[famenoth]

In college at the moment and been through 2 semesters with a girl that I cannot stop thinking of. We started hanging out and we use to go out and when asked I only respond saying that we are only friends which I realize in her face that she wasn't pleased with the answer I gave back... she always called me for help and I always made sure I am present to her every calls, did everything for her even if it meant sacrificing my grades... I don't know whether she was using me like people always do or wanted to truly be around me... it's weird how she only calls me when she needs help and at times a connection can be felt... just found out yesterday that she's in a relationship and it hurts me cause I did everything right.. then again she never called or text me ever since summer started.. I'll have to face her again next semester and don't know whether I should just walk away from it all or be a friend which is hard for me!

[Helpacangurl]

I think its not fair to you. I think you should flat out tell her how you feel. If she is using you then she will "run". But if she feels anything she will let you know. Don't be the push over guy, there were many guys that I found out now that I have a familly that they had feelings, but it was too late! So what I have to say is don't be late on this its never a wrong time just to say I like you!! I know from experience (me being ablivious" that that one guy should had said something, my life and his would have been a lot different!

[positiveparent]

I think you've been too helpful and available to this girl, basically as above poster says don't be a push over, don't be willing to drop everything if and when she calls or wants you to help her with something.

If you want to date this girl ask her just say it, she can either say yes or no.

You do also need to let her know that you don't mind helping her but she's also got to help herself. Also you shouldn't sacrifice your own grades.

You do need to command some respect from her, or anyone else for that matter, its fine being a nice helpful guy but when you go from helpful to used it's a different ball game, you need to let her know how you feel and see how she reacts.

Good Luck.

She taking your good nature for granted and that's not healthy.

[Devorameira]

I’m confused, were you truly dating or just hanging out as friends?

She may have wanted a romantic relationship with you, but you may have ruined it by not referring to her as your girlfriend, but instead just calling her “a friend”.

She may have felt that you didn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with her, especially with you telling her that you two were “only friends”. If she felt like you two were only “friends” (like you told her), then she had every right to get in a romantic relationship with someone else.

If a romantic relationship with her is what you actually wanted, then you should have made it clear.

She’s already taken now, but you could remain as friends with her next semester, just don’t be as available to do things for her, unless you want to try and build a real relationship with her someday.

[famenoth]

@Devorameira I was scared to say she is my girl cause of rejection... I now look back and seeing how things played out... and I am not the most perfect person here to make good judgments on what others are thinking... I Love her unconditionally no matter what she have done to me!. I am just not the type of person to say NO to someone especially if it's someone I love... I'm too kind hearted and timid or shy to say anything!. I guess that's my problem cause I just can't say no or be mean to anyone no matter how huge the pain burden upon me get... I always have a heart for forgiving... :(... thanks for the advise guys.. really gave me motivation cause now I realize it's not for me to change her, it's for me to change me!

[talaniman]

You don't have to be mean to say NO. Just don't let helping others, hurt what you are supposed to be doing.

I think you had many opportunities to find out where you stood with her, but fear got in the way. Love yourself more to protect your own interests, and never be afraid to clear the air, and get the facts of the matter.

You can be a good guy, without being too nice about it.