[cutebabegirl]

So I know this is really embarrassing to admit, but I'm desperate. I've talked to my girlfriends and know one seems to understand, or know what to do. My boyfriend and I rarely ever have sex. I mean we've been together for almost a year and a half now, and we've literally gone months without having sex. (We are both in college, young, and fit. He was a virgin when we met, I wasn't.) And when we do have sex.. well its not amazing. He usually doesn't even ejaculate, and when we have sex it definantly lacks passion. Hes not really the romantic or smooth type.. kind of dorky. However, we have a wonderful relationship, we never argue, we get along perfectly, and we are literally best friends. I love him & what we have, but I am miserable, sexually. We have talked about this over, and over, and he always promises me it'll get better. But it hasn't goten better. He just never seems to really, really want to have sex. I have a high sex drive, I'm five two at one hundred and ten lbs. I feel like it's important to say that I'm pretty attractive and have a nice body. My boyfriend gives me lots of affection, but when it comes to sex, its just not there. I'm afraid I might resort to cheating. Again (ex boyfriend, long story.) Sometimes, when we haven't had sex in a while, I'll put on a sexy outfit, and he'll ask me to lay next to him. I will, & in about three minutes he'll fall asleep. Fml-__-. I don't know what to do anymore, I've had other sexual partners in the past & I've never, ever had this problem. I'm sad, & miserable, and if ever he does want to have sex, all I want to do is cry. Please help. I don't think he'll have the balls to get checked out by a doctor.. so I don't know :/

[dwilyn]

I think your last comment is where you should start. Low libido (sex drive)often has physiological origins so a thorough checkup by his family doc could rule out a lot of possible physiological reasons.
Another avenue to explore is sexual confusion on his part. Is he confused about his own sexual orientation? Is he attracted to both men and women, only women? If he is sexually confused then therapy to help him sort out where his comfort zone is will probably help.
What kinds of relationships has he had in the past? He was a virgin when he met you so the extent of his sexual experience has been with you. Is it possible that your sex drive intimidates him? Has he had other girl friends? What kind of relationship does he have with his own family, with the people he works with? Does he have many friends? Both sexes?

My final suggestion is that you consider joint counselling with a therapist who specializes in relationships and sexual dysfunction. Could help both of you.
Good luck.
Dwilyn

[talaniman]

Ya think being a virgin he doesn't know what to do? Show him, and maybe he is afraid of getting you pregnant.

Before you cheat, be honest, and break up with him first.

[1800proof]

Sounds like sex is a big part of a relationship for you... you try talking to him about it? He may not know what you are OK with or want. He may be intimidated by your experience or his lack of experience. Have you tried to be more 'in charge' rather than just expect him to do something when you lie down next to him? Let him know what you want, and I'm sure it will work itself out.

[kutocer]

Put on the sexy putfit again and take no for a answer, work him up duing the day. Send texts of what you would like to do, send him pics of yourself or something like that.

Kiss and touch his neck and other sensitive areas. Take full control of the situaion and make him ejaculate don't let him try to do it himself you do it.

I bet he is scared and doesn't know how to please you which is having a effect on how he handles it. Don't always go for sex use foreplay use it a lot, it does not always have to be about sex foreplay can be a lot of fun. Get him to play with you and you tell him where it excits you.

Look online for different things you can do together and work on it.

As Tal says don't cheat on him if he is scared or worried about pleaseing a women now if you cheat on him it will hurt him a lot if he finds out.