[rol]

Ha ha WAP , EXACTLY this site is fab!
I would be having a breakdown by now also as I would have been having a lovely strange friends situation with my ex by now if it was not for here!! (to which I am very thankful to all!! )

[wap]

I could see where you were coming from though. It would be good to be on at least OK terms with my ex because of work etc. If I ever have to call him for a job or something. Instead though, I don't know where I stand if we were to meet etc. Whether he would speak to me or what.

[JDOP]

If she plays games just tell her to stop playing games. If she continues, ignore her.

[onlineguy]

If she plays games just tell her to stop playing games. If she continues, ignore her.

Your right, that is all I can do. There is one thing with trying to make amends, trying to get feeling back and / or being friendly but it is a totally different thing to be made a fool of. That is not acceptable ? I would lose all respect as well as all self respect !

I now must wait till she contact me, because if I contact her I will give her the wrong impression of the man that I am.

Its Funny, I did the needy obsesive ex, which pushed her farther away. I have tried to be the guy I was who she met, but playing games is actually pushing me away !

Funny things feelings, I guess the only true way is complete openness about what each person wants. How to achieve that with clearly a very imature person is beyond me !

Oh to be a Vulcan!. lol.

[rol]

<<How to achieve that with clearly a very imature person is beyond me !
>>

Yeah , go and find a mature one, this one sounds very childish.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I agree with all of your other responses onlineguy and I have followed your threads closely. Based on what you have wrote, I think she is very immature and also somewhat insecure. This is proven by the fact that she feels the need to play emotional games with you. She in some way projects her own insecurities onto you by playing mind games and tries to control you by treating you in this way when she knows for a fact that this could only hurt you more. I'm not a psychologist but it does not take a genius to work out that she is manipulating you (or ate least trying to) and you must prevent her from doing that.

I would ignore her now and begin your healing. I appreciate you might be a little behind after all this and I know this will be hard for you. You could find so much better, especially in terms of maturity.

[talaniman]

NO CONTACT! IGNORE HER PERIOD!!!Takes two to play games dude.

[talaniman]

Real simple walk away don't look back!

[onlineguy]

Based on what you have wrote, I think she is very immature and also somewhat insecure. This is proven by the fact that she feels the need to play emotional games with you. She in some way projects her own insecurities onto you by playing mind games and trys to control you by treating you in this way when she knows for a fact that this could only hurt you more. I'm not a psychologist but it does not take a genius to work out that she is manipulating you (or ate least trying to) and you must prevent her from doing that..

You are totally spot on, I am on the computer now, logged into msn. She logs in and then goes onto busy, so I know she is there but I cannot contact her.? If she did not want me to know she is there, she just did not need to log in... Mind Games.

I signed out ! ( I am totally gobsmacked by this behaviour),:eek:

[talaniman]

Your running yourself crazy dude let it go.

[onlineguy]

Your running yourself crazy dude let it go.

Your right, enough is enough! She has crossed the line, that is just acting in a way that will hurt me, not in a way that will resolve our situation and bring us closer together.

There is nowhere left for me to go here but away!

So much for trying to get her back... lol. Lest this be a lesson to you all ! Lol:mad:

[onlineguy]

No contact, completely now. Don't have an option, or I will be a fool over her. "Cathy's Clown"!!

[Skell]

You say you can't get her to talk about anything...

Neither of you are talking. You are TYPING. How the hell can you have a relationship and talk about serious issues on MSN.

Lose the MSN in future and talk on the phone or in person.

You are both playing stupid games with one another and it is very immature. As Tal said, it takes two to play games. Your as willing a particiapant as she is so as much at fault.

Time to ignore her completely!

[onlineguy]

Hi guys, I am moving on from a bad relationship breakup. I have been talking to some girls and asked them out. But I get a reply like not this week or ask me out in a couple of weeks.

This feels like I am being played and that there is someone else in the wings who they really want !

What's your take on this. I don't want to be made a fool of.

