fr_Chuck · Aug 24, 2010, 07:31 PM

What job do you have that pays you enough money to live on your own while you still go to school?

But to be honest I don't see any "need" only desire. You are not abused, you are not neglected at least to the point of no medical care, going hungry and so on.

bleusong52 · Aug 24, 2010, 09:14 PM

Each state has their own rules about emancipation and how it can occur. Start there - research it through the net about your state and then answer the questions.

As Fr. Chuck stated, one the variables is if you are able to sustain yourself without relying on other people. For example, living with another family and having them take care of your board and room.

k52595 · Aug 25, 2010, 06:12 PM

I am a waitress. I make about 1200 dollars a month. And that's on a average month. The most I've made was I think around 1350. And actually I don't think I have been to the doctor since I was a kid. I haven't been to the dentist in who knows how long and did you not see the part about her punching me in the face? Oh and the psycological abuse is horrible. I don't think I've EVER heard my mom say I love you. She calls me a ***** allll the time, cusses me out for not finding her stuff that SHE lost, anything she can complain about always gets put on me. I could do perfectly fine on my own. Of course I would have my friends there for me but I am already pretty independent. I pay for all of my own stuff. I can't even remember the last thing my mom bought me. I work every single day and I buy my own food because I am never home. All I do at my house is sleep and get ready for school or work.

cdad · Aug 25, 2010, 06:39 PM

Do you have someone that can rent you an apartment? You will need your moms permission to move out. You mentioned birth control. You mention that to a judge and its goodbye emancipation. There is at least a 6 month proving time for you to be independent. Also at 15 your lucky to have a job as a waitress. Most places won't hire you until your 16 and 18 for some places. Do they serve adult beverages where you work? Also what State is this in?

ScottGem · Aug 25, 2010, 06:45 PM

Lets deal with the abuse. Is there any documentation of her punching you? Have you been sick and mom didn't take you to a doctor?

I would forget about emancipation, but what you should consider is talking to a guidance counselor at school. You might be able to get yourself placed in a foster care situation.

k52595 · Aug 27, 2010, 02:19 PM

Yes I do. And I thought the whole point of getting emancipated was that you took it to court and a judge decided? I didn't know I had to have my moms permission? I know I'm lucky and I like my job too. There isn't any documentation about it but she has admitted it before. But I'm sure that woulnt do any good. I've never really been sick before. And I don't do couselours. I'm sorry but I've tried and it doesn't help. And foster care is not an option. I want to still live around here so I can be close to my little brothers. My baby brother means the world to me and its going to kill me to leave him with her but out of all of us he's the one I worry about least. For now anyway.

ScottGem · Aug 28, 2010, 04:41 AM

Emancipation is a very difficult thing to come by. You need to prove to a judge that you can live by yourself, support yourself, function on your own, etc. before you could be granted emancipation. Even if your mom gave permission. This is very hard to prove unless you are doing it and you can't do it unless mom allows it. Catch 22!

Most foster care situations would be local.

cdad · Aug 28, 2010, 04:46 AM

Originally Posted by k52595

yes I do. And i thought the whole point of getting emancipated was that u took it to court and a judge decided? I didnt know i had to have my moms permission? I know im lucky and i like my job too. There isnt any documentation about it but she has admitted it before. but im sure that woulnt do any good. ive never really been sick before. And i dont do couselours. im sorry but ive tried and it doesnt help. and foster care is not an option. I want to still live around here so i can be close to my little brothers. My baby brother means the world to me and its going to kill me to leave him with her but out of all of us hes the one i worry about least. for now anyways.

Another thing not mentioned yet. And just so you are aware. In most states emancipation is only a temporary thing and is revocable. So if your granted emancipation it doesn't end there. You must remain on the straight and narrow too. There are certain things you still won't be able to do. Like getting married. Its not as full and complete as you might think but it does afford you the ability to make decisions for yourself and to sign documents in a legal manner.