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AliG · Jun 6, 2010, 08:20 AM

My girlfriend and I have been dating for at least a year. She's everything I could have asked for, but there is one problem. She seems to have a terribly low sex drive. At the beginning of our relationship, we didn't start having sex until 5 months in. She was the girl I lost my virginity to, and I wouldn't want to have lost it with anyone else. It's just, she never seems in the mood at all.. She rather play her games, or chat on the phone with her girlfriends, or just watch TV. It comes to the point where I feel like I have to beg for it, and that makes no fun for me. I even sat her down and talked about this and she did admit she has a lower sex drive. I don't want you guys to think I'm a sex addict, I only try to have sex maybe 1-2 times a week! I do all that romantic stuff as well... buy her flowers, dinner, etc (not doing that for sex). I just feel when we have sex, she only does it because she feels it's a chore. Just the other day, I was making out with her and started to put my hands down there and managed to get it in for a good amount of time, she also started to put her hands down on me too, but randomly stops and says I got to do laundry... we're only 20. Please help

Homegirl 50 · Jun 6, 2010, 11:00 AM

You two need to have a conversation. It could be she is just not turned on by you.
Or maybe the relationship has run it's course.
Have the conversation. Avoiding it will not make it go away.

ZoeMarie · Jun 25, 2010, 11:22 AM

OK so you two have talked about this and agreed that there is a problem. This is good, however, it sounds like you guys didn't talk about how to fix this problem. I would talk to her and see what she thinks is a good way to handle this. Is she stressed out at all? Does she have any anxiety issues or depression that she's dealing with? Did something happen in her past?

talaniman · Jun 25, 2010, 04:50 PM

Lack of sex is a symptom of other issues in other areas of your relationship. Be it a disconnection on a physical, mental, spiritual plane or the lack of honest communications, there is an underlying issue to be dealt with when the laundry is more important than the making love.

I just feel when we have sex, she only does it because she feels it's a chore.

Hmmm maybe because you think that its good for you, its not so good for her. It could be a fear of pregnancy, the wrong time of the month, or her doing her duty, or as simple as bad hygiene. Whatever it is, pay attention, and find out. Without being aggressive, or immature about it.