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    joe4life's Avatar
    joe4life Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 12, 2010, 02:58 AM
    I made a stupid mistake and it keeps haunting me. Help?
    Right now, I'm 14 year old boy. I found out I was gay back when I was 12. I never had any friends (and I still don't right now) I was really curious about sex and I wanted to try it out. I didn't know any gay guys at my school and I didn't even have any friends at all to talk to, so when I was 12 years old I started going into gay chat rooms. I wanted to find someone to experiment with, but I couldn't find anyone in my age range so I started talking to adults online when I was 13. Soon I made a really stupid mistake. In June 2010 I tried looking for men to met up with on craigslist.com. I wasn't even respose to be on that site because I wasn't 18. All the young men turned me down because I was too young for them, except for one guy who was 46 years old. He asked me to met him and I said yes. It know it was a really dumb mistake but I was curious and he was the only guy who wanted to meet me. When I met him, I let him make-out with me and he gave me oral sex for less than a minute before I told him to stop. He tried his best to persuade me to get in the car with him and go to his house, but I said no. I didn't think he would try to hurt/kidnap me, because I was bigger/taller than he was. Eventually he left and I went home. I haven't seen him since that day and I hope I never run into him! I felt violated from that incident. I just thought it was really gross because he was way older than I was. I'm being tested for STDs this week. I'm doing better now, but I still feel violated. I don't want to go to the police because that would only make it worse and I would get in trouble for going on craigslist.com because I was underage! And I don't have anyone to talk to about this. If I tell my parents or siblings, they'll just get really mad at me for doing this. Please don't tell me to go to the police or tell my parents. That would only make me feel worse!if I go to a school counseler about this, they might tell the police. I don't want to get them involved. This had been haunting me this whole summer! This thought keeps flashing in my head over and over again! All I want to do now is put this behind me. How do I over come this? Please help me!
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Aug 12, 2010, 03:44 AM
    Firstly,you are very well written for a 14 year old.There are many who come on here who can't even finish a sentence much less an opening post.. good job.

    Beyond that... You got lucky.If you haven't any STD's,which I really hope you haven't,but even Aids can take a certain amount of time to test positive for(I am not sure the actuals,speak with the testers about that)and I hope you have learned a serious lesson.

    Experimentation is all well and good until something turns ugly, that situation could have done just that easily.Count your blessings.

    So,you have made a decision as to your sexuality and your hormones are telling you to run with this.. tell them off!

    You have(with all hope) a whole lifetime to ' experiment ' ,what's the rush,it'll be there when you are ready for the consequences.No risk is worth your life,you might have dodged the bullet this time but sooner or later it'll catch you.

    Safe sex is and always will be necessary.

    I am only stating what any responsible adult would say to you.

    I am hopeful others will chime in on this thread in the next few days and offer their take on this.

    Hope the testing goes well for you.
    jamila123's Avatar
    jamila123 Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 12, 2010, 03:48 AM

    Hi... im also 14... and I've made some mistakes in my past... I couldn't stop thinking about it at first... the best thing to do is just get on with it... find hobbies/interests.. other things to take your mind off things... if you had no part/role in what happened then I would recommend going to the police.. but you brought it on yourself... that guy took advantage of you the same way someone took advantage of me... but I'm not going to let that one mistake get to me.. - I'm an artist and a singer an there's so much more I can be in my life and I'm sure you have too... ur family care for you and are always there to support u, if you have no friends at your current school, tell your family you want to go to a different one...
    Just keep your head held high, do what your good at, laugh, be friendly and youl be just fine :)
    Nickol32's Avatar
    Nickol32 Posts: 116, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 12, 2010, 04:30 AM

    You should not feel gross
    Old people are not gross, just people.
    Having sex is not gross either.
    You just felt not ready for this kind of activity and its OK
    But you do not need to regrt it everyday it heppened move on
    You are normal
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
    Expert
     
    #5

    Aug 12, 2010, 11:52 AM
    As KBC told you, don't rush things ,you got a lot of years to figure it out.

    Unless you continue with meeting strangers for sex, or any other reason the way you went about it.
    Unprotected sex and meeting strangers you meet online are two excellent ways to cut your life short, and exponentially increase the chance of dying in a horrible manner.

    You are intelligent enough to understand this.

    I think you should make a police report.
    A 46 year old man who is seeking and engaging in sex with 14 yr olds should be stopped.
    You would probably get some counseling that could help you tremendously.
    It would not be a public spectacle , your privacy (for the most part) is a concern for the courts.
    And predators like that guy need to be identified and stopped.

    Nobody is going to arrest you for going on craigslist, don't worry about that.

    Have some patience and a brighter future and stick with people your age.
    Stop the online madness, you never know who you're really talking to , and finding out is dangerous.

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