[imnotallthat]

I am pretty sure that my marriage is slowly falling apart. It is hard to know for sure but my gut tells me that things are not going well. It is hard and it takes work to be in a long term relationship. I know this - but things are so strained between us both physically and emotionally. There are some good days, some not so good days, plenty of BAD days and some pretty blah days. Is this normal for a 14 year + marriage? I don't really think anyone see's it on the outside. It is okay and it looks like a happy desirable marriage but I know that he is bored, unhappy and overall just proabably waiting for the next person that gives him a compliment, comment, come on... You name it. I worry so much that soon he will be out the door. He is my rock and I'm sure that's been a strain. I guess I need to know what to do to fix things before it's just too late.

[artlady]

Marriages can become routine and boring and you have to accept that the hearts and flowers don't last forever but something more meaningful and deeper grows as the years pass.Cling to that.

Get out and do something together,shake things up a bit.
Take a class together,something for couples.
Look into couples getaways.

Tell him how you feel.Its common to feel the way you do after so many years.Talk it out.Tell him how much he means to you everyday and keep showing him in little ways how important he is to you.

The love is easy,making the passion last does take work.
Commit yourself to doing things different and do something outrageous in the bedroom.

Role play,have some laughs and above all talk it out.

[Kitkat22]

Better and worse. Those are part of the marriage vows. It can't always be peachy and joyful. Don't worry... Sit down and have a long talk with him... Good Luck

[1800proof]

Agreed... you have to tell him what is going on in your head if you want things to get better. Things will not fix themselves.

Also, do things to make yourself happier as an individual - join a gym, take college courses, get a hobby... and keep in mind that wigs do wonders in the bedroom!

[talaniman]

Just appreciate what he does and keep the lines of honest communications going.

Sometimes though we are so worried about things becoming distant that we try to hard to get the groove back. Especially after some boring, or rough times. Learn to relax, and give enough space to not take what you have for granted, and not smother your partner.

It's a fine line to balance too much, and not enough, and after 14 years I would say paying attention to unspoken language is also important.