[babysteps]

My fiancé spent the weekend in excruciating pain he thought he had a fever but no temp... his back was killing him, he insisted it was way to hot even with the ac running he had no apatite and when he did force himself to eat he would vomit within the hour. This all started on Friday by Monday morning he was on his way to the hospital he started to vomit blood. He worries way too much, drinks he smokes and occasionally smokes... :confused: he also made some phone calls and got someone to bring him a couple vicodens to help with his pain.
Anyway the doctors said he probably has a stomach ulcer induced by stress, BUT, he ripped his I've out and made a scene and was escorted of the hospital property before anything else happened.

Can anyone give me some advice do I need to make him go back to... another hospital asap? Are there things he can change in his lifestyle to heal himself? What do I need to look out for?
I did do a little research on my own I'm assuming he needs to stop drinking smoking... etc. but I think I need more to convince him. I don't know what to do for him, what to tell him or how to help.

Thank you all so much in advance:(:(

[JudyKayTee]

Well, if friends keep dropping off prescription drugs which are not prescribed for him he will go to jail on felony drug charges and that will pretty much take care of the rest of things - that's a bigger problem for me than the rest of this.

You can't make anybody do anything. His lifestyle change would involve stopping drugs which are not prescribed for him, stopping drinking and smoking - but he already knows that.

He could die - drastic but possible - but he may already know that.

What can you do? You can give him a choice - stop the drinking and get medical treatment or you are out of there because you aren't going to watch him suffer. Do you have the strength to do it?

[babysteps]

I really mean no offense but I really didn't ask for relationship advice.
I'm not going to leave him with a choice like that. He is in a difficult place and the story is much longer and complicated than I have time or space to share. =/ I can't abandon him.
He is a good father, obviously when he is not doing things like this, which is not often.
I only put all that information in hoping that I could get a better reply. I realize he shouldn't be getting prescription drugs from anywhere but a doctor. I couldn't exactly stop it because I didn't know until after the fact. However, by sharing that bit of information I was hoping someone would say "hey that is one of those things that will only make it worse." Granted you did stress how serious of an offense it is, but I'm sure he already realizes it isn't legal. =[
Believe me, I know I can't make him do anything, he is as stubborn as a mule, but if I can show him how serious this is I can convince him to do the right thing.
All the websites I've found so far only tell me what the ulcer is, not how serious, not how to deal with it day to day.
So if you by chance can point me in the direction of a really good website that I maybe didn't see before, I would truly appreciate it.

thank you again and I'm sorry for the attitude. I'm sure you meant well.

[JudyKayTee]

When you post information on a public board and ask for input, you cannot even attempt to dictate who will answer and in what fashion. In fact, your post is pretty much against AMHD rules concerning attempting to direct the board.

That having been said - you can't make anybody do anything. I'm sure he's well aware of his actions and how he is destroying his health. Do you really think finding a website for him to read will change anything? If you truly can't figure out what changes he needs to make in his lifestyle then little anyone can say can help you.

Good fathers don't take controlled substances which are not prescribed for them; good fathers don't behave the way this man is behaving. Selfish people do.

No one is going to say, "Hey, taking someone else's prescription drugs is going to make it worse." This makes me think he also needs some new friends.

You want him to stop drinking? Try the AA site. You want him to stop drugging? Try the DA site. You want information on bleeding ulcers? Google the term.

I think you are lying to yourself and not seeing what is going on here.

[babysteps]

OK OK I'm sorry I think this is maybe getting twisted somehow. He doesn't do stuff like this all the time he isn't a regular drinker, drug user. He was in pain with no health insurance and was desperate for an alternative.
I'm really sorry for causing a disturbance amongst the page. I was scared and looking for something hopeful. This is obviously not the place to do it. So no worries you won't hear from me anymore. I'm gone.
It's easy to judge from behind a computer screen, try to step into my shoes and see how long you last.
Have a good life.

[Curlyben]

Sounds very much what I get from time to time.
I find a large dose of Ranitidine (Zantac) does the trick: Ranitidine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[N0help4u]

You know my neighborhood every other person is a walking drug store. I don't know what keeps half of them alive trading uppers, downers and who knows what all. Then there are others that just dabble in drugs and they end up with the health problems, go to jail do not pass or die. People don't understand how drugs effect them on so many levels that if they did know they would quit. He should talk to Dr. Pompa about how everything is either a positive spin or a negative spin and you tear down your mitochondria, ATP and alter your entire cellular structure from what it was intended and how it has adverse effects on you that you don't even notice until way too late.

[N0help4u]

Also tell him that baby playing the drums should be all the motivation in the world.

[JudyKayTee]

ok ok im sorry i think this is maybe getting twisted somehow. He doesn't do stuff like this all the time he isn't a regular drinker, drug user. He was in pain with no health insurance and was desperate for an alternative.
I'm really sorry for causing a disturbance amongst the page. I was scared and looking for something hopeful. This is obviously not the place to do it. So no worries you wont hear from me anymore. I'm gone.
It's easy to judge from behind a computer screen, try to step into my shoes and see how long you last.
Have a good life.

You know nothing about me or where I've been so let's not even talk about judging anyone.

You are the typical poster who doesn't hear what she wants to hear and storms off. I GUARANTEE you aren't gone forever. In fact, I'll bet money on it.

No, I wouldn't be in your shoes because I wouldn't put up with this type of nonsense from a "fiance," nor would I justify his behavior or consider him to be a "good father."

For the record - I had a bleeding ulcer; I had surgery some years ago; it was not a pleasant experience so maybe I do know what that pain is like. I hemorrhaged and it was touch and go for a while - so, yes, maybe I do know something about the subject. And, yes, I had to change my lifestyle and habits.

