[nfcbuttrubbed]

So me and this girl have been seeing each other for 3 months. It has been kind of rough but I truly do care for her. I could tell something was up 2 weeks in and about a little over a month she told me. She was raped and it answered a lot of the questions I had as to why she all of a sudden didn't see me as much or she would randomly stop talking to me. So I was always there for her and supporting her. She said I was the only good thing she had going for her over the summer. Speed things up. About two weeks she wanted to take a break cause she felt bad cause she couldn't give me 100% and it was stressing me out cause I truly cared. They had caught the guy who did it and she had to go to court for it. So I backed off some to give her some space. Well one night I didn't answer her text so she jumped to the idea I didn't want to be with her anymore and hooked up with an ex. Didn't have sex but still made out and stuff. It doesn't really bother me cause I always give one get out of jail free card. Anything after that though and I'm stepping. Well things just kept getting uglier these last few days. We had a big talk last night. She said she didn't regret what she did. That kind of hurt cause I truly care about her. She said she still has feeling but the are different some how but she couldn't tell me exactly how. She said she didn't feel like things were working out. So I asked if she wanted me to walk my own path and part ways. She said yes but she still wants to be friends. I said I couldn't do that. I couldn't just be friends. I still have feelings for her and I wouldn't be able to stand just being a friend. So I said you want to be friends and I want to be with you. If we step back and be friends for now will you give me a chance later down the road. She said possibly, I still have feelings for you. I have nothing against that at all. That's where we ended the conversation. I just don't know what to do. I care and like this girl so much. I never met anyone like her and I don't want to give up. I have done this whole friends crap before with my ex so I know what to be aware of and if she plays games with me I will walk. I just need some advice. She used to always say how much she cared and called me her favorite. If I said I missed her, she would always say I miss you more. In the last two weeks there has hardly been any of that from her. Should I stick it out and see if things can come together or just go my own way?

[talaniman]

I bet we all hope we can go from a relationship, back to friends and have a chance at a relationship later. That's a lot of false hope to overcome, and distracts you from better options and opportunities waiting for some one to change their minds, under the guise of being friends.

Sure we can be friends, but I do have a life, and other friends. So while you bow out gracefully, keep your dignity and self respect, by being unavailable, and busy, doing your own thing.

It's a big mistake to give her top priority in your life while you are an option in hers, because she will keep you close, until something more interesting comes along. That's when it gets messy, and you get hurt.

You are single (as is she), so act like it!!

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When you break up, have the courtesy to revoke their relationship privileges.

Talaniman Rules- when you get dumped, don't go back to get dumped again

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rule- Never allow an ex to make rules for what you do.

Talaniman Rule- While they are dumping you, never say you can't be friends. Agree to whatever she wants, then disappear from their life.

Talaniman Rule- If one female isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, thats just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Talaniman Rule of Rules- Don't get sucked in the confusion of being friends, at the expense of your healing

Talaniman Rule- If an ex wants you back, It has to be on their own without your influence.

Talaniman Rule- Never get so wrapped up with wanting something, when you know you can't have it.

Talaniman Rule - If they can't treat them like you want to be treated, don't mess around with them.

Talaniman Rule- When you allow bad behavior, you will get it.

Talaniman Rule-When you stop looking for love, and do your thing, and enjoy ALL YOUR OPTIONS, AND OPPORTUNITIES, love will find you.

Talaniman Rule-Build a life that you enjoy without a mate, and your happiness will attract people who will want to share in it with you.

[Homegirl 50]

Let her go her way and you go yours.
You have already said you don't want to be just friends with her, so don't do it.
She does not sound as if she is wanting anymore than that anyway.
Don't play with what you know you don't want.

[martinizing2]

Those are good rules to follow.

I'd print that out and read it every morning.

Those rules cover it well.


I wish you well.