[coolrossy4123]

I like oral sex but I don't know how to tell my husband about it, I could remember the last time I had it, it was ex boy friend and each time I remember it I fill like doing it again, but how do I make my husband do it because I always give him bj thinking that without telling him he should do the same to me.

[lickemlolly]

The easiest thing to do is to ask him for it... PLEASE do yourself a favor and ASK for what you want or need... that is your husband not your boyfriend.. its not all about giving.. there should be some give and take in the relationship.. im sure he would be willing to do it for you... or maybe he doesn't know how... but even with that he can learn to be so good at it... :) I'm smiling about that because I've had to coach a couple once or twice on how to do it and they ended up being great at it.. openess is key here.. talk to him about it

[positiveparent]

You could always drop something on the floor, and when he bends down to pick it up, say to him while youre down there, hell soon get the hint, "joke", but actually it would also get the desired results he would possibly love being told in this way, keep sex fun and you wont have inhibitions.

[JudyKayTee]

I believe in honesty in a relationship, husband or boyfriend. Tell him what you want. If he needs to be coached, watch a video together.

Does he have a religious basis for his refusal (if he is refusing)?

[Enigma1999]

Hello Cool,

While you two are kissing, do you ever lick his fingers and put them on your.. In other words, do you ever guide him into doing anything to you?

Honestly, he may think that you don't even like getting oral. Especially because you have never mentioned it to him.

I do agree with everyone else, communication is the key. Tell him what you want and what you like.

[Fr_Chuck]

I see a very very serious problem in this relationship. You both should be talking about all your desires, your wants or your needs.

If you can't even think how to tell him, I am scared your relationship is in a serious shape. A husband and wife should be able to discuss anything,

[smoothy]

If you can't tell your HUSBAND something as basic as this... why did you get married.

If you can't talk to someone... what are you doing sleeping with them.

On another note... while many women might be able to read minds... men generally do not have that ability. If you like something or want something... you have to tell him.

[kp2171]

As others have said, you are responsible for yourself, and that includes clearly stating to your partner what you want and need.

I've mentioned this over and over... I'm almost tired of it... but you can get him perhaps to face this with a little sex book swap.

Buy She Comes First and Passionista

Amazon.com: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (9780060538262):…
Amazon.com: Passionista: The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man (9780060834395): Ian Kerner: Books

You take the female book and he gets the male. You read She Comes First, a lot about approaches to oral on the woman but also about redefining foreplay and understanding a woman's body and physiological response... a very easy read and not "icky"... and he get the mans book, about what men like. You each read the book... mark sections you like and have concepts you relate to, and then you swap.

The nice thing about reading books and sharing them is you get to talk about the subject at hand through the book. Doesn't matter if its sex or relationships or money or faith or whatever...

The book becomes a vehicle for discussion. You aren't saying "you never do this"... you say "i was really interested in this particular page"...

It is no substitute for flat out open and honest talk. But it is a bridge to getting there. And you'll likely find some angles and perspective you might not have thought about.

I mention this book series often not because it is the definitive sex bible. It surely isn't. There are some controversial, and even inadequately unsubstantiated, statements concerning anatomy. But I like how its written... I like that a couple can share it starting with the idea that he gets to read about what he might like and make a "wish list" (tho it really isn't that)... and then he gets to read about a perspective on a woman's body that he probably wouldn't have done otherwise.

I absolutely love oral on a woman. There are so many great aspects to it. But it wasn't always that way and it took education, patience, and demanding lovers who were not afraid to ask for what they needed.

Thank God for women who are willing to trade the safety of silence for the power of communication.

Tag.

You're it.

Your move.