[Kitkat22]

Well I'll give you a clue.
You don't stop dating once you're engaged and you don't stop once you're married.

Yep!

[stbmrsd]

Well I'll give you a clue.
You don't stop dating once you're engaged and you don't stop once you're married.

I do beleave that's what I said


Just don't want to down play the fact he ask me to marry him I said yes it's a much bigger commitment to me then chk yes or no

[Kitkat22]

Just dont want to down play the fact he ask me to marry him I said yes it's a much bigger commitment to me then chk yes or no

We know and buy those socks... :D It will work out and you will be happy. I just feel that.

[stbmrsd]

Here we go another day lets see how it unfolds ;)

[Kitkat22]

Here we go another day lets see how it unfolds ;)

I hope you have a good day... Kit:)

[stbmrsd]

No I already messed things up before 10 am so I will write about it later Im just drained :/ I will write after he calls on his way to work if he calls at all that's how bad I screwed up.. Me and my stupid feelings grrrrrrrr

[Kitkat22]

No I already messed things up before 10 am so I will write about it later Im just drained :/ I will write after he calls on his way to work if he calls at all thats how bad I screwed up..Me and my stupid feelings grrrrrrrr

Yikes! What did you do:eek:

[stbmrsd]

Well he hasn't called yet so I will give you a little detail on my Big weak moment . Since we haven't talked much all week the unknowing part is killing me .So we started talking and he said something about may having to work this weekend and how he hates how they don't tell them until Friday and what if he had made plans and all that stuff and I jokely said yeah tell them you made plans with the love of your life and he joked back who's that and I said well I hope it would be ME. And he said something and I said you wouldn't be getting married to me if I wasn't the love of your life right? And he said what if you can't marry the love of your life ? I said what do you mean ? He just said well what if that person can't marry you . I said then maybe you should tell the person your going to marry so she can move on and find the true love of her life. I said I can tell you this with out reservation that you are the love of my life now . There was times in the past I loved others but differently and you bring out the best in me . Then everything got Deep I got deep. I told him how I have been feeling like I was so unsure and that I felt like he was pulling away and I don't understand why . I said I trusted you when you ask me to marry you that you meant it and there was tons of time in between (the original wedding plans) that he could have said back up like getting the marriage license,rings,telling everyone he could have said something so I trust you when you say this is what you want. I said this is what I want that I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him . He said he loved me too. I also put on my Facebook we were engaged and he said I should have ask him 1st yes maybe I should have but I was pumped Im a girl come on lol . He didn't put it on his Facebook he said he was a private person . But before the whole getting married thing came up he would write stuff on his page and on picture and stuff but I was looking the last time he did was on June 2nd and it said you are a super and so so amazing that's the last thing he wrote in a sweet manner .He will put stuff like spending the weekend riding with me and he has pics of me and stuff , so its not like he is hiding the relationship just the fact we are getting married . I said the reason I changed mine was I was so proud to have him and I wanted the world to know I guess. Then he said I wrote stuff that he didn't reply to because he is not mushy and sweet like that .And he also said he didn't talk about his feelings well.
A little background on me so you will see why I am so insure and this is something I have worked on in the past and went to theropy for so I know the reason''s it's just hard to overcome them all . I am very needy I know this I have low self esteem not because I am over weight or ugly or any of that stuff but my father worked on the road all the time so I we were always with mom (they are still married to this day) But my mother wasn't good to me she would send me places when dad was gone he would be gone for 2 weeks at a time and the day he was to come home she would come and get me . She was always depressed and showed NO emotion unless it had to do with how bad her life sucked . She was and is a very unhappy lady . Unlike most mothers who LOVE when their children grow and do great things my mother is jealous and resents it .She is a Big time holy roller and everything I do I am going to hell for so I never felt like and still do measure up . I feel like such junk when it comes to my family ALWAYS and I live in their back yard it sucks .
My oldest son is special needs and I pour my life in to making his life better .he has a form of Autism very mild but I make sure he gets all the help that's out there so he can have a wonderful life . I have had so many break ups over my son's it's not even funny it's really sad even guys I dated for a year Plus will come to me and say they just can't handle it . I have to walk away from them because you know it's a package . So I feel like I fight this endless battle all the time . Sorry I am just rambling now just so much more there is about me I guess and I should fill you in . Please don't judge me I am doing the best I can with what I have and I just want to be happy settled and at peace and for one shinning moment I show hope . And I am holding on to this hope with all my might . I don't know if it's right or wrong I do know I love him and I want to be happy and at peace with him .When I am with him I feel at peace I feel safe I feel loved when I am not I feel empty

[Homegirl 50]

This kind of explains why you wanted to jump right into this marriage so fast.
Does he know all of this about you?

[stbmrsd]

Yes he knows everything . But honestly the reason why I want to marry him isn't because I was Jumping.. I knew with in weeks that he touched my soul like nobody ever had and he brought out a side of me that I loved and he made me feel for the 1st time like I could settle down and stop running and hiding from someone ,I felt whole if that makes since

[Kitkat22]

Yes he knows everything . But honestly the reason why I want to marry him isnt becouse I was Jumping ..I knew with in weeks that he touched my soul like nobody ever had and he brought out a side of me that I loved and he made me feel for the 1st time like I could settle down and stop running and hiding from someone ,I felt whole if that makes since

I think you need to calm down and figure out what is going to happen if this marriage doesn't take place. Does he still want to marry you or was he telling you he was in love with someone who isn't avaiable? You deserve the truth.

