[4answers]

I am stuck in a vicious rut... I am not as good looking or successful with the ladies as I once thought I would be... At that time I dumped someone I should not have.

But my assumed success has not taken place and leaves me with feelings of regret etc... Way to late, ship sailed

So this lack of success and perhaps wrong road taken leaves me fighting depression over this... Aaargh...

Can’t seem to break free!! Can’t attract the women I want and miss the one I had...

Any suggestions on breaking this cycle..

[Homegirl 50]

Stop looking at the past, it's gone, the lady is gone. When you dwell on "should have" you don't see the "could be".

Bloom where you're planted. You are on a journey, not the destination. Take every day as a step forward instead of "I'm not where I want to be" You may find you're in a pretty good place if you stop looking back.

[positiveparent]

Have to spread rep. I agree with Homegirl the past is gone you cannot change it, you can learn from it though and take what you've learned with you into the Present. The Now The Moment, which is all anyone of us has.

Lick your wounds, dust yourself off, straighten up, shoulders back chest out, Now you're ready to face reality.

You won't know where you want to be until you get there so take in the scenery, enjoy the view, breath deeply, and go for it, make the most of what you have available to you. You have lessons to learn and also to teach, knowledge to gain and be shared too. Yes face forwards. You cannot go back. On wards and upwards.

Don't try to attract women, let them attract you or take some alone time to reinvent yourself.

Whatever is ahead for you go for it, one of my brothers always used to say he kissed the ugly girls to make them feel good and the pretty ones to make him feel good. Pretty good philosophy I think.

[kctiger]

It's really hard to be attractive unless we feel attractive. Because of your perceived mistake and now depression over dumping your ex, you probably don't feel all that attractive. Happens to the best of us.

I think you need to realize that dating and such is supposed to be fun. Don't go into this with serious intent. Just go out, have fun and others will be drawn to that fun. If you are going to get disappointed when you can't "attract" a certain female, it will wear down on you. Just smile and enjoy yourself.

Most of the time, when you're having fun and just being you, things happen really unexpectedly, which includes relationships. Attraction is about 80% attitude and mentality as well... at least in my opinion.

[Homegirl 50]

You might want to stop worrying about attracting a certain type of woman and just have fun going out with different kinds women. You may find the unexpected in the unexpected.

Stop stewing over the one you don't have. That is a total waste of time and energy. It also sends out yukky vibes to any woman you may come in contact with.