[mammaleta]

I read some comments on here. There is a young man asking about signing his rights away. Instead of people trying to find the best way to handle it they are trying to make him do something he is not ready 4. Hes being honest.With that in mind how again is this good for any child? Y make someone be something they 1 don't want to be and 2 they are not ready? If a pregnant women has the choice to keep, adopt or abort why doesn't the father have a choice? A lot of women use baby's as a control tool. And look at the out come children that have no real parents or love and left for the state 2 pay for? Y have to take a test to drive, get a diploma, etc. but just anyone can have kids? What's wrong with all of u? Abortion may not work 4 everyone. I am a single mom of 2 and took my choice and worked hard to raise my kids because there dad was honest enough to say they weren't ready. I respected that and raised my 2 on my own 2 jobs night school etc. I never bagged on him 4 not being ready and tried to make him feel like **** because I decided to keep the baby, so why are you all? If a man isn't ready for baby the baby isn't ready to be shuffled around. Get a clue everyone these women aren't innocent. Here's one for all you haters how about my son 16, his girlfriend poked holes in the condom before hand now she's pregnant and is using the baby to try to make him quit school... wake up America these fathers should have a say toooo, not just get locked down with a physco for the next 21 yrs... If u haven't walked in these shoes don't be rude and pop off because you think you have the answers... MEN SHOULD HAVE JUST AS MUCH SAY ABOUT PREGNANCY AS THESE WOMEN!!

[aimee_tt]

You son has just as much say as the female did when he had sex with her.

Your Son could have provided his own condom which he knew wasn't tampered with.

Your son had sex knowing that she COULD fall pregnant. If he isn't ready for a child he should not have had sex.

Yes she did the wrong thing by breaking the condom but that doesn't take away his responsibility. He did the deed now its time to take responsibility.

As for quitting school she can't make him do that. In fact she should be wanting to get an education to get a good job and be able to take care of his child.

If he wants nothing to do with the baby then that's fine his loss. But he will have to pay child support Maybe not now seeing as he is young but in the future when he works.

[answerme_tender]

If we as society wasn't easily accepting of all these childrent being born without acceptance from fathers either by financial or emotional support perhaps we could go back to it not being so openly accepted for girls to yes to all these potential fathers!! These is just a simply answer where no individual is to blame, but all of us.

[JudyKayTee]

If we as society wasnt easily accepting of all these childrent being born without acceptance from fathers either by financial or emotional support perhaps we could go back to it not being so openly accepted for girls to yes to all these potential fathers!!! These is just a simply answer where no individual is to blame, but all of us.

I must disagree - we are not "all" accepting of these situations. Accidents happen, I think everyone knows that. That doesn't mean people are accepting. When it's a family member and the choice is disown the child or turn your back on the grandchild (or whatever the relationship is) there is no easy answer.

Does anyone discuss birth control with children any more? Do all parents wear blinders? Walk over to the legal threads and count the problems with unwed parents, out of wedlock children.

I don't see an answer to how the rest of society feels or reacts. What is your solution? I think everyone criticizes but no one has an answer.

[answerme_tender]

We as a society in fact have allowed this to be accepted event. If we would have never been so accepting of teenage pregnancy or out of wedlock pregnancy, we would not having such an epidemic of unwed mothers in our society. Our children regard sex as something not to worry about, why because we have made it into something they get to watch on TV its put in their faces till they are so use to seeing it, that its just not that big a deal.

[JudyKayTee]

We as a society in fact have allowed this to be accepted event. If we would of never been so accepting of teenage pregnancy or out of wedlock pregnancy, we would not having such an epidemic of unwed mothers in our society. Our children reguard sex as something not to worry about, why because we have made it into something they get to watch on TV its put in their faces till they are so use to seeing it, that its just not that big a deal.

I agree that some people are accepting; many are not. Again, what is your solution?

I can only think of more birth control education, parents having more control over their children (which is impossible unless you chain your children to them), maybe PARENTS being responsible for children their children bring into the World (also highly questionable), more abortions, monitoring TV (again, unless you chain your children to you... )

This is fodder for a discussion thread but I only see questions here and no answers.

[dontknownuthin]

I guess my feeling is that when a person has sex they do so at their peril. We are completely responsible for whether we create children. Other people can poke holes in condoms, lie about birth control or sexually transmitted diseases, claim to be infertile and on and on - it does not make us less responsible for our own decisions and actions. So if a man has sex, he needs to understand he's accepting responsibility for a potential child resulting from that encounter. If a woman has sex, same thing - the guy could have poked a hole, or lied about a vasectomy or venereal disease.

Once the child is here, it's pretty silly to quibble over who's fault it is. The child deserves care, and it is the responsibility of both parents.

I mean, once we're young teenagers, we pretty much know what results in babies - if we take all the steps to make a baby, it seems we should expect - well, a baby - to result.

[ScottGem]

I've moved this to this forum because it's a discussion not a question.

First, to Mammaleta. I totally disagree with you. That when a male engages in sexual intercourse with a female, he risks getting her pregnant. By doing so, he takes a responsibility for the consequences of his actions. If he was not ready to have a child then he shouldn't have had sexual intercourse! It's that simple. If he is not ready to be a father, he doesn't have to be, but he DOES have a responsibility to support that child. That's the consequences of his actions.

Also we are not haters here. I don't even have a clue where you get that. But the question about whether a father can relinquish his rights is a LEGAL question. The fact is that the LAW doesn't allow it. So its not a matter of the best solution, it's a matter of what the law allows.

Finally, this site does not allow chat speak. We type in full words and sentences here. We also try to be civil and respectful of others.

To answerme_tender
Yes, there has been a huge change in the attitude towards unwed mothers in the world, not only the US. But it has not been as radical as you think. While unwed mothers are not shunned as they once were, they are also not let totally off the hook.

Ostracizing the mother is not a viable answer either. That's not fair to the child who is the innocent here. I don't claim to have a solution, but the situation is not as black and white as you paint it.

[cdad]

I agree that some people are accepting; many are not. Again, what is your solution?

I can only think of more birth control education, parents having more control over their children (which is impossible unless you chain your children to them), maybe PARENTS being responsible for children their children bring into the World (also highly questionable), more abortions, monitoring TV (again, unless you chain your children to you ...)

This is fodder for a discussion thread but I only see questions here and no answers.

Here is an answer. And its pretty hard nosed. What society needs is to stop celebrating out of wedlock children. You even see it in many churches today. How many baby showers have we been invited to that were out of wedlock babies?

Im not saying to not be there to support and nurture the child. If someone wants to give then by all means give privately. Support as you would in a natural fashion. But when you celebrate these events your setting an example for those that are up and coming. They (the surrounding children) see these events and with the party atmosphere it brings.

Parenthood today is confusing enough with drop off babies that are unwanted and with all the courts having their say in every matter and aspect. Comunication has broken down to texting rather then hand written communication. Look at how the Op struggled through the initial question / commentary.

I say a solution is to stop the celebration. Continue education at appropriate levels and parental supervision for anyone wanting to date below the age of consent. I applaud all the hard working parents no matter what status they entered into becoming a parent. But lets not take the easy road. Since when is it so wrong to point out that someone isn't doing the right thing.

OK, off my soap box.