[kriscaba]

My daughter is 30 years old. She moved to another state with her boyfriend (he broke up with her last year). She has a bad credit and has a hard time to find the place to rent. Six years ago my husband (her step dad for 20 yrs) and I bought a one bedroom condominium so she can stay. She promised to pay rent to help for the mortgage. Three years ago we bought her a used car. We paid all repairs for the car. We always sent her money for Christmas and Birthday. She lives in our condo without pay any rent since 2006. She told me she only works part time. Her psychologist told us she has depression. She has been see psychiatrist and took medication for her depression. My husband and I did not pressure her for the rent. Two years ago I found out that she used drug (marijuana). I asked her to stop used drug she said it help for her depression. She does not want my advice only thing she needs from me is money. When I called her she never answer the phone. She called back a couple days or week later or never call back. We live 2000 miles away from her. Last month I found out that she rented out our condo to a friend. She used that money to move to a place that allowed pets. She corrected the rent from our condo for 12 months with out let us know. I sent her email told her that she can not move back to our condo and she can not correct the rent any more. She emailed to me said she sorry. She told me the reason why she had to move because she was depressed and did not get along with a old man who live on another floor. She did not mention about adopted the dogs. She said she can not afford to pay her rent without my help. She is begging me to help her. What more can I do for my daughter? Should I worry about her? Thank you very much. Kaycee.

[JoeCanada76]

Well she is 30 years old and you as parents were enabling her and helping her all this time. The best thing you could have done years ago is stop paying everything that just made her far too dependent on your help.

If she only has a part time job and she is spending the money on drugs. As parents you want to see your kids exceed but by paying everything and doing everything just made matters a lot worse.

Well anyway, I hope other people will reply to your post.

[xarex17]

She is already adult.. its not your responsibility anymore.. yes, she is your daughter but there is a limitation for everything.. she abused your kindness. She is in a depressed state but she can overcome it... leave her alone,. as they say, don't give a person a food because she will always depends on you.instead teach her how to search for food by having a job.. she will only learn her lesson if leave her. She is no longer a baby who needs to be watch out every single second...

That's my opinion just don't get me wrong...

[kriscaba]

Thank you for all the replies.
I did not hear from her since May.

[martinizing2]

She will most likely never grow up until you make her do it.

You will not always be around to take care of her. It would be for her own good to learn about survival on your own

It is tough love time. Cut her off all financial help.

I wish you all well

[Homegirl 50]

She had enough sense and wherewithal to rent out the condo collect the rent and live someplace else, she can make it on her own.
Tell her the money tree is no longer blooming. Let her grow up and take care of herself.

[positiveparent]

Its time for you to cut the apron strings, or umbilical chord, and make her face life as an adult, as homegirl said she had no trouble renting out the condo and collecting the rent.

She's capable she just isn't bothered because she knows good old mummy and daddy will come to her rescue, and you can bet your life the money she collected on rent went on drugs or similar.

Toughen up on her, she's a grown up and now she's got to face it.