[Cat1864]

This seems to be an on-going issue with the two of you:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-399792.html

He gets to play games with his co-worker and act up and you have to toe the line when your friends are playing around.

I think he has a bit of guilty conscience and the banter poked it. Are you getting better at communicating with each other?

[kctiger]

@ kctiger - ??? meaning???

Meaning I have followed many of your threads and they all point to poor communication and blatant immaturity between the both of you. I'm not saying he is right, or you are right.

Anyone who takes anything on Facebook seriously should probably examine themselves and their life. No offense to you either, I just don't see why Facebook should be involved enough in two people's lives that it creates this sort of drama.

[HotPotato2009]

I feel that we are getting better at communicating with each other. I talk to him more about problems that I am having and things about our relationship. He communicates with me about some of his issues. But sometimes when I ask him what's wrong, sometimes he will tell me and other times he won't. Sometimes he will say, I'm not going to tell you cause you might get mad... but he will eventually tell me


@ kctiger - I agree with you with you to a certain point. I feel that my communication skills is improving a lot more better than before. And I only come onto this site for ADVICE about my problems. If I don't ask for some kind of advice then that's when stress and depression comes about.

[kctiger]

HP I'm not trying to say that you aren't doing the right thing by trying to talk about things and getting help to resolve these issues. Your effort must be applauded because you definitely seem like you are trying everything to make things work between you two.

Maybe he needs to work on communicating as well. I hate to say this, but it sounds like he wrote that love note on your wall as a way to announce you are taken... just my opinion. I know how us guys can get easily offended by the stupidest things, but a line needs to be drawn. Maybe some counseling of some sort would be great for you two.

[Just_Another_Lemming]

I would add controlling too.

[HotPotato2009]

Yeah maybe. Now he texted me and said he would like to talk to me when I get off work. So well see what he has to say about it all. See how he will try to flip things on me

[parisrose]

Wow how immature!

I couldn't handle a guy who made me feel like I was doing something wrong by a friend posting something.

Then demanding I delete him and such. Wow

I would be very cautious, this seems to be the first signs of a controlling and possessive boyfriend.

[CarrotTalker]

Wow how immature!

I couldn't handle a guy who made me feel like I was doing something wrong by a friend posting something.

Then demanding I delete him and such. wow

I would be very cautious, this seems to be the first signs of a controlling and possessive boyfriend.

While I kind of agree with you, you do need to see this from the guys perspective. Some guy friend is basically hitting on your girlfriend and insulting you by saying she needs a real man. While it might be a silly Facebook post, would it be a different reaction if he said that in person?

Also think if the tables were turned, how would you feel if a girl went "you need a real girlfriend" on your boyfriends Facebook?

I'm not really sure in this situation, but just trying to play devils advocate.

I wouldn't call him immature or possessive because he became insecure about something another guy said, it happens to everyone once in a while.

[Homegirl 50]

I think both of you guys are immature. What kind of person post ""that's why you need a real ni*** to bring you breakfast". And what kind of person thinks it's funny or OK.
Your boyfriend is mad at you for not defending him and you're wondering if he should be mad. You both need to grow up.
If he is mad, he thinks he has something to be mad about, don't invalidate what he feels. If you think he is mad for no reason, talk to him about it. State how you feel.
I don't know why you two just don't leave each other alone.

[hunnypooh97]

Agreed.. maybe you should tell him to stop "checking" on your Facebook page. If he can't do the same thing (not wanting to delete some individuals when you asked him to), then he has no right to ask you to delete your friends..

[HotPotato2009]

@CarrotTalker: I feel what your saying. Thanks!

@Homegirl50: How does that make me immature??

[redhed35]

I just read the whole thread,all 209 posts of 'he said ''i said'.

HP,your whole relationship is riddled with low self esteem,low confidence,bad communication skills,silly arguments and teenage behaviour,and not forgetting the 3rd party in your relationship, Facebook.

In saying all that something must be working because your both still together,I can't see it though.

As for the latest upset over Facebook,even I know after reading your thread he was going to be upset over it,and I've never even met the guy!

He gets upset over this stuff.

I can't see you leaving him,you both seem to be co-dependant on each other and feed off these squabbles,each trying to win in an endless power struggle.

