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animalcrazygirl · Jul 11, 2010, 08:47 PM

I have been dating this guy for almost 2 months. We met randomly, we weren't friends first, he is a patient at the doctors office I work at and he just asked me out. To make a long story short, he just seems unattentive. Part of it may be that before I dated him, I was engaged to a guy that was connected to me at the hip (thats about 50% of why we broke up though). Brian (my current boyfriend) used to only want to hang out on weekends, and rarely call me and make excuses. I've brought it up and it seems better. I am totally not a clingy person at all but I feel so flustered because I love him so much and he says he loves me but he like, will say he wants to hang out but he always says he has to go first, he will go like days with out a simple text or phone call
Example: Fourth of July weekend, I called in on the Monday because I wanted to do something fun with him. He told me he oculdnt hang out because he had to 'do personal stuff like get his oil changed'

My friends/Mom/Sister etc. are telling me to call it quits, even though he's a great guy and they like him. Any other words of advice to either make him show he loves me or advice on what I should do from here

I huge problem I am having that I've noticed is I'm starting to want to date again. I am not the type to cheat and I don't want to, but having a boyfriend that I want that doesn't seem to want me makes me pretty lonely.

martinizing2 · Jul 11, 2010, 10:54 PM

Two months is not really that much time to really get to know someone enough to know that you are really in love with them.

I think you should tell him exactly how you feel. Ask him what he expects from a relationship and how he feels about yours.

Honest communication is essential and can do wonders. Sometimes people just need to know more about their partners feelings and expectations instead of acting on assumptions. If he really cares about you he should be willing to listen and act on what he learns or offer an explanation .

As I said two months is not much time to know someone and you may just need more time to get to know each other.

TruthSayer0122 · Jul 11, 2010, 11:50 PM

I'm learning this lesson right now: Great guys, nice people don't always make great boyfriends. Because he is so great you are going to fall harder for him and put him before you. This is a red flag. Break it off. If he wants you bad enough he will become attentive.

talaniman · Jul 12, 2010, 06:43 AM

Dump him, and date someone else, because chances are if your having so many issues, so early on, then that's a red flag that it may not work. His words and actions don't match. At least the beginning of the relationship should be absolutely great, and full of fun, until reality shows you different.

Your family, and friends are right.

Kitkat22 · Jul 12, 2010, 06:57 AM

I think you want this guy to give you his undivided attention all the time. If this is true he's feeling smothered.

You are probably use to get attention from all your family and friends. You said you and your former boyfriend were joined at
The hip?

Many men find that daunting and they feel trapped. Try giving him room to breath. You can't have attention from one person all the time.

hidden123 · Jul 12, 2010, 08:45 AM

Talk to him - explain that you are feeling lonely wile having a boyfriend and see what his outlook at the relationship is... if this is all he is willing to offer and you need more - than this might be a good time for you to move on..

Homegirl 50 · Jul 12, 2010, 11:59 AM

I don't think he is all that keen on you and you're saying you want to date again, so you are not all that in love with him.
You had an almost 2 month run, it's not a match, time to move on.

Kitkat22 · Jul 12, 2010, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I don't think he is all that keen on you and you're saying you want to date again, so you are not all that in love with him.
You had an almost 2 month run, it's not a match, time to move on.

Leave him... find someone who can give you their undivided attention. Good Luck

Lucky098 · Jul 12, 2010, 01:34 PM

You're obviously not happy with his temperament. Why stick around? Find someone who you can enjoy being around and who WANTS to be around you. If he always seems like he has better things to do then you need to start finding better things to do as well.. I believe that if someone wants to spend time with you, they will make the time, not schedule you in during periods of down time.

Do yourself a favor and move on. You two aren't compatible. Nothing wrong with that. Live and learn ;)

positiveparent · Jul 12, 2010, 02:45 PM

I would try to talk to him about this.

2months is hardly time enough to be saying you love him, and far too soon to be having doubts too.

If you cannot get to talk to him over this then maybe you would be right to end it.

Bottom line its your life you have to choose how you live it and who you share your affections and time with, if this boy isn't making you feel happy, then tell him and find one who will.

However its your responsibility to have a happy life, its not a b/fs place to entertain you or you him.