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RandomGuy1001 · Jul 20, 2010, 03:34 PM

Why does my girlfriend still think about her ex who she says she hates? She says she keeps having memories of them having sex from a year ago and says that the position we do together.. they used to do. And that it reminds her of him. She says she hates him and doesn't know why it keeps coming up.

positiveparent · Jul 20, 2010, 03:35 PM

I think you need to both talk this through and see if you can find out the cause, it could be nothing, just memories that are popping into her head, although I don't think its all that fair of her to be telling you about this in such detail, maybe she trying to let you know that you perhaps need to improve your sexual approach to her,

However ask her to talk about this in a way that you can resolve this.

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 03:39 PM

It would really upset me if my husband told me he was having thoughts about an old girlfriend and the sex they had, I would tell him to see if he could get her back.

I can't believe she would hurt you that way. There is something wrong. Just an opinion

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 20, 2010, 03:51 PM

Because people can't control their thoughts. Certain things bring back memories. This isn't something that she can help. But I will say, that telling you about this wasn't the best idea. Now you think that she still loves him or you remind her of him. She should have kept her mouth shut. That's just my opinion.

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 03:53 PM

Randomguy1001 and Koronue please use one name to post the same question. Using two different names is confusing.

RandomGuy1001 · Jul 20, 2010, 05:40 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Randomguy1001 and Koronue please use one name to post the same question. Using two different names is confusing.

My bad. When I signed up it glitched or something and ended up making both my screen names.

Yeah she pretty much destroyed me. Saying she keeps thinking about it and that she can't control her thoughts and whatever...

She said she told me because she didn't want to keep anything from me. Which turned into her saying that she felt she needs to be alone and settle her past or whatever.

I feel like killing myself.

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by RandomGuy1001

Yeah she pretty much destroyed me. Saying she keeps thinking about it and that she can't control her thoughts and whatever...

Get away and let her see what it's like without you. You can't hug or snuggle with a memory. Maybe it will wake her up.

Shadowburn · Jul 20, 2010, 05:56 PM

Her remark was really offensive and insensitive. No reason to kill yourself over stupid girl though, she's not worth it. Let her settle her past... good riddance.
Her ex is probably doing someone else in that same position.. but apparently she is willing to find out the hard way. Let her.

Kitkat22 · Jul 20, 2010, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by Shadowburn

Her remark was really offensive and insensitive. No reason to kill yourself over stupid girl though, she's not worth it. Let her settle her past...good riddance.
Her ex is probably doing someone else in that same position..but apparently she is willing to find out the hard way. Let her.

I agree. I'd be gone and let her live with the memories of the ex. You're better then that!

ISneezeFunny · Jul 20, 2010, 06:46 PM

I get that she wants to be honest, but even at that point, there are some lines that one should not cross, even when being fully honest. I would have a talk with her, let her know how you feel, and if you really can't bare to stand the thought of it, I would stay away for a little while.

talaniman · Jul 21, 2010, 07:45 AM

How long was it that they had broken up until the two of you got together?

How long have you been together, and how old are you?

It sounds to me she may have not had a proper healing after her last break up, and she was being honest with you about her feelings, even though it hurt, and disappoints you.

I hope you see it has nothing to do with you really but about the decisions she makes and how she copes with her own feelings.

Its obvious she needs time to stop the misery of the past and has a lot of baggage to unpack on her own.

Let her, as it must have been quite traumatic. Just back away and do what you were doing before she came along. Its not worth killing yourself over, you just fell for someone who has issues to deal with.

RandomGuy1001 · Jul 21, 2010, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How long was it that they had broken up until the two of you got together?

How long have you been together, and how old are you?

It sounds to me she may have not had a proper healing after her last break up, and she was being honest with you about her feelings, even though it hurt, and disappoints you.

I hope you see it has nothing to do with you really but about the decisions she makes and how she copes with her own feelings.

Its obvious she needs time to stop the misery of the past and has a lot of baggage to unpack on her own.

Let her, as it must have been quite traumatic. Just back away and do what you were doing before she came along. Its not worth killing yourself over, you just fell for someone who has issues to deal with.

Thank you. Sound advice. I'll let her figure it out. It may hurt for awhile but if it is not meant to be... then it is not meant to be. I feel as though it is more that she needs to let her past go and/or deal with it. If breaking up will help her figure things out then so be it.

talaniman · Jul 21, 2010, 08:33 AM

That's the correct attitude, she needs time, and space. I didn't want to call you a rebound, but its obvious she has not moved on sufficiently to be a good partner for any one.

Kitkat22 · Jul 21, 2010, 08:41 AM

Good luck Random... Maybe time will heal her wounds. You need some breathing room.

Take some time just for you and clear your head. I'm so sorry. I wish I could help but all I can say is, it does get better.