[mlishbone]

After being together for just under a year, the G/F came at me saying she has become depressed, mad, broke, and that a relationship is to hard right now. (she has a 2 year old).. She is being very truthful, as she doesn't get child support, and doesn't have a good paying job. She states the normal I want you in my life, you're my best friend blah blah. Well we have had the trip to Miami bought months ago, and she still texts, calls, and even hangs out with me, but nothing has changed she can't do a relationship right now. I have told her it feels like she is leading me on, and even when you state you don't want a relationship, call and staying in contact is hard to read, plus last night she states she is still trying to work her vacation out for Miami... What?? I'm assuming everyone on here will say go NC, but I thought some might share thoughts as well.

[TrueFaith]

To be honest.. I would say yeah Go no contact and what the hell was you thinking.. after she said she did not want a relationship.


You should have gone and said OK fine.. no problem.. I'm going to take my bags, and this nice cup of joe and walk out that door..

But you didn't.. So now you are in the What the hell stage,
Never a fun stage at all

But we do it to ourselves most of the time.. like many of us we think.. OK if we show our support and try and be understanding and be everything! And anything the other person wants.. then maybe.. just maybe.. things will go back to the way they were..
And I'm not saying you should not be undestanding or that, but there is a limit and everything is within reason.

But just make sure you are not trying live up or to the expectations of your partner..
Once you start doing that then you are not being yourself you are trying to be something you are not.. and that can only last for so long.. I know I'm going a little off subject here.. but all this kind of floats around the same area..

I've always tried to understand this about myself, why the hell I put myself into these situations..

And 9 times out of 10 its because I think there is hope of getting the person back.. or things! To the way they were.

And that's when I made my mind up that. Going back was never an option only move forward. Which is what you should have done when she told you this news.


My advice

Talk with her.. one last time before you make up your mind tell her how you feel.. and that she is not getting a trip off you as you are probable just as hard up in these times.

But honestly again.. if someone uses the Im to Broke and upset to be in a relationship..
It's a rad flag

I mean.. if you love the person you are with.. none of this should matter right?

If you are a looking for a free ride without any work on your end.. then use the I'm broke and upset.. but I want you around to pay for me! :P and take me on trips!

But you are allowing this to happen, and we get treated how we let other's treat us.



You know what you got to do, you already made up your mind while writing this out..

Leave this girl
Don't wait around for her to make up her mind
Do stuff for yourself live your life

All the best

[mlishbone]

At least I didn't make the contact, she did, but thanks I'm level headed enough to understand that I should walk away, as you said.. if someone can't stick with someone because she became sadded or life got hard, then she'll do it again.

By the way we both booked the trip, been paid by both of us. (long time ago, just we decided that her going would be leading me on, then she just popped up with the I've ready for the trip yesterday)
Thanks again!

[friend4u178]

She's only leading you on if you allow it.

She told you quite clearly that she doesn't want a Relationship , so now it's up to you to decide whether she CAN lead you on , or you move on and live your own life.

[positiveparent]

You guessed right, I suggest you go NC as of now, this female isn't for you, she says she doesn't want a relationship, in that case let her have her wish, Don't be there to be used and taken as a fool, she wants out, you get out.

Too many females and males for that matter, seem to be a touch deaf when they're told that a relationship is not on the cards.

Really go NC, and do yourself a favour, don't let a female take you for a ride.

You're worth much more...

[Homegirl 50]

Take the trip if it is paid for by both of you, or tell her someone else can give you the money and go in your place.
If you do go, I'd tell her since she wants space she can have it and not to contact you anymore.

[talaniman]

I hope those reservations are refundable. Or can be traded for something else, or you both have wasted your money, as who takes a trip with an ex when romance is out of the question?

I sure don't, and neither should you. That would be a miserable trip.