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EmoPrincess · Jul 2, 2010, 11:05 PM

My boyfriend is 16 years old and even though his mother owns the house, he basically lives alone while she lives with her boyfriend. She stops in every so often to stock the fridge or get things she forgot, but is rarely there. My mum told me this could be considered neglect and is illegal. Is this illegal?

The father lives an hour away and does not have primary custody of him.

J_9 · Jul 2, 2010, 11:15 PM

Yes, this could very well be considered neglect. The authorities SHOULD be contacted.

EmoPrincess · Jul 2, 2010, 11:18 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Yes, this could very well be considered neglect. The authorities SHOULD be contacted.

Thanks J

ScottGem · Jul 3, 2010, 03:19 AM

This is borderline. A 16 yr old is old enough to care for themselves. As long as food and shelter is provided and the boy knows how to reach the mom in case of emergency, that may be all that's required.

Most 16 yr old boys would LOVE this situation. So before you contact the authorities, I would certainly discuss with him what he wants. Do you think he will appreciate getting his mom in trouble?

If he is bothered by this situation, has he talked to his mom about it? I would suggest to him that he talk to a school counselor before calling family services. Do you think he would prefer being placed in foster care?

cdad · Jul 3, 2010, 03:44 AM

I agree with Scott on this one. He is being provided for and its not against state law in most places for a 16 year old to stay home alone. Also she is still highly involved. If its his worry then he needs to talk to his mom about it first. Otherwise something could snowball out of control if the system gets ahold of him.

EmoPrincess · Jul 3, 2010, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

This is borderline. A 16 yr old is old enough to care for themselves. As long as food and shelter is provided and the boy knows how to reach the mom in case of emergency, that may be all that's required.

Most 16 yr old boys would LOVE this situation. So before you contact the authorities, I would certainly discuss with him what he wants. Do you think he will appreciate getting his mom in trouble?

If he is bothered by this situation, has he talked to his mom about it? I would suggest to him that he talk to a school counselor before calling family services. Do you think he would prefer being placed in foster care?

He actually complains about it nonstop, she's been like this for a long while according to him and he says "I miss having a mom"

We were both just wondering if it is even legal that she does this, we weren't planning on turning her in or anything.

Yes, he has talked to her, but it's usually over Facebook or IM because she isn't home. She says she'll be home more and doesn't show or she tries to guilt him about how he is just upset that she has her own life. I've seen the conversations myself, so this isn't just his side.

Like I said, we were just wondering if it was even legal

ScottGem · Jul 3, 2010, 12:33 PM

I'm not sure that its illegal. Its not like she has abandoned him. She might be charged with neglect, but is that what he really wants?

EmoPrincess · Jul 3, 2010, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I'm not sure that its illegal. Its not like she has abandoned him. She might be charged with neglect, but is that what he really wants?

We didn't plan on turning her in if she could be charged. We were just curious if it was considered illegal or child neglect.