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stbmrsd · Jun 26, 2010, 09:07 PM

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. . - Lamentations 3:22-23
If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to your mountain, "MOVE!" and it WILL move... and NOTHING will be impossible for YOU! - Matthew 17:20

Kitkat22 · Jun 26, 2010, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. . - Lamentations 3:22-23
If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you will say to your mountain, "MOVE!" and it WILL move... and NOTHING will be impossible for YOU! - Matthew 17:20

This verse has helped me through so much.

Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
In My Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am ye may be also. John: 14: 1-3.

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 07:56 AM

Thank you...
I slept very little last night even taking pills to sleep I was up off and on .
Today I got ready like any other day .But I wait for the call .If he is as good of man as I believe he is even if he is going to call everything off he will come here to do so . But I am waiting on the call . I have decided that in fact this is the break up call and I am only going on my gut feeling no facts really that I will take it in stride tell him I understand and I know he has a lot on his plate right now and this was just bad timing. Im going to say it but I am going to hate every word coming out of my mouth as I know I love him and I want to share my world with him . But I know I pushed to hard lesson learned and I know I scared him off.
I know though when he ask me to marry him I was the happiest women on earth that very moment and if in fact I pushed him then that was the reason . The getting married fast was his idea but then calling it off was his idea . Then I took over with the pushing my bad idea . Anyway off to get dressed and who knows what until he calls .
Pray for me I need strength and wisdom control and peace... I give all the glory to God

Homegirl 50 · Jun 27, 2010, 08:11 AM

I hope all goes well for you today.
But you know it could be that he has not been completely honest. Don't you shoulder all of the blame. He is a grown man and can say no.
I hope he was not playing a game with you.

At any rate you will be in my prayers today.

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 10:10 AM

Still no call nothing

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 11:44 AM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

still no call nothing

Don't call him... Let him make the next move... Please.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 27, 2010, 02:20 PM

I'd give him a couple of days and then ask him "what's up?"
He can at least be up front and honest. He's a grown man, not some teen who's too afraid to talk.

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I'd give him a couple of days and then ask him "what's up?"
He can at least be up front and honest. He's a grown man, not some teen who's too afraid to talk.

You're right Homegirl... It's better to know now and have some dignity.. then to call and ask why this or why that. Don't call.:rolleyes:

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 03:39 PM

I text that I was worried and hoped everyone is OK . I got nothing back .

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 03:42 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

I text that I was worried and hoped everyone is ok . I got nothing back .

Then you have your answer. He doesn't want to tell you face to face. Please, please don't text or call. I think he's trying to tell you it's not going to happen. I hope I'm wrong. Every time you try to contact him the more cornered he's going to feel. NC.

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 04:46 PM

He replyed just now and said I have been soul searching and just needed alone time. I will call you in the morning .Promise don't have time to talk tonight .
My reply was I hope you found some peace .

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

He replyed just now and said I have been soul searching and just needed alone time. I will call you in the morning .Promise dont have time to talk tonight .
My reply was I hope you found some peace .

Hang on and wait till you hear what he has to say. Stay NC until he calls.

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 06:36 PM

Yeah nc is how I will remain from now on Even if he is doing soul searching he could have emailed me something he knows me all to well . He text one more after that later said like he always does "on my way to work ..love " not I love you like before just Love I didn't reply thought it was silly and not worth my typing time . Im a little angry tonight

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 06:37 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

yeah nc is how I will remain from now on Even if he is doing soul searching he could of emailed me something he knows me all to well . He text one more after that later said like he always does "on my way to work ..love " not I love you like before just Love I didnt reply thought it was silly and not worth my typing time . Im a little angry tonight

Love That Ring... KEEP IT.
Stay angry and don't clall him tomorrow. See how he likes it!:mad:

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 07:02 PM

The ring is lovely isn't it ;) I am angry for so many reason's pin pointing one of them would be very hard but the text with the word love not love you ticked me off I mean we all know when you love someone you don't treat them this way so I guess he just took the you out of it to make himself feel better.
Then I looked at his face book and someone posted I here your looking for a new house in Lex WTH guess there is a lot of solo searching going on . His kid is going to school in Lex let the child have a life don't follow her to collage for goodness sakes only crazy mom's do that crap . Anyway we shall see if he calls in the morning like he promised but I don't think I will hold my breath

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 07:07 PM

Originally Posted by stbmrsd

The ring is lovely isnt it ;) I am angry for so many reason's pin pointing one of them would be very hard but the text with the word love not love you ticked me off I mean we all know when you love someone you dont treat them this way so I guess he just took the you out of it to make himself feel better.
Then I looked at his face book and someone posted I here your looking for a new house in Lex WTH guess there is alot of solo searching going on . His kid is going to school in Lex let the child have a life dont follow her to collage for goodness sakes only crazy mom's do that crap . anyway we shall see if he calls in the morning like he promised but I dont think I will hold my breath

I think you should remain calm when you talk to him. If he text, don't answer. Break up with him before he does with you. If he loves you then give him time to miss you. Just an idea.

aimee_tt · Jun 27, 2010, 07:25 PM

I think kits right. I think you should tell him that you don't have forever to wait. That either he gives an answer soon or you will have to let him go. As you can not wait forever. If this was a relationship of 5 years... sure give him all the times he needs... But it wasn't and you can move on. But waiting for him isn't going you any good. Its just painfull and if he breaks up with you its pain for nothing. He asked you to marry him. He stopped it. Yes you may have pushed him but you wouldn't have had to if he had of just made his mind up to begin with Before playing with yours.

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 07:33 PM

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). And that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop ing and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.

And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.. . And that it is your right to want things that you want. And that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. And in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. And that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.

You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. By yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

~Virginia Swift~

Kitkat22 · Jun 27, 2010, 07:35 PM

Keep on thinking this way!

stbmrsd · Jun 27, 2010, 07:38 PM

Breaking up isn't something I really want to do no matter who does it , I just think I may be worth more to him then I am giving him credit for maybe soul searching that he did lead his heart to mine . I don't know I can only assume and we all tend to think the worst . I would like to think I am a pretty good catch I have tons of love to give this man and I am a good person why wouldn't he want me ?
Maybe I need to think about why I wouldn't or would want him huh ?let me think about it and I will write in a few . Do the pros and con game ;)