[Betsy23]

I am going through a similar situation with my daughter who will be 9 next month. She doesn't want to be at her dads and is there right now. She just called me crying that she wanted to come home. She snuck on the phone while her grandmother was outside. Her dad leaves her at her grandparents all the time. According to my lawyer there isn't anything I can do right this second. I am taking him back to court again but all that takes time. In the mean time my daughter is suffering!
It sucks for her and I can't hardly take hearing her cry. As a mother my instint is to protect her but I can't because of the so called courts that have her "best interest" in action. Whatever..! Any advise would be appreciated!

[ScottGem]

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on someone else's. This can lead to confusion. You should start a new thread. So I've moved your question to its own thread. Also this is a legal issue so its been moved to this forum.

The first thing you should do is ask that the court appoint a Guardian Ad Liteum (GAL) to oversee your daughter's interests. Then get her to a therapists who can determine WHY she doesn't like being with dad/grandma. That's the glaring omission in your post.

The only way a court will change the visitation is if you can show a good reason why she shouldn't be there. Her just being unhappy is not going to cut it. If you can assemble a good reason with proof, then you can ask for an emergency hearing to put the visitation schedule on hold until a full hearing can be held.

On a non-legal note. You explain to your daughter that a) her father and grandmother love her and want to spend time with her, b) that you understand she doesn't like being there and c) you are doing what you can to help, but these things take time and she needs to be a big girl and work with it.

At 9 she should be able to understand these things.

[Betsy23]

I have done all these things... encouraged her to go to her fathers and told her to hang in there I was trying to make things better and that they take time. But she just seems to be getting worse. She has turned from a happy outgoing child into a very angry and bitter little girl in a matter of months.
Last night around 8:30 she had snuck on the phone to call me crying that she wanted to come home. Her reason.. there was nothing to do and her dad was still at work. She then quickly hung up on me when her grandmother was coming back in. As a mother it was very difficult for me to not be able to reach out to her to tell her everything was going to be okay. I don't understand why it is okay for him to leave her with his parents all the time on his visitation.
At a last attempt to get her here at least for the weekend I told her father I would give him back the 173.00 child support payment I had just received and he agreed. So for a mere amount of money he was willing to let me have her when before it was not an option. This should show a little about the type of person he is.
I will take your advise and seek out a couselor to help Isabelle tell the courts what and why she feels this way and hope that things will change.

[ScottGem]

She has turned from a happy outgoing child into a very angry and bitter little girl in a matter of months.
Last night around 8:30 she had snuck on the phone to call me crying that she wanted to come home. Her reason..there was nothing to do and her dad was still at work.

To be honest this is very worrisome. When anyone makes a radical change in behavior, that throws up flags. For a 9 yr old to call in tears because she was bored, throws up more red flags.

Something is going on here. What has changed in those months? Is your breakup new? Is the visitation new? A change like that doesn't happen so quickly without reason and you need to get to the bottom of that reason.

[cdad]

Has your child stated why she doesn't want to go there? Does she have coloring books or projects to do? Books to read?