[lenmax2010]

Hi, I have been fighting for 9 years to regain custody of my daughter after I got out of prison ( years ago.. Last year I was finnally able to have a set in stone visiting time with her for up to 9 weeks in the summer.. I have been to see her evvery year for the past 7 seven years but was actually granted summer visits where she is would be able to come to my home in Alaska ( she lives in Oregon with her granmda) for up to 9 weeks depending on how long my daughter wanted to stay... so I made the arrangements and bought tickets and went down to get her for our summer visit.. upon ariving there her grandma said that I didn't clear any of it with her and she woulds only agree to 3 weeks.. but I had called and told them both of my plans and they agreed the week before I went down... now they are saying that I did ever confirm with her granmdsa my plans.. which I had.. and her grandma said I could not have her at all now and that if I didn't like it I could take her back to court.. then my daughter called me.. ( she is 12 by the way) and said since I upset her grandma that she didn't want to see me at all ever gain... my question is can I give up my parental rights and have Betty ( my daughters grandma) adopt her? I am very sad that it has come to this and I fought for 9 years to make up for my past and have been clean and sober and have remained employed and have since married and have a wonderful life up here.. but nothing I do has ever been good enough for Betty and for the past 5 years has said I could come get her for a summer visit and then when I get down there she changes her mind and finds another excuse why I can't have her and we fight.. I am tired of fighting and see no other way to resolve this situation.. Betty has continuly turned my daughter against me, I just don't know what to do any more...
Any advice would be appeciated...

Sincerely, Frances

[JudyKayTee]

Yes, you can relinquish your rights IF someone else will adopt and support your child.

You will need an Attorney.

This is the personal advice which may or may not be appropriate - if you are clean, sober, employed, married, why aren't you filing for the return of custody of your daughter? I hate to see you just walk away from her.

[lenmax2010]

Hi Judy, I did apply for the return of my daughter and was told by the judge and the attorneys that I would never be able have full custody of her again, she has lived in the home with her grandma for 9 years and I have been to see her every summer since my release from prison. I call her every weekend and send her all of the things she needs, such as school clothes, supplies etc.. And every time betty has called and said they need something I have sent it or sent money to get it.. except the times Betty said she needed money to pay her credit cards or her mortgage, other then that if it was food or clothes or other needed things I have sent it... Still the judge said Beth would never be allowed to come live with me due to the length of time she has been there... even when I first got out of prison and established a good clean and sober living, the judge said it was too soon then.. and every year I have a pplied for or fought for custody and or visiting rights I have been turned down until last year where I was granted ste in stone visiting for up to 9 weeks in the summer.. Now when I went down this year Betty refused my visiting and my daughter is mad cause I upset her grandma.. and is saying she didn't really want to come up to see me to begin with but agreed to come so she wouldn't hurt my feelings.. and now has decided that she no longer wants to see me at all... I am very sad that it this way.. how much more can I do... my daughter told me that the only reason she would spend time with me was if I was going to take her shopping and that I had to take her friend with us to so so... Then she called me and said that she thought it was stupid that I was upset she didn't want to come up here to see me after I traveled and had already bought ticktes for her to come home with me... I am at a loss as to what else I can do.. or how much more I can do.. I feel like I have done every thing Betty has asked of me, every thing the judge asked of me.. I pay child support every month and am not behind at all... I have always paid for or sent them what ever Beth has needed or asked for.. What else can I do??

[JudyKayTee]

This makes my heart hurt - if you feel it is in the best interest of your child to be adopted by her Grandmother, then that is what you have to do. It sounds like you are batting your head against a wall, tilting at windmills. I think you do what is best for your daughter and very possibly you and then hope that sometime in the future you reunite.

This is just so sad.

[lenmax2010]

It is very sad... I am very sad about it... I feel like I have given it every thing I can.. up to and including putting my marriage on the line for her.. my husband has stood beside me and supported me through all of it.. but every time something el