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smcthatgirl2 · Jul 25, 2010, 06:58 AM

Since I have turned 18, I have been going out a lot more and my girl friends and I have become better friends with a group of guys. We have all been mixing socially together, and two relationships have even formed from it. I became really good friends with one of the guys and we became really close and told each other about the people we liked and our dreams for the future and would give each other advice etc. He told me how he had stopped talking to the girl he liked because she kept leading him on and was selfish. So we talked basically everyday as friends for about 3 months, and I thought I had a really great guy friend, but now he has stopped talking to me. He isn't ignoring me or anything but it seems like now he is talking to this girl again he doesn't need me anymore, and now I have lost a friend :( :(. Also, one of my friends broke up with one of the guys and now it seems like they don't want to be friends with us anymore. Im really upset because I want to stay friends with them, Its really getting me down, I don't know what to do.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 25, 2010, 07:12 AM

Looks like the guy has maybe decided to get back with his girl friend, that's the way it goes sometimes.
The summer will be over soon, kids preparing to go away to school, those summer friendship begin to splinter, again that is the way it goes.
Instead of being down about the friends you've lost have fun with the ones you have.

smcthatgirl2 · Jul 25, 2010, 07:31 AM

But they aren't going out, and they never did. He liked her and she just led him on, and is still doing the same thing to him. I don't understand why I can't still be friends with him? How can you go from talking to someone everyday to not at all, am I really that easily discarded? :(
Yes but I am really upset because I liked someone in their group who has now left for the army. And I don't want to lose my friendships with everyone else or I will never see him when he comes back :(

Homegirl 50 · Jul 25, 2010, 07:41 AM

If want to keep in touch with the guy going into the Army, give him you e-mail address tell him you'd like to stay in touch.

If the guy is still talking to you, what is the problem? Are you upset because he is talking to this girl? There's nothing you can do about that. He has not discarded you he is just dividing his attention

smcthatgirl2 · Jul 25, 2010, 07:46 AM

The guy that left for the army, it's a long story but basically he was a massive 'player' lol and he knew I liked him and he told me that if he wasn't leaving he would have asked me out. I don't know how true that is though, and I cannot stop liking him either :s.

With my guy friend, well he always used to start conversations on Facebook chat, like everyday. Now he never does, and I don't know what I did wrong. I guess I am upset he is talking to her gain because I know she doesn't really care about him and in a way I'm jealous. I do feel discarded, I feel like I was just a substitute for her and now he doesn't need me anymore :(

Homegirl 50 · Jul 25, 2010, 11:23 AM

You could have been a substitute, but there is nothing you can do about it now, besides you just said you liked the guy going into the Army.
Get the guys address and keep in touch if you want, otherwise I don't know what the problem is. You are no longer the center of either of their attention and you're feeling a bit left out. That's life.

smcthatgirl2 · Jul 25, 2010, 08:10 PM

Yes I do like the guy that left for the army, and I have the ability to keep in touch with him so it is just a matter of whether he cares to reciprocate or not.

Also, I need to clear a few things up, Im not upset because I am no longer the 'centre of attention', in fact I never was the centre of either of their attention, and Im not the sort of person that wants that. My problem is I can't understand why my friend had to effectively cut me out of his life all of a sudden when we had gotten along so well and were developing a great friendship. I want to know whether I should give up on being his friend if he makes no more of an effort to talk to me?
I guess you could say my problem is that I have no stable male figures in my life, and even the ones I start to trust end up disappointing and abandoning me.

Kitkat22 · Jul 25, 2010, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by smcthatgirl2

Yes I do like the guy that left for the army, and I have the ability to keep in touch with him so it is just a matter of whether he cares to reciprocate or not.

Also, I need to clear a few things up, Im not upset because I am no longer the 'centre of attention', in fact I never was the centre of either of their attention, and Im not the sort of person that wants that. My problem is I can't understand why my friend had to effectively cut me out of his life all of a sudden when we had gotten along so well and were developing a great friendship. I want to know whether I should give up on being his friend if he makes no more of an effort to talk to me?
I guess you could say my problem is that I have no stable male figures in my life, and even the ones I start to trust end up disappointing and abandoning me.

If he doesn't want to talk.. don't contact him. Good Luck and someday you will have that special male figure in your life. He's out there and remember you have to kiss a few frogs before you meeet your Prince and
He'll be worth waiting for... Blessings

Homegirl 50 · Jul 26, 2010, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by smcthatgirl2

Yes I do like the guy that left for the army, and I have the ability to keep in touch with him so it is just a matter of whether he cares to reciprocate or not.

Also, I need to clear a few things up, Im not upset because I am no longer the 'centre of attention', in fact I never was the centre of either of their attention, and Im not the sort of person that wants that. My problem is I can't understand why my friend had to effectively cut me out of his life all of a sudden when we had gotten along so well and were developing a great friendship. I want to know whether I should give up on being his friend if he makes no more of an effort to talk to me?
I guess you could say my problem is that I have no stable male figures in my life, and even the ones I start to trust end up disappointing and abandoning me.

If he makes no effort to talk to you, forget him. He is busy elsewhere. He is talking to his ex again and that is probably taking his time.
You can have male friends, they will come and go. The right male will come when and from where you least expect.
Don't be discouraged.

Callie5800 · Mar 3, 2012, 10:02 PM

I know you guys will think I'm just some useless kid but, I'm 11 and I know how you feel. I dated this guy but we broke up and were still close (exteremely close) friends and told each other everything. But he started to like this really slutty girl. So, I became best friends with his peer group. He got jealous and tried to get my attention more and more. He kept doing that until, I just told him, he was shocked, yet, told me he loved me. So I hope I helped you! :)

Homegirl 50 · Mar 4, 2012, 09:11 AM

This is two years old