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Vcamacho · Jun 26, 2010, 10:02 AM

We are both in the military, we broke up around the time I found out I was pregnant, he deployed and I stayed back, he came back when my daughter was 6 months old, she's 11 months old now, I applied for child support and I told him I was going to do so, he didn't seem upset or anything, he just asked that I didn't ask for back child support, I agreed because I didn't want problems with him and I wanted my child and her father to have a good relationship.

It's been 2 and a half months since we finalized everything, he got a DNA test and all... *Keep in mind I haven't received a penny of that child support yet* for the past 2 months or so he has been texting me about how I shouldn't have had her if I didn't want to deal with the financial responsabilities on my own, that it was MY decision to have her and he shouldn't have to pay for MY choice of becoming a single mother. He saw her a few times, over a month passed without him even asking about her, and last weekend, same thing happened, texting about how he shouldn't pay, I was his biggest mistake, it was MY decision... he wanted to take her the next day and I refused, he said, if you don't like the way I'm doing this, let me give up parental rights to stop the CS *that I have not received yet*

He now tells me he will give up his parental rights to stop child support and asks if I will signed them, I said yes, only because I am truly afraid of how he could treat my child, she is not old enough to tell me if he's hurting her, I do not want to wait until she comes home seriously hurt or worst... what can I do?

cdad · Jun 26, 2010, 10:30 AM

You go to court and deal with it. You picked him now its your responsibility to make the best of it. He can't just sign away his rights.

Kitkat22 · Jun 26, 2010, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by califdadof3

You go to court and deal with it. You picked him now its your responsibility to make the best of it. He can't just sign away his rights.

Don't let your anger at him deprive the little girl of support and maybe later on a relationship with her father. You are making it way to easy for him. My saying is "When you play , you pay". This child did not ask to be brought here, you and her dad need to come to some sort of understanding. Child support is needed, don't let him escape his responsibility's.

Vcamacho · Jun 26, 2010, 11:09 AM

It is not my anger, or me trying to avoid the situation... He is now angry and DOES NOT want a relationship with my child, as a child of separated parents, who had a great childhood, my intention at first was for them to have a relationship, now I'm afraid of her getting hurt.

Kitkat22 · Jun 26, 2010, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by Vcamacho

It is not my anger, or me trying to avoid the situation... He is now angry and DOES NOT want a relationship with my child, as a child of seperated parents, who had a great childhood, my intention at first was for them to have a relationship, now I'm afraid of her getting hurt.

In time , if he has a heart and feelings he may learn to be a good Dad. Don't let him off the hook as far as child support goes. Whether he wants a relationship or not , make him pay child support. What do his parents say about all this? Look you didn't conceive this child by yourself,
He is the father and he should have to pay support.

Vcamacho · Jun 26, 2010, 11:18 AM

That's what I need help with! I don't really want him to give up his rights, but he does not want to pay and he has hinted that he will pick her up out of spite, he hasn't seen her, but he will just to get back at me for making him pay, I agree with you, he will regret this and will want to be a dad towards her, but right now, I'm not OK with him taking her because he's mad at me.

Kitkat22 · Jun 26, 2010, 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by Vcamacho

That's what I need help with!! I don't really want him to give up his rights, but he does not want to pay and he has hinted that he will pick her up out of spite, he hasn't seen her, but he will just to get back at me for making him pay, I agree with you, he will regret this and will want to be a dad towards her, but right now, I'm not ok with him taking her because he's mad at me.

There are people on this forum who know about the law. I myself do not. Most of them will see this and I'm sure you will get some good advice.. OK?:)

Kitkat22 · Jun 26, 2010, 11:25 AM

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cdad · Jun 26, 2010, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by Vcamacho

That's what I need help with!! I don't really want him to give up his rights, but he does not want to pay and he has hinted that he will pick her up out of spite, he hasn't seen her, but he will just to get back at me for making him pay, I agree with you, he will regret this and will want to be a dad towards her, but right now, I'm not ok with him taking her because he's mad at me.

Its not a matter of his wants. It's a matter of following the laws. As they are written both parents are to share in the responsibilities of the child. So go and file for it. There are local agencies if your in the U.S. that will assist you and you won't even need a lawyer for it. It's a free service. If he wants visitation then let him ask for it in court. But you need to get the custody situation settled now. There is no waiting on getting this done. The ones that help with child support only deal with that so your going to have to file separate papers for the custody issue.

cdad · Jun 26, 2010, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Read This..
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/scottgem

Corrected addy.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/members/scottgem.html

Fr_Chuck · Jun 26, 2010, 05:11 PM

He can not just sign his rights over to get out of support, it can't happen, so just forget it, So he does not want anything to do with child, he does not have to.