[Homegirl 50]

Perhaps he did mean it when he said he loved you and asked you to marry him but maybe he is still rethinking, stepping back. Maybe he thinks things are going too fast.
All you can do is talk to him. Ask him how he feels. Now is the time in the relationship where the doors of communication will be opened and walked through or closed.
Don't let hurt feelings get in the way. Talk to him.

[Kitkat22]

Perhaps he did mean it when he said he loved you and asked you to marry him but maybe he is still rethinking, stepping back. Maybe he thinks things are going too fast.
All you can do is talk to him. Ask him how he feels. Now is the time in the relationship where the doors of communication will be opened and walked through or closed.
Don't let hurt feelings get in the way. Talk to him.

Come back and talk to us.

[stbmrsd]

I ask him if he still wanted to marry me and he said YES . He said he was going to talk to his Daughter again on Friday not sure what he has to say to her or ask her but I think he wants to see how she is feeling about it now or something . He did call tonight yay I didn't scare the crap out of him after all .
I told him about the boys theropy appointment today they both see her 2 times a month LOVE her . I was telling him about what she talked to them about . She ask the boys how they felt about moving the 8 year old said he didn't want to change school's so she said you know I bet mommy has #'s of your friends ( I do) and you can be the cool kid who can come and visit.. His eyes opened wide and he seem to really like that idea she ask him what he thought about mommy getting married and if he liked the man and Ethan said he liked him .And he thought it was cool he was a coal miner lol . My oldest said he wanted to move he has his own reason's and his 11 so I understand his wanting to move . He said he liked the fact that he could ask this man anything and he would answer him and my son ask ton's of question' s and he did lol.

I will be meeting him in the morning I can't wait to see his face . But other then that I don't think I will be seeing him the rest of the weekend .
I told him today I was done thinking about all of this what I wrote before when I went off in to left field lol . He said he was busy this week and had not had time to give it the thought I did and maybe he should be thinking more . So I said yeah you should take sometime to think about this . I said you know I am thinking of my house meaning my boys and me and what we should do as the plan was to move there and now that's not going to happen unless we are married ( my decision). . I am not sure what the whole thing was about if you can't marry the love of your life was about he said it was hypothetical but hummmm don't know I will talk to him more about it again .
I let him no I just didn't need him because I have been doing this on my own for almost 6 years and have been fine but I wanted him in my life . He just said I know. .
So what else you want to know?

[Kitkat22]

I ask him if he still wanted to marry me and he said YES . He said he was going to talk to his Daughter again on Friday not sure what he has to say to her or ask her but I think he wants to see how she is feeling about it now or something . He did call tonight yay I didnt scare the crap out of him after all .
I told him about the boys theropy appointment today they both see her 2 times a month LOVE her . I was telling him about what she talked to them about . She ask the boys how they felt about moving the 8 year old said he didnt want to change school's so she said you know I bet mommy has #'s of your friends ( I do) and you can be the cool kid who can come and visit ..His eyes opened wide and he seem to really like that idea she ask him what he thought about mommy getting married and if he liked the man and Ethan said he liked him .And he thought it was cool he was a coal miner lol . My oldest said he wanted to move he has his own reason's and his 11 so I understand his wanting to move . He said he liked the fact that he could ask this man anything and he would answer him and my son ask ton's of question' s and he did lol.

I will be meeting him in the morning I can't wait to see his face . but other then that I dont think I will be seeing him the rest of the weekend .
I told him today I was done thinking about all of this what I wrote before when I went off in to left feild lol . He said he was busy this week and had not had time to give it the thought I did and maybe he should be thinking more . So I said yeah you should take sometime to think about this . I said you know I am thinking of my house meaning my boys and me and what we should do as the plan was to move there and now that's not going to happen unless we are married ( my decision) . . I am not sure what the whole thing was about if you can't marry the love of your life was about he said it was hypothetical but hummmm dont know I will talk to him more about it again .
I let him no I just didnt need him becouse I have been doing this on my own for almost 6 years and have been fine but I wanted him in my life . he just said I know . .
So what else ya wanna know ??

I'm glad you said what you thought. If his reason is for the daughter that's normal I guess. If he is hesitating because of your son being autisic... I think that's not right. Autistic kids are very smart in a lot of things. In fact , some are brilliant. I hope you told him that.

[Homegirl 50]

Just take it one day at a time. He knows where you are and you know where he is. Let things go at the pace it is meant to go.

[Kitkat22]

Just take it one day at a time. He knows where you are and you know where he is. Let things go at the pace it is meant to go.

One day at a time. We'll be here.

[stbmrsd]

My son has what is called Aspergers a mild form of Autism so unless I tell someone he has it nobody knows ,My son is a genus (no really) scary for mommy lol..
Yeah I know where he is just not sure where his head is and I don't think he knows either . I shall wait this is all I can do , Live my life as before and love him as always and wait .

[Kitkat22]

My son has what is called Aspergers a mild form of Autism so unless I tell someone he has it nobody knows ,My son is a genus (no really) scary for mommy lol ..
Yeah I know where he is just not sure where his head is and I dont think he knows either . I shall wait this is all I can do , Live my life as before and love him as always and wait .

Good for you.

[Homegirl 50]

Yeah I know where he is just not sure where his head is and I don't think he knows either . I shall wait this is all I can do , Live my life as before and love him as always and wait .

He may not know where his head is. Let the process take its course.
I wish you well.