I mean when a guy askes a girl out he is esentialy putting himself on the line and showing her she is of value to him, this gives her a lot of power over him and no one likes rejection.

Is there a way to do this without being in that possible lower value position?

Or is it best to be friendly and see if she initiates first??

[Nosnosna]

Try asking again in a couple of weeks.

It's possible they're just not interested, and don't want to give you a flat rejection... some people make non-committal answers to spare feelings, or just because they don't like saying no. It's not a matter of being played.

Any time you ask anyone for anything, you put them in a position of power. Doesn't matter whether it's a date or a job or the time, they always have something you want. There's no way to avoid that without just deciding not to ask for anything ever again... not a good choice.

If you want to date a girl, ask. Otherwise, you end up not knowing whether she would have gone out with you... it's possible that she just doesn't ask guys out, no matter what. The worst thing that happens is you get a no... and that's not a big deal, really, unless you've got some emotion invested in the idea of dating this girl before it happens. And if you have that, then you need to start asking girls out more quick or getting emotionally involved slower.

[chuff]

Hi guys, I am moving on from a bad relationship breakup. I have been talking to some girls and asked them out. But I get a reply like not this week or ask me out in a couple of weeks.

I think those thre lines for me say it all that might be wrong. First, how long ago was the break up? If it was recently maybe your still getting over it and the girls sense this. When it comes to emotions girls can sense a guys feelings, sometimes better than he can. Woman are emotional and as a result can pick up on someone who is hurting.

Perhaps they are interested in you but not in your current emotional state. They don't want to be the rebound. That's my take.

If I were you I wouldn't bring it up again with the girls and let her approach you. When she does if she says something like, "Do you still want to get together?" Answer her JOKINGLY with "oh you think your ready for me?" That shows you've got a sense of humor and turns it around that you were the one ready and she had to get her nerve up. Like she had to prepare.

But all that being said, are you ready to date yet? If it's still too soon then wait, because you don't want to get caught in a cycle spinning downwards.

[talaniman]

As I remember you and your girl had just broken up A month or two ago, and maybe you aren't ready as you think to get back in the hunt. But I will tell you an old player secret. Some guys always get the girl and why? Because the keep asking until they get one to say yes. They are successful because of one thing, they have no fear of rejection. They may get 100 no's before they find that yes. Have some confidence in yourself and and learn to be happy and love yourself.

[onlineguy]

Too many similar questions. Multiple threads merged.

I read somewhere that unlike guys who are very visual and go for looks, then personality. Women on the other hand are more atracted to a guys personality than his looks ?

So a question for the femails out there, is this true ?

Also we all like to be found atractive by the opposite sex, it makes us feel good. But we want to be desired / attactive to someone who is of value to us.

In the case of guys a good looking girl with a good friendly nice personality.

But in the case of women, what traits are considered to be of value to a girl, so that she will want the guy to find her attractive and see him as a boyfriend prospect. As opposed to just a nice guy ? What makes him more of value to her than anyone else ?

[curlybenswife]

Ok I think this just depends on the person and there values, I certainly do not find looks the first thing on my list it helps yes but its not the b all and end all if you know what I mean.

I am not denying that looks help but I've found very few men that are really pleasing to look at with amazing personalities this also relates to females, that's not to say they aren't out there mind you I don't think I've ever had a guy that spends more time in the bathroom than me that would just be kind of worrying.

Personality is important and a lot further up my list that's for sure heck why would you want to spend time with someone if you can't have a decent conversation its not like you can spend the hours of a date just looking at each other giggle.

But we are all different and we all have qaulitys that others don't but that's just life if we were all same would'nt it be as dull as hell.

[rol]

For me I would say some kind of humour is important. Maybe its number 1.
Some confidence also, and someone who does not try to rush things who takes it easy, but is not afraid to pursue. This is important , some guys can talk and be nice but you know they are afraid to ask for a date.thats a bit of a turnoff.
Someone who can have a good converation with you about life and experiences.
Intelligence for me is also important.
And someone sweet and nice but not too nice ;-) its all a kind of balance really.
That's all ;-))