[runnerforever]

My boyfriend of 2 years just broke up with me, both of us were sobbing! In our relationship, we always talked about spending the rest of our lives together. He told me that no matter what I am in his future. But two days ago he told me he was under a lot of stress. He said that I was going to a college I didn't like because of him, and he was worried about me. He wants to live a “college life” with no strings attached. Then he told me that he doesn't love me nearly as much as he used to. He topped it all off with “but if it was 4 years into the future, I would be proposing to you”. So we go to the same college, and are on the same cross country team. I am heartbroken, and need help. What should I do? He wants to be friends for now, but I keep saying the wrong thing. He told me he misses me so much and wants to see me, but he said "from the bottom of his heart he knows breaking up is right." Any chance getting back together?

[Cat1864]

He made his choice. He let you go. Time to do the same for him. He sounds extremely confused about what he wants and staying in contact (other than school and sports commitments) will just keep the confusion from dissipating. No sense making yourself as confused as he is.

Don't try to stay 'friends'. Polite acquaintances will probably be better at this time.

Do try to go No Contact as much as you can. No Contact (stickie at the top of the Relationship Board can give you a lot useful information) is a tool to help you move on from the hurt and to get rid of the baggage.

I don't know what the future holds. I do know that even if you do get back together, you both will need to have put the past relationship behind you. There is no going back to the way things were.

Don't even entertain the thought of getting back with him unless you have worked through the issues that caused the break up and are committed to working together to rebuild the trust a sudden break up destroys.

Frankly, I think you need to heal and someday when you are ready find someone new.

[talaniman]

It sucks when the words and actions don't match. Count yourself lucky he showed his true colors.

But feelings can change without much input at all from a partner.