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    difraro's Avatar
    difraro Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 5, 2010, 09:00 AM
    Will my husband regret his decision on divircing me even knowing I love him deeply?
    My husband wanted to get separated and got his own place but I asked him to try again so he proposed we stayed separated but he would see our kid and I every weekend go on vacation together and we would spend the night together I been willing to do this because I love him but now after a year of this he asked me for the divorce I'm totally heart broken because now I realize he never wanted to come back or be with me,but will he regreat this someday? I'm in shock!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 5, 2010, 10:11 AM
    What exactly shocks you.

    For a year you were in a holding pattern with him, and what did the two of you do to repair your marriage, other than be together on the weekends, and go on vacations together. It sounds like a 'friends with benefits' situation, where the two of you re-defined the marriage, and lived by the arrangement for a year.

    What you had was not a reconcilliation. It was neither of you were able to take the final step. I don't know what you expected, but if you never discussed him returning home, and maybe marriage counselling, it seems that this arrangement wouldn't last in my opinion.

    You lived through the shock of separation, him moving out, and you realizing you were essentially without a marriage. He threw a few crumbs your way, that you agreed to without time limits or guidelines of some sort, and now you are shocked that the arrangement has ended.

    I would say that when the dust settles, that you define yourself better, and what you want and need in a partner. Full time, committed, and there 100% of the time.

    A part time marriage is not a marriage, no matter what you thought the eventual conclusion was going to be.

    I wish you luck in finding your way, and I hope you are stronger and more assertive with him, should he wish to resume the weekends only thing.
    nadia.baseer.durrani's Avatar
    nadia.baseer.durrani Posts: 27, Reputation: 7
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:43 PM
    He made his a year ago. Tahts plenty of time. I don't think he'll regret. And you are off without him too now. Because he can never return your feelings. Save it for some other lucky person :)
    Oddboots's Avatar
    Oddboots Posts: 57, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Jul 16, 2010, 11:04 PM
    Regret? I doubt it. He's had his cake and eaten it too.

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