[michael.ou]

I met this guy 5months ago in a finance class, he is quite experienced, in finance for 10 years, me fresh grad master, so he helped me a lot with my career... we met for lunch 3 times, his city is 2 hours away from mine, so each time he just drove here to see me, I was sort of touched, to be honest. But I don't know what I want from him, nor do I know what he wants from me.

OK, the other day, we had movie and lunch and coffee, and after we hug goodbye, he tried to kiss me, but I just smiled, touched his face softly and walked away... Does he like me? What should I do next? I feel a little nervous when he is around. Maybe because I like him?

[adam_89]

I would definitely say that he likes you and it sounds like you like him as well. How much have you thought about it? How much do you think about him? Do you just find yourself missing him or thinking about him? Could you see yourself being romantically involved with him? Sorry to ask all the questions, but I think if you know the answers then you have your answer here.

[michael.ou]

I would definately say that he likes you and it sounds like you like him as well. How much have you thought about it? How much do you think about him? Do you just find yourself missing him or thinking about him? Could you see yourself being romantically involved with him? Sorry to ask all the questions, but I think if you know the answers then you have your answer here.

Thank you for your response. I think about him a lot... I tried to remember everything he says about himself, his family, or career problems, or even those silly not so funny jokes. But I'm a little scared, he is 11 years older, around 36 maybe, and very experienced - which makes me nervous. Even if I like him, I don't want it to go too fast, how do I know if he is serious or just playing games with me? So confused...

[hheath541]

Have fun. Go on a few dates. See where things lead, before you start worrying about rather or not it could be a long-term thing.

I'm no authority on the male mind, but I don't think most men would drive 2 hours just to have lunch with you, if he didn't honestly like you.

[I wish]

You don't want to outright reject him because that would be telling him to find someone else. You do need to show him that you're interested in getting to know him better by going out on a date again.

If the "kiss" is brought up again, just let him know that you rather take things slow, but still interested in getting to know him better.

[adam_89]

Sorry I missed your post yesterday. Not sure what happened. Anyway, I am sure he does like you, like heath said, I know unless I liked a girl, I wouldn't drive 2 hours to see her.
Hopefully at his age, he wouldn't be trying to fool with someone's emotions like that. I am sure he was just trying to express his feelings for you. Just keep going on the dates if you like him and want something out of it. Keep it slow, if it is meant to be then he will understand.

[Devorameira]

I'd say he definitely likes you. He wouldn't drive 2 hours to have lunch with someone he didn't like.

Maybe you should be up front with him and tell him you'd like to take things slow and easy, but also let him know that you are interested in him and enjoy his company.

[talaniman]

After 5 months and a few dates, some honest communications is in order, like finding out by asking why he drive 2 hours to have lunch with you.

[michael.ou]

Thank you guys! I appreciate it. He did drive 2 hours to see me, but not just for me. The first time was for his buddy's wedding, second was for a friend's baseball tournament. Before meeting his friends, he had lunch and coffee with me, and he even asked me to join him. Of course I refused him. But the third time was especially for lunch and movie with me.

I'm not sure if he likes me because sometimes I text or call him but he doesn't get back with me - saying he's busy with work, or being a little drunk - after 5 bottles of beer. Whatever, I feel a bit uncomfortable with this... a drunk guy...

[adam_89]

If he is a drunk and you have doubts about a relationship then maybe it isn't for the best. Also, I had another thought about the distance you two lived from each other. It is kind of far to make something serious work. Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

[Homegirl 50]

You take things very slowly with this guy.
How often does he get drunk.
Perhaps you didn't kss him back was because you're just not feeling him.

[michael.ou]

Thank you Adam... Yea, he is interviewing for a job in a city 1 hour away, anyway, long distance relationship is hard... and he loves beer so much...

You take things very slowly with this guy.
How often does he get drunk.
Perhaps you didn't kss him back was because you're just not feeling him.

How often? Maybe twice a month, after his golf tournament. I'd love to kiss him back, but I'm just worried about our future, he's way older than me, long distance, drunk, he's into sports I'm not, etc. etc... I'd rather not start than get hurt someday.

[Homegirl 50]

Why does there have to be a future. Just date him for a while for the fun of it. But if something is telling you this may not be a good idea, be a waste of time, listen and don't go out with him anymore.

[I wish]

You're thinking too far into the future. You barely know him.

But if you're looking for a serious relationship, then maybe he's not a good fit for you as you have so many doubts after only 3 dates.

For future reference, if you're hoping to find your soulmate every time you meet a guy, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

For example, if you're not even having fun on the first or second date, then you're not going to have a third or fourth date anyway, so there's no serious relationship to consider anyway.

[adam_89]

You seem to tensed up with him and you should be more relaxed but how are you going to do that with so much time and distance between the two of you. If you want to have fun then, yes, try it. Otherwise, let him go before you do get hurt.

[michael.ou]

Yes. I am looking for a serious relationship, but I do have fun when he is around. So... I guess I'll have to go on a few more dates and then let it happen natually? Is there a rule that people can follow? Like after 3 dates, they kiss? After 5, they have sex? :) I'm second generation Japanese... so, I'm quite traditional.


BTW, he is American.

[Homegirl 50]

Yes. I am looking for a serious relationship, but I do have fun when he is around. So... I guess I'll have to go on a few more dates and then let it happen natually? Is there a rule that people can follow? Like after 3 dates, they kiss? After 5, they have sex? :) I'm second generation Japanese... so, I'm quite traditional.

You don't do anything you don't want to do.
You don't have to kiss him and you certainly don't have to have sex. The only rules are yours.

[adam_89]

Yes, you make the rules. You don't have to do anything. You can wait 5 months if you want to have sex. The longer you wait to have sex, the more the guy will want it, but if he waits then he is doing it for a right reason.

[talaniman]

First off young lady, stop being intimidated because he is older and more experienced. When you stop holding him in such awe, then he has no power over you, and he is just a guy. And what woman ever lets a guy dictate to her what she does and when?

There are no rules but yours, and there can be NOTHING without your permission. It is you who have the power, so use it wisely.

[michael.ou]

Thanks guys! We are dating tonight and this weekend, I'll keep you guys posted... I feel nervous because we don't have a lot in common, I don't know what to talk with him - not just because he's older and experienced.