[hoffnunglos]

I met a guy a few years ago (2007), I was really interested in him, and he showed some interest in me. Now (2010) I'm in a serious relationship, but I'm not happy, my boyfriend doesn't treat me the way I expected. He's losing the interest, I guess. We are not really happy together. So the guy from 2007 wrote me asking me if I would visit him if he would invite me. I don't know what to write back. (he wrote that in public). I would visit him, but I don't want to be too easy, saying yesssss I would love to... In the other way I don't want to cold with him... Any suggestions?

[kctiger]

My suggestion to you would be to focus on the fact that you need to work on your own relationship. Communicate your feelings to your current boyfriend. If you don't want to work this out, then break up with him. It isn't wise to go at a whim and meet up with this other guy just because you aren't happy in your current relationship.

Your entire basis for this is because you can't stand your current boyfriend. If that's the case, break up with him, and go do your own thing. But don't just meet up with a guy, while you are in a committed relationship, just to see if he can make you happier.

[lickemlolly]

Agreed here... don't jump into something new and you haven't even closed this other chapter in your life... not a healthy way to peruse a new interest

[artlady]

Rebound relationships rarely turn out well in the long term.
If you have an interest in someone else and are dissasified with your current BF,break up with him first.

After a good time of getting to know yourself again and living single,only then would it be wise to enter into a new relationship.

Jumping from guy to guy looking for happiness is a worthless venture.Only when you can be truly happy and content as a single person will you be able to have a healthy bond with someone based on mutual desire and not a need to be in a relationship.

[positiveparent]

Work on what youve got if that doesnt pan out then maybe consider what you want to do about the other guy, dont put all your eggs in one basket though, cos a few will get broken, along with your heart, Better the Devil you Know...

[Devorameira]

You've already gotten some great advice, so I can't add a lot.

Basically I just want to stress the importance of ending one relationship before you start another one.

Also be certain that you wait a while before dating to ensure that you don't get involved in a rebound relationship. Rebound relationships almost never work out, so if you're serious about getting involved with someone else, you have to be willing to wait it out until you're truly over your current guy.

[talaniman]

As tempting as it is, why cheat on the guy whether you like him any more, or not. That can't be a good choice. And as the others have pointed out, take care of your business with the current guy first, and give it your full attention, and not be distracted by an offer from the outside before you do.

Jumping from guy to guy is needy, and easy, and if you have a boyfriend, it's a lying cheating path you follow. Neither of these choices is a good one.

[Kitkat22]

I wouldn't do it. It will make you look needy. You will be cheating and lying to your Boyfriend.

[Just Looking]

I read your posts from December 2009. Is this the same boyfriend? If so, you have been unhappy for quite a while. It sounds like it's time to end the relationship. If this is a different guy, you may have gotten into a new relationship too soon.

Either way, you are unhappy and you need to figure out why. If it's about your current boyfriend, you either work to fix the relationship or you end it. You don't need to have the next guy lined up to do this - in fact, that's not a healthy way to end something or to start something new.

So, as others have said, figure out if you want to work on your current relationship. Either way, work on yourself - figure out what is important to you and how to get there. Be honest with the other guy. You have more than 2 choices - it's not a question of saying "yessss, I would love to" or being cold. You tell him honestly that you are in a relationship and aren't available to see him. He should appreciate your honesty. You will feel better about yourself if you do this the right way.

[Kitkat22]

I read your posts from December 2009. Is this the same boyfriend? If so, you have been unhappy for quite a while. It sounds like it's time to end the relationship. If this is a different guy, you may have gotten into a new relationship too soon.

Either way, you are unhappy and you need to figure out why. If it's about your current boyfriend, you either work to fix the relationship or you end it. You don't need to have the next guy lined up to do this - in fact, that's not a healthy way to end something or to start something new.

So, as others have said, figure out if you want to work on your current relationship. Either way, work on yourself - figure out what is important to you and how to get there. Be honest with the other guy. You have more than 2 choices - it's not a question of saying "yessss, I would love to" or being cold. You tell him honestly that you are in a relationship and aren't available to see him. He should appreciate your honesty. You will feel better about yourself if you do this the right way.

You said it all. I got to spread the rep.

[positiveparent]

Heres an alternative suggestion if youre unhappy end it with this guy, and spend some time on your own being single and yourself, you might find in doing this the next time you do get into a relationship itll be the right one for the right reasons, you can survive without a relationship its possible very possible and it could just be what you need to do.

Get your life in order and your priorities into perspective, and who knows this time next year you could be in a blissfully happy relationship one where another man wont even enter your head.

One thing DONT CHEAT it demeans you and puts you down in the ranks of low life.