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hodja007 · Aug 14, 2010, 02:22 AM

Hello all,
I'm a new manager at my job, I like my job and want to work for a long time. I have got in a odd relationship with one of my works and she is the only female at my job. We have had sex relationship and that did not work out and we have only been friends for some time now and still hang out after work. Now People at my job and talking and opening asking me if I'm having sex with her or not. I tell them no because we are not now. I do not know what is the best thing to do. I think that soon my boss will ask me about this. I do not know if it will be better to go tell him and I do not know how to act then someone ask me about it. I hope this does not kill my career so should I look for a new job. If has been in something like this I would like to know how it worked out for them and what is that best thing to do.She does not want anyone to know and is willing to back me up with what I want to do ( sorry about the spelling)

J_9 · Aug 14, 2010, 02:45 AM

Simply tell them that your life outside of work is your business, not theirs.

Devorameira · Aug 14, 2010, 02:51 PM

Does this girl work for you? IF she does it's really not good for you to be "after work friends." A manager needs to be able to treat all of his/her employees equally and judge them on their work. When you are "after work friends" it ends up that the manager shows favortism toward that employee.

You might be wise to discuss this situation with your manager before it catches up with you. You don't have to disclose the intimate details of the relationship, but make him aware that you were seeing her at one point in time. At least then he will be aware of a past relationship and you won't be caught with your pants down.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 14, 2010, 03:31 PM

Yes, in no way should a past lover be working under you. ( no pun intended) The issue here is that a manager will destroy their career by sleeping with anyone that works under them most of the time.

So if this affair took place while you were a manager and they work for you, they need to be transferred somewhere else. And hope this will not stop your future at that company.

If other employees are talking , so is higher up management

I wish · Aug 16, 2010, 06:37 AM

That's why office romance can get very awkward if things don't work out.

Why are people inquiring you about your love life? Tell them that you are not romantically involved and that they should just get back to work. If anything, you should be the one going to your manager telling him/her that these people are being nosy and not focusing on work.