[charlieebabiee]

The other day I was at a party when my then boyfriend decided to walk up to me and hit me of course I was taken aback by this and was so upset I walked away and my best friend followed me to see if I was OK he came back to my house with me. We sat talking for a while and then decided to watch a movie. We were laid on my bed and he gave me a hug. I was so upset I started crying so he looked into my eyes and we kissed one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. The next morning I felt so guilty he has a girlfriend who is really nice. But every time I see him I want to kiss him I no I can't but I've got really strong feelings for him.

What do I do??
Please no mean answers I'm really confused right now
Thank you xx

[Kitkat22]

How old are you and this boy? Why were you hit?

[charlieebabiee]

We are all 17 which is past the legal age in the uk. He has hit me more than once I don't no why he did it to be honesy.

[88sunflower]

I think the first thing to be concerned about is your boyfriend and his violence against you. Why are you with him and you stay with him even though he hits you? You need to settle that first. You need to get away from that situation before he seriously hurts you. Are there marks? Don't your parents question this and do they know? You need to tell them.

As far as sleeping with your friend, that was a mistake. Its terrible that it happened but now you need to leave him alone. Let him make the choice if he likes you or not. Even so if he does like you he needs to end what he has before he continues on with you.

I think you may feel drawn to him because he was almost like your knight in shining armor at that time. You had a terrible situation happen and he was there and supported you. In my opinion I think the sex just is making you feel this way short term. If you didn't have sex how would you feel about him?

[Kitkat22]

Tell your parents about the hitting and I hope you know what the consequences could be for unprotected sex.

[charlieebabiee]

It wasn't unprotected. And my parents don't no about the hitting.

[Kitkat22]

it wasnt unprotected. n my parents dnt no about the hitting.

Okay, we're glad you came here but you aren't allowed to use text speak.
You need to tell your parents.

[charlieebabiee]

I don't no how to begin to tell them that they are going to be so dissapointed that I never told them in the first place.

[Kitkat22]

i dont no how to begin to tell them that they are going to be so dissapointed that i never told them in the first place.

Parent's do not stop loving their children because of a mistake. They may be disappointed but the love far outweighs that. Try it and see...

[charlieebabiee]

OK ill try it. Thank you

[Kitkat22]

ok ill try it. thank you

Please let us know.. I know what I'm talking about. I was your age at one time in my life and I have grown children there were times I could have kicked their tails... but I never stopped loving them.:)

[FoxCash]

Why would you stay with someone who has hit you? It doesn't matter how many times it has happened because it should NEVER happen. And when it does you should never stay with someone like that.

As for your friend who comforted you, I agree with the other poster you need to leave him alone. More importantly, you need to stay away from dating for a while and work on yourself instead of jumping from one comfort zone to the next and one guy to the next.

You stayed with someone who is abusive to you. Don't you realize you deserve better than that? Show some respect for yourself. You are worth way more than you are allowing for yourself. If you continue on this path things will only get worse and only get harder for you.

At 17, a life like that is too young for you. Stay away from dating, stay away from the friend that comforted you. I know you have feelings for him but you just need to work on yourself right now. Gain confidence in yourself, gain respect. Gain strength in yourself so that if you are ever in a situation again where someone who claims to care about you hits you you stand up and say no more. Not stay in it.

Please, tell your parents. They will not be disappointed. They are there to protect you and help you. They are there to raise you, let them. We all make mistakes in life but the difference is in how you handle them. Utilize the resources you have at home to handle the situation you have going on right now.

[DoulaLC]

Agree wholeheartedly with the others. Just to add regarding your "best friend"... I would think twice about him as a best friend. He took advantage of the situation. Not that you didn't have a choice in the matter however. As you already said, you made a poor decision as well.
Consider also his character. He has a girlfriend and yet he had sex with you. Is that the sort of guy you would want for a boyfriend... someone you couldn't trust?

Take time to be alone for awhile... spend time with your girlfriends and family. Avoid getting serious with another guy until you are sure you are going to be treated as you should be.

[Kitkat22]

When I was your age I wouldn't have thought about having sex.

It was a different time and most girls waited until they were married. I'm not judging you by no means but don't let it happen again. You are better then that.

Abuse from a boyfriend is the same as it is when you are married
To an abuser.

I went through that abuse with my first husband and it didn't stop so I left.

Abusers do not change. I do believe that. Whether he is your best friend or your boyfriend it won't change.

If you tell your parents, they'll know how to handle it.

[talaniman]

Listen to the others if you want your confusion to end. Even this so called friend is cheating on his g/f to have sex with you, and that is also a form of abuse, by taking advantage of you.

I think deep down you know this, and need some family, and real friends to support you, not false friends who take advantage of your weakness. Leave the guys alone as your choices in who you give your heart, and body to, is not that great.

[martinizing2]

Never let someone abuse and disrespect you.
You deserve to be treated like a lady not a punching bag.

And someone who takes advantage of you while in an emotionally compromised state , is someone that is selfish, self-centered and disrespected you by taking advantage of the situation.
Kick him to the curb with the coward who hit you.

I wish you well

[IWantToHelp]

To be honest I don't think that you're going to tell your parents. What I think you should do is talk to your boyfriend, ask him why he is being violent towards you and maybe that way you can find out the underlying cause and put a stop to it.

And okay, so you slept with your best mate, you didn't mean to and you are a good person for feeling guilty and for knowing you did wrong. We all make mistakes and that doesn't mean you're a bad person because of that incident.

What you should do though, is leave your friend alone and see what he does. You say he has a girlfriend, well maybe he still wants to be with his girlfriend and not you, maybe he was just trying to comfort you that night and it went a bit further then it was meant to.

If you speak to your boyfriend and it leads to him being more violent or it makes things worse, then it is either time for you two to split up, or there are people who can help. Childline is a good help service that you can phone confidentially and they will tell you what you can do, here is there number... 0800 1111, you can phone them anytime day or night.

I wish you all the best.

:)

[familylovers]

He already has another girlfriend and don't believe hem if he says his sorry