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loveless044 · Aug 15, 2010, 11:45 AM

Hello,
I'm a 17 year old female and I have a 16 year old boyfriend. He has family that lives in other states like Texas and he never really sees them. Since we've been together he's seen them once. We've been dating about 6 months and they las visited a month ago. When they came to town to visit, I couldn't get any time with him. I understood that they would be in town for a couple weeks and he'd be spending a lot of time with him, but he completely dropped me. Or at least that's the way it felt to me. After they arrived he went to stay those two weeks with them at his uncle's house and he wouldn't call me or text me. Whenever I texted him he'd talk to me for five minutes and his cousin would tell him to "come play the video game" and he'd rush me off the phone and go do that for hours. I was used to hearing from him before I went to bed and when I wake up in the morning. It just wasn't working for me to not hear from him at all.

One night he and his cousin were playing the video game and his cousin stopped playing to talk to his girlfriend on the phone and instead of my boyfriend making him get off the phone with his girl (like he would do to us) he'd text me and tell me to call him. Then when his cousin is done talking to her he'd come kick us off the phone. I told him it was wrong. If all they're doing is playing a video game then why can't he at least text me. And he usually has the volume on his phone turned up. He kept it on vibrate and kept it put away while he was with them like he just didn't want me talking to him. He always said I was really the only one who texted him and called him which obviously meant he was trying to keep only me from talking to him.

Then he suddenly breaks up with me! But through the entire break up (which was the break up I mentioned in my first post) he acted like he made a terrible decision (just read the first post to get the details on that break up)... finally his cousin leaves town and then he calls me and wants to get back together (that was also explained in my first post)... basically he said that he wanted to fix things, he missed me, he was being stupid, blah blah blah

... Then my cousin, who plays football with my boyfriend, tells me that my boyfriend told him that we were no longer together because he was trying to spend time with his cousin and I didn't want him to. Which I feel was a lie because he was trying to ignore me completely just because his cousin came to town.

I was okay with sharing him but just not having him aruound completely for two whole weeks was ridiculous. That's plenty of time to forget I even had a boyfriend and start working on a new one. Yeah yeah yeah I know he's only going to see them for two weeks and then see me forever after that but seriously, I'm his girlfriend. I do still exist

Was I wrong for wanting SOME of my boyfriend's time. Or was he wrong for wanting to give ALL of his time to his cousin?

talaniman · Aug 16, 2010, 08:40 AM

Your both wrong, and maybe to young to be able to make adjustments to different situations. For sure you work lousy together and cannot communicate enough to reach solutions, so you have conflicts.

Before you do this again, talk and see if you can compromise, and forgive.

loveless044 · Aug 16, 2010, 08:47 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Your both wrong, and maybe to young to be able to make adjustments to different situations. For sure you work lousy together and cannot communicate enough to reach solutions, so you have conflicts.

Before you do this again, talk and see if you can compromise, and forgive.

Well what can I do to strengthen our communication? Because I really want us to be able to fix problems a little better.

talaniman · Aug 16, 2010, 11:15 AM

How about talking honestly, and being a good understanding listener. Think of what you say, and how you say it, before you actually say it.

Shaydie · Aug 17, 2010, 01:54 PM

This is why people say teenagers are not equipped to deal with relationships. Sometimes when your boyfriend has family around him you have to take a step back, be strong and not so needy. You should have gone on with your life while he was living his. Now you see what can happen.
If you had not been so pushy he probably would have made a point to get in touch with you. He could have handled it better with more tact. You are not wrong to be hurt, but you should think how you would feel if you were in his place.

loveless044 · Aug 18, 2010, 02:02 PM

but you should think how you would feel if you were in his place.

That's the point. I have been in his place in this same situation on more than one occation both before and since he did it to me and not once did I neglect him.

This is why people say teenagers are not equipped to deal with relationships

That's very stereotypical. Not all teens are, and though I may be one of them in situations such as this, at least I'm trying to get a better understanding because a lot of adults can be the same especially if they don't take the initiative to learn how to deal with these and other kinds of issues.

If you had not been so pushy he probably would have made a point to get in touch with you

If he didn't get in touch with me for nearly a week, I do believe it was in my best interest to bring it to his attention that something was wrong.