[lila47]

Please answer, I'm heartbroken and I need advice :( I'm 20 years old and was with a guy for 3 years, he broke up with me may 2009 as we had started fighting over stupid things... I agreed as we had had a few big fights over nothing.he said he didn't want to be friends as it would be 2 hard.he started seeing someone else so I decided to go away for the summer as I couldn't handle seeing them and needed time to myself.when I got back in late August,he contacted me saying how sorry he was for breaking up with me and how he should have put me first and eventually we became friends again. It was lik nothing had happened, we were madly in love again. Then in November he moved 4hrs away for college and ended it again... I was crushed. In march,when we were both seeing other people,he got in touch as he had left college and moved home.he wanted to meet, I agreed after a while and we had an amazing time.he ended it with the other girl straight away, and I ended it with the guy I was seeing. No one makes me feel like my ex does. He's my best friend and we have SO much fun and I trust him completely but in may he ended it AGAIN as I was going away for six weeks... he said he wanted to cut contact and we did. When I got home a few weeks ago he called and again... back seeing each other. Its great, I love him and trust him,he's sweet to me and I know he loves me but I can't shake the feeling that he'll end it again. He's going back to college in 2 weeks and I fear he'll end it again... since breaking up last may we have been ''exclusive'' but never ''official''... iv tried talking to him about it but he shrugs it off and says he loves me but that he never wants to fight like we did last year. But the whole on/off thing of last year has made me paranoid about how he feels, I'm not a self conscious person but suddenly I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm convinced ill lose him. I want to be with him but after a year I want an official relationship... but I feel like saying that is forcing him. When I mention it, he pulls away. I don't know what to do. He's moving in 2weeks and I really don't know what to do. How can I get over my fear of losing him? And how can I tell of he really wants me? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks :(

[talaniman]

That's been his pattern all along so why should he change it because when he gets back, you take him back. Always did, and always will. He knows that.

[loveless044]

I agree with talaniman

[lila47]

That's true. What can I do to change this pattern? I love him but don't feel that I'm getting the respect I deserve.

[talaniman]

Don't get back together and leave him alone long enough for you to get a better perspective. A guy that makes you feel the way he does, may not be a good partner, but you won't figure it out until you get beyond your own feelings and see you don't have to put up with this treatment.

I know its hard, and scary, But if you try it will get better, and you can find yourself without his confusion, and recognize how unhealthy this relationship is and get a life that makes you happy, and attract a better partner to share it with.

[lila47]

Thank you, I appreciate the advice