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chrisdaniels · Jun 28, 2010, 04:25 PM

I also discovered something about myself today.
Throughout most of our relationship, I did a lot of things to please her, which is normal, but I think I was too nice.
I think that she lost interest, got bored, wasn't challenged enough, probably thought that she had "tamed me" for a lack of better words.
I now the saying "nice guys finish last" and I am not changing who I am unless I want to for myself, but would it help to not be so nice?

Kitkat22 · Jun 28, 2010, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by chrisdaniels

I also discovered something about myself today.
throughout most of our relationship, i did a lot of things to please her, which is normal, but i think i was too nice.
i think that she lost intrest, got bored, wasn't challenged enough, probally thought that she had "tamed me" for a lack of better words.
i now the saying "nice guys finish last" and i am not changing who i am unless i want to for myself, but would it help to not be so nice?

Be nice but don't be a doormat.

talaniman · Jun 28, 2010, 04:34 PM

would it help to not be so nice?

How about just focus on being a good human being who loves themselves enough, not to take any one bad behavior?

Kitkat22 · Jun 28, 2010, 04:35 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How about just focus on being a good human being who loves themselves enough, not to take any one bad behavior?

I started to say those exact words.:rolleyes:

chrisdaniels · Jun 28, 2010, 04:37 PM

Ok, that's what I was thinking, now if I can ask another question.

I know that you can't "make" someone like you, but in my situation, is there anything I can do in order to not have her completely forget about me? We haven't talked for about a month, but I fear that not talking to her for too long will give her the impression that I don't want to talk to her ever. I have been doing my own things, staying busy and whatnot, and I know that I have lost her (possibly only for now) but is there anything that I should do, such as call her and tell her that I respect her decision and will give her space, or call her to ask how she has been?

Kitkat22 · Jun 28, 2010, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by chrisdaniels

Ok, thats what i was thinking, now if i can ask another question.

I know that you can't "make" someone like you, but in my situation, is there anything i can do in order to not have her completely forget about me? We haven't talked for about a month, but i fear that not talking to her for too long will give her the impression that i don't want to talk to her ever. I have been doing my own things, staying busy and whatnot, and i know that i have lost her (possibly only for now) but is there anything that i should do, such as call her and tell her that i respect her decision and will give her space, or call her to ask how she has been?

NC... that means no calling , texting anything. This girl doesn't care. Why bother?

BWK10 · Jun 28, 2010, 04:43 PM

Oh, looking back how do you ever remind me of myself. From a guy who has been going through this same thing, twice this year already... let her forget about you, and forget about her. There is nothing wrong with remembering good times, but leave her alone and go NC, entirely. If you guys had good times together, and she really did care about you... she will remember you, regardless if your split.

Don't call her, talk to her, email her, just don't talk to her at all. I use to go around town hoping to bump into her so I could jag the memory of my ex if she saw me and she would want me back. What a waste of gas and money that was, never worked... pretty dumb idea too, lol. Just let her go man.

chrisdaniels · Jun 28, 2010, 04:44 PM

You don't think that she is not caring now, but might realize she made a mistake later? If so , why? Normally when people make a mistake, they don't care at first, but then re-evaluate what happened and look at it differently. Or am I wrong?

talaniman · Jun 28, 2010, 04:46 PM

Do your own thing, and if you don't know what that is, find out and stay NC, as far as she is concerned.

BWK10 · Jun 28, 2010, 04:56 PM

You leave her alone and let her think she made the mistake, cause she did. You leave them thinking, for all you know two years down the road she shows up on your doorstep, the thing is... you'll be over her, moved on and won't want anything to do with her. Trust me, she needs TIME... and TIME isn't just a month (trust me on recent experience, recent as in two days)... she needs like a year.

Kitkat22 · Jun 28, 2010, 05:01 PM

What part of NC do you not understand? This girl fooled around with who knows how many guys and you still want to check on her and see how she's doing? I'm sure she's doing anybody she can.

How in the world can you have
Any self respect and still want this woman? She used you, she cheated, she lied.

She doesn't want you because you do not have any backbone or you would tell her where to get off.

I think you need help. She has you jumping through hoops and doing her bidding, while she sleeps with whoever is around.

Unbelievable!