[justme5561]

Look I am already down I am 54 year old server for a career I work for waffle house for josh sake. I am tired all the time,then my husband will not get up to get himself a cup of coffee. Then tonight my daughter and I had words I am depressed and I know it. I can't afford the medican and I am tired all the time my house is in a total disaster until I can't find anything.

[Jake2008]

I'm not sure what you want help with.

Do you want to see your husband and your daughter do more? Are they employed too? You say you are tired, and imply that you are fed up with everything, but why do you need medication.

When there are three adults living in one home, there should be expectations toward each person as to what their duties and responsibilities are. If you are fetching coffee for your husband, please tell me why he can't get his own coffee. I presume that if he can't even do that much, you have allowed him to rely on you for everything else.

If you can provide a bit more detail on your daughter- her age, occupation etc. and your husband, and what they do or don't do, and what you have already tried to change the situation in your home, it would most likely result in more helpful answers.

[cdad]

justme5561 : Ok my husband is retired truck driver. 2 my daughter does not live with us she has her own family. I guess my husbands 1st wife of 38 yrs has showed or trained him that the wife does everything she died in 2004 and she didn't work he did all the work

{please use the "answer this question"}

Hes never to old to learn new tricks. You need to explain it to him that if he is the one that is home and you're the one at work you have a reversed role from his previous wife. If he is staying home he can do things around the house besides making a mess etc. If you don't have a dishwasher get one. If he can rinse and hit the dishwasher then that's one less chore. He needs to respect you and your role in the relationship.

[Jake2008]

If he's retired, he has time to take on different responsibilities. Retirement doesn't mean a free ride and maid service.

I would rather face cleaning a house rather than driving thousands of miles on busy highways. He will see it is easier, and makes you much happier.

Unless he is challenged in some way- physically, he should be able, and should expect to help out.

Try having another talk with him. Tell him specifically what you need him to do. Make a list, post in on the fridge, things to do Monday to Friday, each day. Give him a chance to see that you are serious (finally), and if things don't improve with simple changes, you're going to insist on marriage counselling.