[pandead]

I've been here for almost a year now and I don't know if it's against the forum rules so maybe this post will be removed - and if it is, I apologize in advance.

For those who are on their way to healing, everything seems harder. Most of the time getting out of the bed is a torture, especially at the beginning. There is a whole other part of the breakup though, being "alone"... Meeting your friends, sitting around the table with Jim and Sarah, Mike and Amy, Jason and Susan... Trying to get used to it, act like it's normal. Turning your head when a couple kiss in the car next to yours, praying for the red light to turn green. It's not easy. Sometimes you have to turn around to go to an empty parking lot just so no one will see you cry in your car.

People leave empty spots in our lives when they leave. Spots most of us try to fill with other things -and fast- but for others, it IS okay to be alone, just a little harder when you didn't learn how to enjoy it.

I watched this today. Ironically, my ex sent it to me. Maybe it will inspire some like it inspired me and hope you enjoy it.

Edit : link --> www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs

[kctiger]

You have to learn to be happy with yourself. It is almost like riding a bike after a break up. You forget sometimes how to do this. We weren't born with a significant other. We may be social by nature, but we don't need anyone to satisfy our own personal happiness.

I have a LOT of friends with girlfriends and I couldn't care less. I have the confidence and faith to know that I am on the right track, doing good things, having fun and building a life that I enjoy (notice I said "I"). When the time comes, I will have a girlfriend, but until then, I will still enjoy all the times I have, alone or otherwise.

[QLP]

Lovely poem.

[Jake2008]

Being alone is not the same for everybody. There were some good suggestions in the book, but I can't see myself being too comfortable going to a bar to dance, by myself, or getting dressed up and going to a fine dining establishment and having a nice meal for one. Some might be a little to shy, like me, to put themselves 'out there'.

But, the very first frame of that video, the newly single woman was writing in a diary. That is good therapy. Helps put the confusing thoughts to rest, and gives some perspective on why things happened (all to easy to forget the reasons for the breakup, and think you've made a huge mistake, or that things weren't as bad as they seemed).

If you have a busy life, like most of us do, trying to get time alone, even when you are alone, isn't always as easy as the video makes it out to be. There is still the mundane- going to work, paying bills, getting the laundry done, changing the litter. Try to set aside an hour a day, and mark on the calendar what you are going to do- for you. Even a 1/2 hour walk when you don't want to, will help keep the cobwebs at bay. Gradually add things as you feel more confident and comfortable taking on activities that used to be done as a couple.

One day at a time.

[redhed35]

Those couples you see kissing have there ups and downs too.

And not every couple have the happy ever after.

There's a great stickie on how to be single and the best and worst of being a couple and single.

(once I find it ill post a link)

At the end of the day,for me anyway,being on my own outweighed the heartache of being with the wrong guy.

I love a journal idea,writing is a great way to purge and gives a good perspective to look back on.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...le-335663.html

Found it,I had an idea it was KC's thread.