[babysteps]

You seemed more interested in having your own opinion telling me to get rid of him and how awful he is than actually answering my question.
You are right I don't know anything about your life where you have been or what you've seen but you know as much about me. If I wanted relationship or legal advice I would've posted elsewhere. I guess it doesn't matter what forum I actually posted in cause people like you reply however you want anyway.
I'm not storming off I would just rather not argue with you. Since you brought it up you seem like the typical poster that just posts to feel like something they've said is of value, because you feel undervalued in day to day life. I don't know.

I'm very sorry you experienced medical trauma like that I can only begin to imagine what it feels like. I know watching and caring for my fiancé over the weekend was hard and I wouldn't want to go through it.
I wish you would have shared some of that experience in the first place.
What sort of changes did you have to make what foods can you eat is it different for everyone or basically the same? Those are some answers that would've been nice to read.

I really don't care to continue this spat or whatever it is any farther and hopefully you are adult enough to want to do the same.

[JudyKayTee]

Google search - this is a partial list. There are dozens of others. If you cannot find them, please post and I will find them for you.

Stomach Ulcers diets: easy tips on what to eat and what not to eat

Peptic Ulcers - Good Foods for Peptic Ulcers - Bad Foods for Peptic Ulcers

Ulcers: What You Can Do to Heal Your Ulcer -- familydoctor.org

Stomach Ulcer Diet

[Wondergirl]

He ripped out his IV and made a scene and was escorted out of the hospital? He smokes and drinks? The doctor THOUGHT it might be an ulcer? Weren't tests run? Last September I was hospitalized with severe anemia and almost immediately a specialist did an esophagogastroduodenoscopy (EGD) that determined I had two bleeding ulcers. Nexium was prescribed. The OTC med is called Prilosec.

When I got out of the hospital three days later, I was given lists of foods to eat and foods to avoid. The ones to avoid included alcohol, aspirin (not a food but rips up the stomach and intestines), tobacco (smoking), nuts, seeds like poppy seeds and sesame seeds on buns and rolls, tomatoes in any form, raw vegetables, citrus fruits, anything spicy or hot. (You can find similar lists on the Internet.) The foods I could eat were those that would be kind to my digestive system like oatmeal, scrambled eggs, cream soups, milk, rice, puddings of all kinds. Here's a site that gives ideas for safe foods --

The Ulcer-Friendly Diet - Peptic Ulcer Diet - Diet for Stomach Ulcers - Diet for Duodenal Ulcers

His symptoms don't match mine. I'm wondering if something else is going on inside of him in addition to ulcers or instead of them. I really wish he would allow a doctor to follow up on his problems and have the EDG and maybe a colonoscopy done. And oh, I was told that I could have died from the anemia that was caused by the ulcers. Would the possibility of death scare him enough to get some medical help? Of course, that would mean he would have to clean up his life by stopping smoking and drinking too.

Don't forget -- as much as you want to help him, only he can make any changes in his life. All you can do, if he continues to be so stubborn, is watch him get worse and eventually die from blood loss and related problems.

[babysteps]

Thank you wondergirl I'm sorry and I hope you are doing much better these days.
And JudyKayTee I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot I read some of your comments and more often than not you are truly helpful.
I am not typically an aggressive person and I am sorry for the way I handled it. Thank you for the links.

Do either of you still have to follow a specific diet?

[Wondergirl]

Do either of you still have to follow a specific diet?

If I don't want ulcers again, I have to follow this diet for the rest of my life.

By the way, I was forced to retire from my job because of the prolonged illness and several hospital visits over a period of months. Ulcers are nothing to mess around with. And if he has more than that or something different from that, God help him!

[DrBill100]

You indicate he was vomiting blood. How much? Also the source of the back pain. Chronic? Injury, etc. and location? Was it the back pain or abdominal pains that required medication?

Equally important was what precipitated his removal of IV and the conduct which necessitated his removal from hospital?

The symptoms you mentioned don't necessarily point to a stomach ulcer. Did you fail to mention other factors that came up during exam or discussion?

[babysteps]

he only vomited blood once as far as I know. He said the back pain felt like he was being stabbed repeatedly along his spine. I'm pretty sure he only wanted relief from the back pain. I know he tried Excedrin Back and body and other extra strength meds but he said they weren't helping. He ate maybe 3 times the entire time he was home and couldn't keep it down.

I really don't know the details of what transpired at the hospital. He is currently in another state and I couldn't be there. I think they may have gotten some x-rays done. I wouldv'e been there if I could and kept him there till we knew everything was OK. Him being alive and well is more important than the outrageous bill that would follow. I imagine they are going to charge him for the time he spent there anyway. He won't be home till Friday. I know I can do more once he comes home again.

-fatigue and weakness
-excruciating back pain
-sore all over (that may be work related though)
-no apitite upset stomach
-low body temp but he said it was generally hot
-vomiting and at least once recently blood
-sore throat (he said he thinks he has strep as well. I didn't know this before)

[babysteps]

It's possible he may not have mentioned everything he was feeling he slept most of the time he was home. The next time I talked to him he was already in the hospital and it was only for a minute.

[DrBill100]

Was the back pain of recent onset? Was the blood expelled a small amount, or was his vomit mostly blood? How do you know body temp was low? Also please provide his age.

[JudyKayTee]

I'd like to add - why was he on IV's? Some type of testing/diagnosing must have been done.

Also - ulcer triggers for me are anything acidic and alcohol. I can handle spicey foods, always could.

[babysteps]

the back pain wasn't until at least this past week.
I took his temp it was at 95.4 I suppose it's not that low but it seemed so for him he usually emits heat.
he says there was about a black coffee cup full and it was crimson.
he is 25.
I think they got some x-rays done and were getting ready to do more before he... left.