Delete the friend and you will have peace,that sounds like bad advice,but at this stage in the game,I doubt anything but that will pacify him.

Find a way to compromise,when things calm down make a pact,you don't read his Facebook and he does not read yours.

Facebook has been the cause of rows in your house for over a year now,why keep going back over the same ground,compromise or lose Facebook.

You both need to find a new way to settle arguments,otherwise your still going to be having the same row in ten years time.

[HotPotato2009]

@ Redhead: Thanks :-) And your right! We're trying though! We do talk a lot more about our problems than we used to. Which is a great thing, because there used to be a time when we just wouldn't say anything to each other about it.

Myself esteem and confidence is sometimes drifts back and forth on the low side. But I'm working on that.

And I do have a little issue with one of his coworkers (the girl I've mentioned on here about). Sometimes I feel like being nice to her and other times I hate her, even though the situation happened a year ago. It's def not something easy for me to let go of because he still talks to her. Every now and then I think, "is he going to do it again?". It's always that thought. Can't seem to shake it off.

I would say that we are doing an okay job communicating. I mean it's a start. Could be worse. But it also could be better

[Homegirl 50]

@CarrotTalker: I feel what your saying. Thanks!

@Homegirl 50: How does that make me immature???

I am not the only one who says you are immature, I believe there were a few others before me.
You guys are arguing over something somebody said on face book, should I be mad? All this back and forth, insecurity, a girl he works with..
Go back and read all of your threads.
I think you both are acting like youngsters.

[HotPotato2009]

@Homegirl: We were not "arguing" over what was said on Facebook. It didn't even last a day! When I got home from work we talked about it and that was the end of it. He wasn't mad, I wasn't mad. He told me how he felt, I told him how I felt. Nothing immature about that.

And I don't need to go back and read my thread, I remember everything I wrote

[Homegirl 50]

There are so many threads merged here. The problem with Facebook, the problem with the trip to Va, the problem with the coworker.
Maybe immature is the wrong word.
I don't think you guys are compatible. I don't think you trust him and I don't think he much cares whether you do or not.

Now see another one about him getting on you about being late for work. It's always something.
I think you two are just not on the same page. You don't understand him and he does not seem to have much patience for you.

[HotPotato2009]

Yeah.. and I came to this site for advice about things. Not to be judged. Some of the advice that I have received worked because we are still together.

When we first got together we were great! But after the incident with his co-worker I started not trusting him as much. Can't blame me for that. How would you feel if your guy did that to you? You wouldn't trust him as much either. But the trusting thing is getting better. I don't nag him about things as much as I used to before, I don't question him about who he talking to on Facebook anymore (even though I want to sometimes), I don't follow behind him or get mad when he leaves the house... all from advice that I got from this site and my wonderful mom!

I'll learn to trust him 100% eventually. Not something you can rush. Like I said I'm working on it. I will get there. And I feel that I am doing better with that.

[I wish]

At the end of the day, if he can't earn your trust back, then this relationship is doomed nor matter how hard you try.

If you believe that there is progress, then there's reason to go forward.

[HotPotato2009]

Now see another one about him getting on you about being late for work. It's always something.
I think you two are just not on the same page. You don't understand him and he does not seem to have much patience for you.

You making it seem like there is a new problem everyday and it's not! Everyone had issues in a relationship. Nobodys relationship is perfect. Your going to disagree on things. It's how the person deal with it in the end. The issue with me being late for work was sooo long ago. Did you see the post on there when I came back to the site and wrote that I was doing better with getting to work on time?? Guess not! Funny thing about people is, they always looking at bad people do and never the good.

[Homegirl 50]

Well good, you're doing better with the trust, but it is always something else, the running with him, the getting up earlier, next week it maybe something else. I just went through all of this, there must be 4 or 5 different threads merged here in the last 5 months. I'm not looking to judge but there seems to be a lot of drama about one thing or the other.
I just don't think you two are on the same page, you're in different stages of life, maybe it is the difference in your ages, I don't know. There does not mean it is your fault or his, you two just may not be compatible.
But if you want to have this constant drama fine, stay!
I wish you well.