[nice_guy]

Hi!

I'm a 27-year-old bisexual guy, and I'd like you to give some advice on my erectile dysfunction.

It seems to me that I can hardly have a hard-on with a girl. I have done sex to them twice so far (during the first time, I got it up only through receiving a blow job from her; the other time I was in fact feeling a bit out of sorts); whereas with guys, I get erect much more easily, but I don't like sex with them (with women once I'm stiff, I maintain erection and perform perfectly well- well, at least, the first time). I have also had sex with guys a couple of times. The point is that I don't feel fulfilled with them.

I'm well aware that my problem is psychological. Also, I usually get a hard-on with girls when I watch straight porn, or when receive a blow job from them. With guys, I guess it's more of a physical nature or some fantasy.

What do you suggest that I do, as this situation has really been barring my relationships with girls (that's why I haven't sexually active), and the desire to have a family.


Thanks!

[Synnen]

I suggest you first see a medical doctor to rule out any physical problems.

I agree with you, though--I think it's mental. You should really probably see a counselor who specializes in sexuality.

There are really too many factors that may be an issue for us to guess what may or may not be happening.

[Cat1864]

How emotionally involved have you been with the women you have had sex with?

For some people there has to an emotional attachment to really enjoy sex.

[nice_guy]

Thanks for your replies (to you, and Synnen)!

Well, it was more a one-night stand with both of them. However, the emotional attachment to girls (surely, not all) is not a problem. Whereas, with guys I don't feel emotionally connected (maybe I just like talking to them, nothing much).
I don't know how long this anxiety is going to interfere with my erection. As a consequence, I'm afraid of thinking about stable relationships/marriage?

Do you think my fear of erection is irrational (or this is something normal for a bi guy)?
I mean, what should I do to remedy my situation?

Thanks again!

[CravenMorhead]

What should you do about it? Stop worrying about it. It is going to give you performance anxiety.

Sex includes a wide variety of different things including, fingering, oral, mutual masturbation, thigh sex, boob sex, and wide range of other acts. Be comfortable and don't let it enter your mind. Let your body take the natural course and I am sure it will perform in manner suggested in the owners manual.

If you can drop the mental stigma that seems to be surrounding your sex life it will get better. If it doesn't see a doctor. There might be a health issue or two behind this.

[Synnen]

I personally think you focusing FAR too much on being bi, and not enough on the fact that you have problems with your penis.

These two issues are not necessarily linked, which is why I suggested first a doctor then a counselor.

Since you are aware that part of the problem is psychological--my next suggestion is to just stop thinking about it so much! I'm sure that much of the problem is performance anxiety.

How about just enjoying what's going on at the moment, and stop thinking about what might or might not happen with your penis?

[nice_guy]

Ok, thanks Synnen again!

[nice_guy]

Thanks for your opinion!